There Were Times When I Wished You Were Dead - Chapter 21

3 – The emperor does not know the empress

“…I was worried.”

A tense silence filled the gap between the emperor and the empress.

Yvonne, who looked at Karloi with a face that seemed to have had a hallucination, pulled away her hand after a while. She couldn’t afford to give her heart to something ephemeral like a dream.

As her little hand was relentlessly slipping away, Karloi was also plagued with a strange feeling of emptiness.

“You wasted your time despite being busy because of me… I’m sorry.”

The words had a chill to them. If her words had a form, it was probably an icicle pointed towards him.

With cold resolve, as if she wasn’t the person who survived death, Karloi became suspicious of his judgment.

Maybe it was a mistake to think that Yvonne liked him? He wondered if he was trying to do something useless.

“It’s not absurd for a husband to be worried about his wife. I’m glad you woke up safely.”

At Karloi’s words, Yvonne’s face crumpled.

Karloi couldn’t figure out what words he said went against Yvonne’s feelings. Did he offend her or something? She had never been friendly, so he wasn’t sure.

“I don’t think your mind and body are well because your Majesty has witnessed something that was not pleasant.”

Now, Yvonne was treating him like a madman.

“No…”

“I’m fine, so why don’t you take a rest, Your Majesty.”

Karloi, trying to add to what he said, looked at Yvonne’s pale face and bit his mouth.

It was Yvonne, not him, who needed to rest. And he needed time to reconsider his hasty judgments, not rest.

“….Then, I’ll be on my way, so the Empress can rest. The physician that the Duke brought in took care of you. Do you really not want an Imperial physician?”

“Yes, that physician knows my condition best.”

Strictly speaking, he was also a servant of the Duke. At Yvonne’s resolute demeanor, Karloi left her bedroom silently.

It was only after he left that Yvonne exhaled a deep, long breath.

What’s wrong with him all of a sudden?

Yvonne was seriously worried that Karloi might have also taken poison.

Shouldn’t he be crying with regrets that she’s not dead right now?

Or maybe he was shocked to see her vomiting blood. Since he was young, Kal behaved like that when he saw blood.

“Your Majesty.”

Yvonne’s thoughts were interrupted by Marlone, the physician who soon entered.

Seeing the physician, Yvonne refined her expression. The physician was the duke’s faithful hand. She survived from the poison, it was obvious that he would doubt her. He will certainly ask beforehand if she took the antidote, why did she take it, how did she know, how was she able to get the antidote, and if she had switched the poison.

She had to lie to trick Marlone, she will say she doesn’t know how she survived. Yvonne took a deep breath and called the physician.

“Marlone.”

“The heavens have helped.”

But the words from the physician’s mouth were unexpected.

“Shortly after drinking poison, His Majesty the Emperor poured the antidote, so you could escape death. I’ve been dizzy…”

“Antidote? His Majesty?”

“Oh, didn’t you know? He always carries an antidote.”

Fortunately, Marlone didn’t seem to have noticed that Yvonne had already had the antidote beforehand.

“It’s not surprising. It’s Croisen, which surpasses most botanists when it comes to poison, but the Emperor is more sensitive.”

Yvonne was confused since it was Karloi who saved her.

He would rather be compassionate if he felt bad at all, but Karloi seemed unable to even do that. Is there anything as cruel as ambiguity?

“Anyway, you have to be careful for a few weeks. You need to choose your food and take medicine well.”

“Okay.”

“Lift your arms.”

As Yvonne extended her arm, the physician rolled her sleeves and examined her skin.

Yvonne, who had long suffered from the physical violence of the Duke, had many indelible scars here and there.

When the marriage to the emperor was settled, the duke hurriedly called the physician. He took a servant and threatened to use the now-illegal transfer magic, asking him to move the wounds to them, but unfortunately, the scar cannot be transferred.

Marlone was afraid of the duke’s anger, keeping the scar from being seen as a temporary measure.

Physicians knew how to deal with basic medical magic and also knew how to cover up blemishes on the skin.

But it doesn’t last forever, like almost all magic on the continent, it required a periodic prescription.

“I was worried that the poison would affect it, but it’s still all right. If you ever get scars, you need to call me right away.”

“Okay.”

So, the Duke rejected the Imperial healers and sent the physician to follow Yvonne on the pretext of Yvonne’s condition.

Seeing Yvonne answering softly, the physician got up from his seat with a sigh.

“The Duke was worried. I told him that I’ll let him know when your condition improves. He knows you’re awake, so he’ll be back in a few days.”

The choice of the word ‘worry’ was hilarious, but Yvonne nodded without any expression. When the physician left her bedroom, Yvonne was alone.

