There Were Times When I Wished You Were Dead - Chapter 19

Poisoning.

She couldn’t believe the brutal words that came out of his mouth.

< Are you serious? >

< I don’t know when the Emperor will entrust a job to me again, so when else would it be possible. Moreover, the Emperor prevents Lady Roden from meeting me alone. >

< Oh, crazy. This would be a hell of a mess. >

< You have to get rid of the Queen anyway. It would be better to do so before she becomes the Queen. >

< But, if the Queen is poisoned at the coronation ceremony you prepared, they would, of course, think it was me. >

< You’re a person who can handle that much pressure, Duke. The woman who was neither the Royal Family nor the Queen yet is killed. >

Halfway, the Duke seemed to rather like the harsh words she spits out.

Did he finally think she was useful? Or did he believe that she had a similarity to himself, not just his appearance?

It seemed like he was already excited and prepared to kill Keana Roden, he even received the list of people working at the Queen’s Coronation Ceremony and all the documents related to the preparation of the Ceremony.

She couldn’t do it.

Yvonne thought so as she felt the raindrops. It is as inevitable as the water falling from top to bottom.

She cannot continue to postpone the Queen’s Coronation Ceremony, and she cannot ignore the Duke’s dictation.

She would rather be washed away by the rain. The rain looked just like fourteen years ago. It was similar to the day where there seemed to be a hole in the sky.

There was no Lilian Lou at the time who cried out loud, not knowing what could be done without dying. Only the fake Yvonne Delois who lived.

“Your Majesty!”

As she turned to where the maids’ voice was, she saw Karloi standing there.

She was thinking of young Kal just now, so she felt strange. It would have been nice if Kal hadn’t grown up, she had a useless thought.

Karloi, who had grown up, was still apathetic to seeing the rain pouring horribly that nothing came to mind.

He blames her for going to and from a garden he doesn’t care about. He seemed to have left because he wasn’t interested in Yvonne.

And he said he wouldn’t let her go. She hated it, and she felt like dying.

“Were you not in good health? Why do you go for a useless walk while annoying people every day? Does the Queen’s Ceremony leave you with the energy to do a walk, or what? Take your maids and go back to the Empress’ Palace.”

Every word he said was a thorn that stabbed people. He didn’t say any good things.

Yes, stupid Karloi. Let’s ignore him. Yvonne decided to do so.

But her body didn’t keep up with the idea. Yvonne hugged Karloi even though her decision was ridiculously wrong.

“What is this?”

He asked, but she had no answer.

Yvonne said to herself that she was just paying her debts. She said that when they were young, she just copied the actions that Kal did.

In reality, she just wanted him to remember. She hopes he remembers similar situations, similar words, anything.

Though, disregarding the memories, seeing Karloi brushing his body as if he had touched something dirty, Yvonne really wanted to hang her neck.

Would you believe me when I die?

She could see Lady Keana standing with her eyes shining behind him.

Even if she wasn’t there, her mind became more uncomfortable for no reason. Does that woman have no concerns? Is there something she is troubled with? Yvonne was envious.

On the other hand, she felt sorry when she remembered the words she said about poisoning.

Will someone who has lived without any hard work die because of me? She thought she couldn’t help it, but she couldn’t kill an innocent lady.

Besides, if Karloi loved her, she imagined them feeding each other something to eat like a sweet new couple.

Yvonne grumbled inside.

She was, indeed, his fated mate. Yvonne can’t even eat peaches, so they couldn’t do anything like that.

She looked at Keana with all kinds of thought, and Keana looked away as if she was embarrassed.

As she looked more innocent, Yvonne wondered how to secretly obtain an antidote and try to feed her in advance.

She barely pressed her soaring irritation and exited the indoor garden.

Kal didn’t keep any promises.

A promise to take her to the garden, a promise to remember, and a promise to keep her.

The sound of the rain became boring.

***

Yvonne couldn’t sleep well as the Queen’s Coronation Ceremony was approaching and eventually sent a secret letter to Keana’s residence.

She managed to persuade Mary Ann that Keana couldn’t die, and if she was caught, it would be a big deal
.
She would rather pretend to be sick, hoping that she would not appear at the Coronation Ceremony.

Because Yvonne couldn’t kill a girl who knew nothing in her life, and the appearance of Karloi, who seemed to like Keana sincerely, was always in her mind.

She couldn’t let the only woman Karloi cared for in the Imperial Palace disappear into the hand of the Duke.

