Thomas Prest: A Simple Magician - Chapter 84: Grouchy Crouch

Crouch looked at Harry Potter, noticing where the boy was looking, and he instantly frowned. The boy’s embarrassed expression and subtle possessive look were a dead giveaway that the wand was his and not the man who Crouch first targeted to be the culprit.

This complicated things a lot.

The spell they used to locate the wand’s owner could be used only if he was in the vicinity and it would only show a general location, rather than pinpoint the person. It was not a very reliable spell anyway and all of them were surprised when they got a positive result.

Crouch was happy about that. He didn’t want to find the man who used the wand anyway and misleading the Aurors on the trail of the owner of the obviously stolen wand was as good a way to prevent them from doing it as any.

But the fact the wand belonged to the Boy-Who-Lived was completely unexpected.

Crouch was not stupid enough to think he could accuse the Boy-Who-Lived of this and get away with it. The public would have gone bonkers and both he and the Ministry would have been eaten alive.

The political fallout from that would have been massive and Crouch had no doubt his ‘colleagues’ would throw him under the Knight Bus, so to speak, so they would not have to endure the hit to their careers for his mistakes.

With the diplomatic disaster this Quidditch World Championship was shaping up to be, the Ministry did not need any more scandals. He… didn’t need any more scandals. As the current head of the Department of International Magical Cooperation, he will have enough problems as it is with this utter shitstorm.

As much as Crouch hated it, getting the public on his case for being mean to their golden boy would not help him right now.

Despite all that, Crouch had a very good guess of who was the culprit and who exactly stole the boy’s wand. And he definitely did not want anyone getting close to the truth. It would have been devastating for his life and career.

Maybe if the boy was alone, without an adult who was defending him present, he could try to get a confession from the obviously frightened teen and that would change things a bit but now…

“Return it.” He grouchily growled out, completely dissatisfied with this ending as he lowered his wand and signaled for the Aurors to do so too.

Alas, there was no good outcome waiting for him if he pressed here. He didn’t get to his high position in the Ministry by not knowing how these games were being played.

And the unknown smug bastard at whom they were still aiming their wands clearly knew how to play too. Unfortunately.

“But…” The Auror holding the wand hesitated.

The wand was a piece of important evidence. But if he returned it to the boy, it could be counted as compromised and therefore unusable for any further investigation according to the protocols of DMLE.

On the other hand, it was a wand. The most important possession of every wizard. Obviously, DMLE could not hold onto Harry Potter’s wand for long either way. Maybe if the boy was an ordinary wizard, it could have been done but this was Harry Potter! No way could they hold onto his wand!

Still… this was not according to the protocols!

Deep down, he knew he should wait for Amelia Bones to make the call but…

“Do it!” Crouch huffed, glaring at the hesitant Auror who flinched and mindlessly obeyed the former head of the DMLE, approaching the Boy-Who-Lived.

“Thank you.” Harry joyfully exclaimed as he received his wand and with obvious relief, put it back into his pocket, tightly gripping it.

Seeing that, Crouch was inwardly extremely relieved. ‘At least now the boy will use the wand in the following few days and when some smartass finally gets the idea to use special regulated spells to get the dark mark’s caster’s magical signature, the wand will only give Potter’s.’

Just like that, this problem of his was solved, and the Potter-boy was turned into an unknowing accomplice for an added measure of safety.

If only his other problems were so easy to solve too…

Crouch then grumpily turned towards Tom and gave him a glare, “Not far away from here is a destroyed part of a forest with many severed limbs lying around. You wouldn’t have had anything to do with it, would you?”

Of course, Crouch only meant it as a threat that he could easily pin it on them if they further annoyed him. After all, as much as the Potter-boy was untouchable, the other people around were not. But Tom’s reaction was something that took him by a surprise.

Tom just mirthfully smiled as he asked, “Did you find any bodies?”

That, for the third time in the past ten minutes, made Crouch’s mind come to a total halt.

“What?” He flatly asked.

He expected many reactions from Tom. From vehemently refusing the accusation to getting angry… but asking such a question was basically admitting they were a part of that massacre!

Crouch and the Aurors had a hard time computing this absurd situation they found themselves in.

“I asked if you have found any bodies.” Tom nonchalantly said again without any worry.