She had to rest for now. That way, she would be able to face the Duke.

***

Karloi sat in the office with a stern expression.

“Gorten, what do you think the Empress thinks of me?”

The unexpected question confused Gorten.

‘What do you mean, what do you think? No, what would the empress think about the emperor in the first place?’

Of course, he couldn’t answer that way.

“Ah… um, what do you mean…?”

“Don’t you think she hates me?”

It was a new question. There was a very obvious answer, but Gorten didn’t say the answer right away because of his years of experience. If the answer is obvious, it is a question with a trap.

It was also a question that had a lot of room for other answers when you ponder on it. The empress had a lot of strange corners, even for the chief attendant himself.

“Looking at the position or the way Her Majesty treats you… I guess it’s true that she doesn’t like your Majesty.”

Gorten slowly picked his words.

“But to say she didn’t like? There is a sense of ambiguity. If she really hates you, you will likely see a violent attitude like the duke or Your Majesty.”

Karloi thought between himself and the Duke without saying anything. If she makes the feelings of hostility and hate visible, it would be shown.

“If you think about these things, the empress’s attitude was extremely moderate. She did not take any action other than ignoring your Majesty.”

To be honest, the Empress didn’t hate the Emperor. She just seemed to have no interest in him.

Of course, Gorten thought only to himself.

Karloi nodded slowly.

Gorten’s opinion about the Duke’s attitude to the Emperor, and the Emperor to the Empress without going far seemed reasonable at first glance.

Even though Karloi thought it was. Had Yvonne truly hated Karloi, she would have shown what true hate and violence really looks like.

Karloi’s face got even more serious.

“Though, why are you asking that all of a sudden?”

Gorten was suspicious whether the rumors he had heard in the Imperial Palace these days were correct. People were already talking in such a way that the relationship between the two was different because Karloi stayed in her palace the entire time she was unconscious.

Already in a swamp of his own thoughts, Karloi had no answer.

He acted impulsively and doubted himself for a moment, but the more he thought about it, the more reasonable it was.

Keana’s words were not wrong. As the confrontation between the Duke and Karloi continued, there was nothing better, and Yvonne Delois was the best chance to catch the Duke.

The way to use Yvonne, who was bound by blood, the way he wanted, was to use her emotions.

But he wasn’t certain yet. Yvonne’s attitude was vague, so it was questionable whether she would follow Karloi if he ever wanted to use her.

“…..We need to get closer to the empress.”

“Now?”

Gorten couldn’t keep up with Karloi’s thoughts.

“Do you know what to do first?”

Gorten clicked his tongue as he saw Karloi with a perplexed expression. You must meet a woman before knowing how to get close to her.

“It would be impossible for you to treat women, or just people well since you have never been friendly.”

“It’s not surprising that no one taught me what that is… You haven’t been here for a while.”

Despite being a bit blunt, Karloi responded quietly to Gorten without criticizing him.

For a while? So when did this happen? It was difficult for Gorten to ask, and Karloi was already lost in his thoughts.

This was what Gorten often saw over the past fourteen years. At some point, he didn’t look as if he was thinking about something.

Oh, no. He had seen that face once recently.

Gorten moved his eyebrows around and tried to remember. Gorten, who recognized it before long, almost clapped his hands.

On a rainy day, seeing the Empress in the indoor garden, Karloi had that expression.

“What are you thinking?”

“… Nothing.”

It looked like nothing at all, but Gorten didn’t ask twice. In the past 14 years, Karloi has never answered properly.

Gorten did not know who the owner of this expression was.

***

The day after Yvonne woke up, the Duke visited the Empress’s Palace. It was patient for the duke not to come immediately on that day.

“What the hell happened?”

A person almost died after drinking poison, but there was no empty question of if she was okay. Not everyone could be this cold-blooded, but on the other hand, she felt that the Duke was really great at being cold-blooded.

Expecting all this, Yvonne casually faced the alleged evil face of the Duke.

Whenever the duke came and talked about things, she always thought it was such nonsense. She wishes she could kick that bastard’s important part before she dies.

Of course, there would be no regrets if she could kill him, but now she doesn’t even want to do such a thing. She just wanted to give him a lot of pain.

Yvonne slowly opened her mouth, thinking it was fortunate that the Duke could not read her thoughts.

“I have no idea. Did the Duke make some mistake?”

“Do you really think I would do that? This is ridiculous.”

The Duke, screaming nervously, suddenly flashed his eyes and looked at Yvonne.

It was scary to see him glancing over as if he was trying to find fault, though Yvonne did not avoid the gaze.

He asked in a lowered voice.

“By any chance, did you try to do something stupid?”

────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────