However, despite the fact that she was at risk, Karloi didn’t do anything. He didn’t even ask Yvonne how her Emperor’s censure was going. He didn’t even say anything.

It was only a day before Yvonne, while almost giving up, thought to put the poison in her own cup instead.

Yvonne was watching flowers in the twenty-eighth garden, where exotic plants were planted.

“Isn’t that flower creepy? It’s pretty, but it’s a flower that kills itself.”

Mary Ann whispered to Yvonne, seeing the gorgeous red flowers beautifully set on the clear, clean water.

“Flowers committing suicide? A flower?”

“Don’t you know why? That’s a sorano flower that only blooms in the Mach Empire. When an insect touches it, it spits out the liquid and commits suicide.”

“Then why is the flower fine here.”

“It could be because it magically smokes something that only blooms on Mach, or it could be because there are no insects.”

The intensely beautiful flowers left a dark afterimage on Yvonne. She was shocked to know that even flowers could choose to end their own life.

But what about me?

Upon hearing Yvonne’s new decision, Mary Ann shouted in fright.

“Absolutely not! Do you want to die?”

“It’s not like that. I can take the antidote in advance.”

“What would you do if the antidote didn’t work! The Duke is not a fool!”

“We know the poison. We can figure it out in advance.”

“Really? Then I’d rather give Lady Roden the antidote instead.”

Yvonne bit her mouth at Mary Anne’s sharp voice. Mary Ann was anxious, and she struck Yvonne as if she was the Duke.

“Look at it. Your Majesty also knows that an antidote cannot guarantee safety! Besides, you are weak.”

“…Not like that. How do you approach Lady Roden even if there is an antidote?”

Yvonne quickly spoke as Mary Ann tried to nag her with something else again.

“And in case one goes wrong, the Duke will not hurt her. He won’t even think I did it on purpose.”

“Oh, this is ridiculous….”

“Mary Ann, would you think I would have done something like that?”

Mary Ann looked at Yvonne with her shocked face. She didn’t answer the question but instead asked a question.

“Do you really want to die?”

She tried to answer Mary Anne’s question. But strangely, the words did not come out easily.

Does she really want to die as Mary Anne said?

Seeing Yvonne unable to answer, her face turned blue. Mary Ann began to persuade her in the other direction.

“He’ll notice that you swapped glasses, the Duke.”

Yvonne shook her head with her indifferent face.

“There’s no doubt about it, but we wouldn’t know. As always, he’ll kill all the people involved as well.”

“But… I can’t do it.”

“If you don’t help, I’ll do it with another maid, so it’s easier to spot, and the Duke won’t let me go.”

Mary Ann looked up at Yvonne with her glaring face from her threatening words.

“Why the hell…are you doing this? Did you care about the Emperor?”

Yvonne shook her head once more. She can’t care for Karloi. Not in this situation, but if she cherishes him as a child, she probably cannot.

“I just… I just want to try it. At least this will be my choice.”

She wanted to have a choice. Yvonne muttered blankly. The last choice she made was a long time ago.

Mary Ann, who hadn’t answered for a while, eventually whispered very quietly.

“You have to take the antidote no matter what. I’ll figure it out somehow.”

After Yvonne heard that, she smiled after a very long time. She was somewhat proud. It’s been a long time since the choice she made was to save another innocent person.

She may not be as disgusting as the peacock. She was not like that person.

Only Mary Anne, who saw Yvonne’s smile, was tormented for no reason. At least, she didn’t want to see her smile because of this.

Yvonne continued to smile whether she knew Mary Anne’s heart or not.

***

Lilian and Kal’s escape was not easy at all.

The biggest problem was heavy rain. The heavy rain made it easier for them to escape, but it prevented them just as much as well.

The plan to escape through the remote areas of the dark forest has become extremely difficult due to heavy rain.

The rain mercilessly wet the children’s clothes. If there were no sparsio stone attached to their body, they would have died in the rain.

It took more than a day to get out of the forest. The rain wasn’t at its peak, but it was still strong.
.
Meanwhile, Lilian and Kal were getting hit and swept around, causing their bodies to hurt.

“No, be careful! What if it gets rained on and it gets worse?”

Whenever she bleeds, he stops and heals Lilian’s wounds. Lilian always thought that children from precious families were picky.

Lilian also says it would take time to go through these wounds one by one. Kal ignored the grunting Lilian.

“Hey, people who ignore their wounds aren’t healthy.”

Even the nagging was harsh. Lilian replied that it was normal for her, but Kal didn’t take it at all.

“Ah.”

Kal, who was walking in front of Lilian, groaned a little. Blood was leaking from his back.

