There Were Times When I Wished You Were Dead - Chapter 16

Lilian Lou did not look at the mirror. There was no reason to look because the child who lives in the dark forest didn’t need such external elements like cleanliness or beauty.

Denise said that Lilian was a beautiful child, but Lilian thought Denise was a worse liar than herself. Or maybe her eyes were bad because she was sick.

“Why do you keep staring at people? Don’t look at me like that with your eyes wide open? What do you know?”

“What are you talking about, suddenly?”

“Don’t look at me. I don’t want you to! You take everything you receive and don’t listen to a word.”

So, when Kal suddenly got angry at her and told her not to look at him, she thought he hated ugly kids.

“Then it’s okay just to open my eyes and stare?”

“…No. just don’t look and don’t laugh.”

Lilian put her hand on Kal’s forehead with an unusual face.

A little over a week after being imprisoned, people will begin to behave more unusually. Several people have committed suicide. Has Kal finally settled?

“What are you doing?”

“In any case, does it hurt anywhere? Let me see.”

“Who are you treating like a madman!”

His ears were red again.

Perhaps Lilian is Kal’s taste… She doubted, but she soon laughed at her speculation. She was on her way to see her face’s reflection in the water.

Gender taste can vary, but she, who is only dirty, can’t be anyone’s taste. Lilian Lou was a kid who knew that subject well, and she was pretty proud of it.

“You are saying that I am dirty and ugly? Anyway, good-looking things like you…”

“Hey, when did I ever say that… Why are you making things up.”

“I’m thinking of kids like you. It’s obvious, well. But I don’t care. I know, I’m ugly…”

“Oh, no! Your eyes are pretty!”

She thought it was a curse, not a compliment because he was so angry.

Lilian stared at Karloi, who said the exact opposite, with the tone of ‘Yes, you’re ugly!’ It was because she took a long time to accept the content of his words.

Karloi yelled without knowing and was avoiding her gaze as if regretting.

Lilian, who finally understood, turned around, and there was a moment of silence. As the tail of Lilian’s mouth gently raised, Kal suddenly muttered bluntly.

“Give me something to eat! I’m going to die from starvation.”

Lilian smiled and went into the kitchen.

Kal has a cute side, too. She knows that he’ll be humiliated by saying that. Or, are my eyes pretty?

Lilian took out the brooch that Kal gave her from her waist. It was a brooch that Lilian kept in her pocket because she doesn’t want to sell it yet.

She put her eyes on the back of the transparent, shining brooch, and saw sparkling green eyes. ‘I think it’s okay.’

A hum came from the kitchen, and the tied boy still has red ears.

There were such days. It’s been a while.

***

“Lady Chief! Lady Chief!

Lady Ansen, the lady in waiting, hastily visited Mary Ann. Mary Ann was talked about a lot in the palace. The main reason is that she was a commoner who became the lady-in-waiting.

The only reason Yvonne enlisted Mary Ann as the lady-in-waiting, was because she had served Yvonne from her days with the Duke.

“What’s going on?”

“Her Majesty, the Empress is suddenly acting strange!”

The ladies who used to be from the aristocracy hated Mary Ann, but in the end, they came to acknowledge her.

Because Yvonne, who was especially cold to them, was too generous to Mary Anne, and the only one to understand Yvonne well was Mary Ann.

That is why she was urgently looking for Mary Ann.

Mary Ann didn’t ask twice, but just got up from her seat and she ran to the Empress’s bedroom. It was dark, so she couldn’t see anything.

She heard a shrill sound from the inside when Mary Ann tried to turn on the light, the maid next to her trembling.

“Don’t turn on the lights… If you turn it on, she’ll throw and break the mirror.”

“Did the Empress drink alcohol?”

When Mary Ann asked sharply, Lady Ansen nodded carefully. While nodding her head, she wondered how Mary Anne knew.

Lady Anssen sniffs her nose. Did she smell alcohol in the bedroom?

Mary Ann sighed and carefully approached Yvonne. Yvonne did not like the dark. However, when she saw this, it was clear that Yvonne was drunk and must have lost her mind.

“Your Majesty, how can you do this.”

A bottle of liquor rolled around on the bed. There were broken mirror pieces all over the floor, and Yvonne sat on the bed as if she was one of them.

She glanced and could see how much Yvonne had been broken down.

“Remove all the mirrors. I don’t want to look at it.”

“You’ve already broken it all, so there’s nothing left.”

“Get rid of everything that reflects my face. I told you not to use glass.”

She seemed to be talking to Mary Anne and also to herself. There is no child to look at in the mirror.

Yvonne would often do this whenever she remembered the Duke and how her face resembled his.