“Why would that matter!?” Crouch screamed as he and his entourage were getting tenser due to Tom’s indirect confession. They were about to draw their wands again but Tom just leisurely shrugged.

“Well, no bodies mean no case and no case means you can not apprehend us. It’s what your own laws state, you know, Mr. EX-Director of the Law Department. You should know these laws, no?” Tom said with a tone full of mocking innocence.

He really found some of the laws of Wizarding Britain ridiculous. The criminal law was especially full of holes and exploits like this due to how politics worked in the community.

The Dark Faction no doubt put these laws into practice with their current flexible wording so they would have an easy way to avoid criminal charges if it came to that. Some of these laws were even from the times of Voldemort, not changed one bit in the past decade, and God, were they stupid.

For example, depending on the angle one looked at it, one law, in particular, was basically forbidding the wizards from defending themselves against the Death Eaters.

At least, that’s how the wording of one particular could be comprehended by a crafty lawyer.

The Dark Faction was certainly very crafty when it came to politics if this was allowed to pass in the Wizarding Government. Tom had to give them the credit for that at the very least.

But also… There was something poetic about Tom using the very same laws the Dark Faction painstakingly lobbied for in order to justify his crippling and slaughtering their spare scions.

While Crouch and his three Aurors were utterly dumbfounded at Tom’s audacity, he just continued speaking, “Just think about all the nifty ways a few severed limbs could be replicated via magic. Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. What kind of vandals would kill a lot of people, then destroy a forest clearing, and after that leave their own limbs lying around, littering the place with trash? The kids these days… I think you should keep your eyes open in the next few days and who knows? Maybe you will find some young trigger-happy thug in need of a hand, arm, or leg.”

Naturally, Crouch understood what Tom was saying. Their community was not ‘that’ large and whoever from the dark families would turn up freshly missing a limb in the following days was certainly a part of this… raid.

Crouch snorted, knowing that nothing would come out of it anyway.

“You really think you are funny, don’t you?” He scoffed, angry at being spoken to like this and the Wizarding Britain laws being made fun of, “Unfortunately for you, you are no Malfoy. You have no influence to talk your way out of trouble. Boys, arrest him.”

Tom inwardly sighed. In a way, Crouch was right. The loopholes in the laws only applied to people who were influential and could make use of them.

But the reason for admitting the crime in this fashion was simple. The Dark Faction would know about it anyway and doing this rodeo now would allow Tom to prevent them from trying to sick the DMLE on him at a later date.

It was just a pity that Crouch was such a stubborn idiot.

At least the three Aurors with him showed that Tom’s words had a small effect on them and hesitated from fulfilling Crouch’s orders because arresting him was indeed against the regulations.

Not wanting this to come into bloodshed, as letting himself be arrested was not on Tom’s schedule, Tom decided to go for a ‘finishing’ move. He would not hesitate to slaughter Crouch and his Aurors if it was necessary but… the fact that Hermione and her friends were currently behind them complicated matters immensely.

Tom completely ignored the indignant Crouch and turned towards the hesitating Aurors who most likely thought about the protocols and regulations they had to abide by, and asked them, “And you three… you do know that obeying his,” He pointed at Crouch, “orders can get you in nasty trouble, don’t you? He is not part of the DMLE and certainly not your superior in any way. I wonder how the head of your department would react if she knew about this.”

Tom didn’t even need to lie about that. Crouch was the EX-head of the DMLE. That meant he had no authority over the DMLE and its Aurors anymore. He was like a retired police officer. Retired meant he was now a civilian. He could not just order previously lower-ranked police officers as he pleased for his own benefit.

Yet, he was doing just that.

If there was anything that could stop the Aurors from obeying the Hitler-wannabe, it was this. The occupation of Auror was a quite prestigious one in the Wizarding World and the punishment for this could easily net them being fired.

No matter how much respect these three idiots had for their ex-head Crouch, they would not risk it.

Or at least, that was what Tom was banking on and it seemed he was right as the Aurors did not move to arrest him anymore.

Tom didn’t want to point it out so blatantly as it would almost definitely make Crouch into his enemy… but since the man was so hell-bent on being an eye-sore, he gave Tom no choice.

“You-!?” Crouch’s face grew purple due to his anger as his tone rose but the poor man was once again cut off by a completely new voice.

“But he is right, isn’t he, Crouch?”