Poisoning.

She couldn’t believe the brutal words that came out of his mouth.

< Are you serious? >

< I don’t know when the Emperor will entrust a job to me again, so when else would it be possible. Moreover, the Emperor prevents Lady Roden from meeting me alone. >

< Oh, crazy. This would be a hell of a mess. >

< You have to get rid of the Queen anyway. It would be better to do so before she becomes the Queen. >

< But, if the Queen is poisoned at the coronation ceremony you prepared, they would, of course, think it was me. >

< You’re a person who can handle that much pressure, Duke. The woman who was neither the Royal Family nor the Queen yet is killed. >

Halfway, the Duke seemed to rather like the harsh words she spits out.

Did he finally think she was useful? Or did he believe that she had a similarity to himself, not just his appearance?

It seemed like he was already excited and prepared to kill Keana Roden, he even received the list of people working at the Queen’s Coronation Ceremony and all the documents related to the preparation of the Ceremony.

She couldn’t do it.

Yvonne thought so as she felt the raindrops. It is as inevitable as the water falling from top to bottom.

She cannot continue to postpone the Queen’s Coronation Ceremony, and she cannot ignore the Duke’s dictation.

She would rather be washed away by the rain. The rain looked just like fourteen years ago. It was similar to the day where there seemed to be a hole in the sky.

There was no Lilian Lou at the time who cried out loud, not knowing what could be done without dying. Only the fake Yvonne Delois who lived.

“Your Majesty!”

As she turned to where the maids’ voice was, she saw Karloi standing there.

She was thinking of young Kal just now, so she felt strange. It would have been nice if Kal hadn’t grown up, she had a useless thought.

Karloi, who had grown up, was still apathetic to seeing the rain pouring horribly that nothing came to mind.

He blames her for going to and from a garden he doesn’t care about. He seemed to have left because he wasn’t interested in Yvonne.

And he said he wouldn’t let her go. She hated it, and she felt like dying.

“Were you not in good health? Why do you go for a useless walk while annoying people every day? Does the Queen’s Ceremony leave you with the energy to do a walk, or what? Take your maids and go back to the Empress’ Palace.”

Every word he said was a thorn that stabbed people. He didn’t say any good things.

Yes, stupid Karloi. Let’s ignore him. Yvonne decided to do so.

But her body didn’t keep up with the idea. Yvonne hugged Karloi even though her decision was ridiculously wrong.

“What is this?”

He asked, but she had no answer.

Yvonne said to herself that she was just paying her debts. She said that when they were young, she just copied the actions that Kal did.

In reality, she just wanted him to remember. She hopes he remembers similar situations, similar words, anything.

Though, disregarding the memories, seeing Karloi brushing his body as if he had touched something dirty, Yvonne really wanted to hang her neck.

Would you believe me when I die?

She could see Lady Keana standing with her eyes shining behind him.

Even if she wasn’t there, her mind became more uncomfortable for no reason. Does that woman have no concerns? Is there something she is troubled with? Yvonne was envious.

On the other hand, she felt sorry when she remembered the words she said about poisoning.

Will someone who has lived without any hard work die because of me? She thought she couldn’t help it, but she couldn’t kill an innocent lady.

Besides, if Karloi loved her, she imagined them feeding each other something to eat like a sweet new couple.

Yvonne grumbled inside.

She was, indeed, his fated mate. Yvonne can’t even eat peaches, so they couldn’t do anything like that.

She looked at Keana with all kinds of thought, and Keana looked away as if she was embarrassed.

As she looked more innocent, Yvonne wondered how to secretly obtain an antidote and try to feed her in advance.

She barely pressed her soaring irritation and exited the indoor garden.

Kal didn’t keep any promises.

A promise to take her to the garden, a promise to remember, and a promise to keep her.

The sound of the rain became boring.

***

Yvonne couldn’t sleep well as the Queen’s Coronation Ceremony was approaching and eventually sent a secret letter to Keana’s residence.

She managed to persuade Mary Ann that Keana couldn’t die, and if she was caught, it would be a big deal
.
She would rather pretend to be sick, hoping that she would not appear at the Coronation Ceremony.

Because Yvonne couldn’t kill a girl who knew nothing in her life, and the appearance of Karloi, who seemed to like Keana sincerely, was always in her mind.

She couldn’t let the only woman Karloi cared for in the Imperial Palace disappear into the hand of the Duke.

However, despite the fact that she was at risk, Karloi didn’t do anything. He didn’t even ask Yvonne how her Emperor’s censure was going. He didn’t even say anything.