She was the Duchess’s daughter, and it was ironic to Mary Anne, who remembers the real Yvonne.

“I’m going crazy. I want to die every time I see it. I want to stab him in the face.”

Yvonne murmured like a madman.

The Duchess’ daughter didn’t resemble the Duke at all, but Yvonne seemed to have inherited the physical characteristics of the Duke because of her lack of appearance.

The Duke was sensitive to only two things so that he couldn’t get close to them, the peaches and the Rituna flowers. Even in that case, Yvonne is very similar.

In Croisen, a country famous for its flowers, if you were to pick only one flower as the King of flowers, everyone would say rituna.

Among the rituna flowers, the white flower was said to be the most gorgeous on all continents.

It was not an exaggeration to say that only the royalty and nobles can see rituna fresh flowers in full bloom with hundreds of petals in one flower, as it was challenging to grow them until they bloomed.

Because of its beauty, people often decorate with imitation ones, but royals and high-ranking nobles used to decorate their house with real flowers.

However, it has not been used for decoration since thirty years ago at official banquets at the Imperial Palace, because the Duke of Delois has a sensitive reaction to the scent of fresh rituna flowers.

So, there were a lot of flowers in the Duke’s residence, but rituna was not one of them.

It was a flower that wasn’t even in the Duchy, so Yvonne didn’t know it herself until she entered the Imperial Palace.

Yvonne found out after she entered the Imperial Palace and she walked through a garden full of rituna flowers.

On that day, Yvonne drank like she was now and fell asleep crying.

Though it was a long time ago. Yvonne hadn’t done this for a while as she had become accustomed to life in the Imperial Palace.

“What’s wrong, Your Majesty. Tell me what’s wrong.”

“I don’t know, Mary Ann? Are you asking me because you don’t really know what the problem is?”

Mary Ann turned her gaze, burdened by the suddenly raised head, angry eyes, and sharp voice attack. The guilt pierced through Mary Anne’s chest.

Mary Ann was the only one who cared about Yvonne among the Duke’s many employees. The Duke was well aware of that fact.

〈 If I tightened the leash, she may go crazy. Don’t forget that Mary Ann, you are the one who loosens the collar, but you should never let go. Whatever she does. 〉

Is it worth doing this? She was still a human being, even if she used it. As she recalled the order from the Duke that day, Mary Ann got goosebumps and stroked her arm. Yvonne, who looked at it, covered her face.

“Mary Ann, I’m sorry. Please go somewhere where I can’t see you. I don’t want to shout at you because it’s not your fault.”

Mary Ann nodded and settled away. Yvonne can’t see her, but she can see Yvonne.

Yvonne seemed to have lost her reason when the Emperor and the peacock were in a riot at the same time.

Yes, the problem was the Queen’s coronation ceremony.

The Emperor asked Yvonne to prepare for her coronation ceremony, but Mary Ann knew that he was waiting to find fault. And it was already her fault that it had been delayed like this.

It wasn’t enough to ask the attendant and staff, so when the Emperor saw Yvonne, he would scold her himself.

〈 Are you doing this on purpose? Even if you do this, Keana will become Queen anyway. 〉

The Emperor’s words were so cold that even if her voice was gone, Mary Ann wanted to say something to him.

On the other hand, the Duke screamed at Yvonne, saying she should not accept the Queen. He said that the coronation ceremony should not be done at any cost.

After the Emperor criticized her for what she was doing, the Duke came and verbally abused her repeatedly.

Yvonne was at a loss between them. She understood that Yvonne must be going crazy because of that.

Mary Anne tried to wait calmly because she was drunk. She would feel better after falling asleep and waking up.

Until Karloi suddenly struck, obviously.

From the time Karloi came upon Mary Anne, her heart was full and nervous that she could not remain still.

Yvonne didn’t look sane to anyone. Since the Emperor saw all of this with his own eyes, she did not know what kind of criticism she would get.

The power of the Duke and the reputation of the Empress were different stories. She could not know what the Duke would do to Yvonne if rumors spread that the Empress had lost her mind.

“Mary Ann! Mary Ann, I told you…!”

Yvonne shouted nervously in her bedroom, which was suddenly lit up.

She pledged not to be angry with Mary Ann, but when she thought Mary Ann wouldn’t listen to her, anger and despair overwhelmed Yvonne.

Yvonne was plagued by the urge to stab both the Duke and Karloi with a glass.

No, it’s a lie. Not the Duke and Karloi. It was an impulse to want to end herself with glass. She didn’t know if Yvonne would really do that in a bright place.

Though it was not Mary Anne but Karloi who saw her desperate eyes, Karloi made an unknown look as he stood in front of her.