It was only a day before Yvonne, while almost giving up, thought to put the poison in her own cup instead.

Yvonne was watching flowers in the twenty-eighth garden, where exotic plants were planted.

“Isn’t that flower creepy? It’s pretty, but it’s a flower that kills itself.”

Mary Ann whispered to Yvonne, seeing the gorgeous red flowers beautifully set on the clear, clean water.

“Flowers committing suicide? A flower?”

“Don’t you know why? That’s a sorano flower that only blooms in the Mach Empire. When an insect touches it, it spits out the liquid and commits suicide.”

“Then why is the flower fine here.”

“It could be because it magically smokes something that only blooms on Mach, or it could be because there are no insects.”

The intensely beautiful flowers left a dark afterimage on Yvonne. She was shocked to know that even flowers could choose to end their own life.

But what about me?

Upon hearing Yvonne’s new decision, Mary Ann shouted in fright.

“Absolutely not! Do you want to die?”

“It’s not like that. I can take the antidote in advance.”

“What would you do if the antidote didn’t work! The Duke is not a fool!”

“We know the poison. We can figure it out in advance.”

“Really? Then I’d rather give Lady Roden the antidote instead.”

Yvonne bit her mouth at Mary Anne’s sharp voice. Mary Ann was anxious, and she struck Yvonne as if she was the Duke.

“Look at it. Your Majesty also knows that an antidote cannot guarantee safety! Besides, you are weak.”

“…Not like that. How do you approach Lady Roden even if there is an antidote?”

Yvonne quickly spoke as Mary Ann tried to nag her with something else again.

“And in case one goes wrong, the Duke will not hurt her. He won’t even think I did it on purpose.”

“Oh, this is ridiculous….”

“Mary Ann, would you think I would have done something like that?”

Mary Ann looked at Yvonne with her shocked face. She didn’t answer the question but instead asked a question.

“Do you really want to die?”

She tried to answer Mary Anne’s question. But strangely, the words did not come out easily.

Does she really want to die as Mary Anne said?

Seeing Yvonne unable to answer, her face turned blue. Mary Ann began to persuade her in the other direction.

“He’ll notice that you swapped glasses, the Duke.”

Yvonne shook her head with her indifferent face.

“There’s no doubt about it, but we wouldn’t know. As always, he’ll kill all the people involved as well.”

“But… I can’t do it.”

“If you don’t help, I’ll do it with another maid, so it’s easier to spot, and the Duke won’t let me go.”

Mary Ann looked up at Yvonne with her glaring face from her threatening words.

“Why the hell…are you doing this? Did you care about the Emperor?”

Yvonne shook her head once more. She can’t care for Karloi. Not in this situation, but if she cherishes him as a child, she probably cannot.

“I just… I just want to try it. At least this will be my choice.”

She wanted to have a choice. Yvonne muttered blankly. The last choice she made was a long time ago.

Mary Ann, who hadn’t answered for a while, eventually whispered very quietly.

“You have to take the antidote no matter what. I’ll figure it out somehow.”

After Yvonne heard that, she smiled after a very long time. She was somewhat proud. It’s been a long time since the choice she made was to save another innocent person.

She may not be as disgusting as the peacock. She was not like that person.

Only Mary Anne, who saw Yvonne’s smile, was tormented for no reason. At least, she didn’t want to see her smile because of this.

Yvonne continued to smile whether she knew Mary Anne’s heart or not.

***

Lilian and Kal’s escape was not easy at all.

The biggest problem was heavy rain. The heavy rain made it easier for them to escape, but it prevented them just as much as well.

The plan to escape through the remote areas of the dark forest has become extremely difficult due to heavy rain.

The rain mercilessly wet the children’s clothes. If there were no sparsio stone attached to their body, they would have died in the rain.

It took more than a day to get out of the forest. The rain wasn’t at its peak, but it was still strong.
.
Meanwhile, Lilian and Kal were getting hit and swept around, causing their bodies to hurt.

“No, be careful! What if it gets rained on and it gets worse?”

Whenever she bleeds, he stops and heals Lilian’s wounds. Lilian always thought that children from precious families were picky.

Lilian also says it would take time to go through these wounds one by one. Kal ignored the grunting Lilian.

“Hey, people who ignore their wounds aren’t healthy.”

Even the nagging was harsh. Lilian replied that it was normal for her, but Kal didn’t take it at all.

“Ah.”

Kal, who was walking in front of Lilian, groaned a little. Blood was leaking from his back.