Thundercloud Rainstorm - Chapter 3

I was the one who suffered, but it looked as if Il-Jo the one who had been hit by me.

“What?” A cold voice came out, even though it was not made up. As he slowly raised his upper body, Il-Jo hurriedly bit his lips. As if I was going to beat him right now.

“what’s your excuse.”

“….”

It feels bad to kept silent, knowing how I feel. When I move my stiff neck with a motion, I instantly felt dizzy. It was only then that I remembered what had happened before. I drank a bottle of alcohol when I have dinner and slept leaning on the sofa from the drowsy drunkenness that was pouring in me.

“water.” At my words, Il-Jo ran to the back and fetched a glass of water. The fingers of the guy who rubbed the glass as he took it were trembling.

“Not this, but cold water.” Enduring the throbbing in my temples, he held out the cup again. It was pretty good when I drank it… It wasn’t a good drink after all. Il-Jo ran again and filled the cup with cold water.

“What time is it now?”

“… eleven o’clock.” Il-Jo answered in a tight voice. At the same time, a breeze laugh escaped my mouth.

“You answer well.”

“uh?”

“While you can answering this, why didn’t you answer what I asked you earlier?”

“I’m sorry… .”

“I don’t want to hear an apology.”

Il-Jo shut his mouth again. The face that didn’t know how to behave properly just looked really foolish.

“Can’t you answer me?”

“… .”

“Why are you doing something you can’t even answer?” I asked angrily and placed the empty cup on the table. Then Il-Jo looked at the cup and me alternately. He seemed to be contemplating whether or not to bring more water. I didn’t like the hesitancy I could see. I said with a chuckle, “You don’t seem very sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry. I really am so sorry, I just  don’t know how to apologize.”

If you’re really sorry, shouldn’t you get down on your knees and beg? I stared at the guy. Il-Jo stood farther away than before. It just seemed like he wanted to protect himself from me. That’s look really funny … anyone who sees it will suspect that I am the culprit.

“What have you done to my drink?” When asked sarcastically, Il-Jo raised his head, which had been bowed down. Both eyes were filled with regret.

“… I don’t.” Il-Jo replied with difficulty. It was a voice like a strangled person. It was easy to see that my question had hurt him. I got up without a word and went into the bedroom. When passing him, he deliberately did not hide his sigh. It wasn’t me who usually closed the door—but Il-Jo, but this time I also closed the door.

The door closed louder than expected.

But Il-Jo need to know what he did. It may have sounded like I’m really mad. I know he didn’t do anything with alcohol. I got the cap off the bottle that had been sealed in the gift wrap. Il-Jo drank only one drink that I had poured, and said he did not know the taste and put it down. The reason I was drunk was that I almost emptied the rest of the bottle by myself. Knowing that, I put all the charges on him. I wonder if a guy who dares to secretly kiss while he’s asleep can’t do anything worse than that. By the way, since when? I felt bad.

He should thank to me, you are living with me… . He had such a thick face, so he could have stayed next to his uncle. Suddenly, I was blaming him for even living in my house. Of course, I myself was not unaware of the contradiction of this logic. What used to be a frivolous anger for a moment has now become a legitimate anger affair with that one thief’s kiss. I was more distracted than usual, but I fell asleep quickly. Even while waking up the next day, washing up and getting ready for work, I completely forgot what had happened last night. Oh yeah. Yesterday Lee Il-jo kissed me. Before leaving the house, I barely remembered that fact when I saw the door that was still closed. If it weren’t for that, we probably wouldn’t have much of a conflict.

We could have lived without it. Thinking that two people with completely different circumstances can get along this well, I would have been able to overcome one of my prejudices.

In fact, it is not easy to break free from the prejudices that you have created yourself when you reach your 30s. Living with Il-Jo was such an impressive experience for me. Having brushed off my prejudices like that, I would also have contributed to an example where people should not be judged solely on their educational background or occupation. But such a future is now completely impossible. It was then that the balance between the two of us was disturbed. And it was all Lee Il-jo’s fault.

*****

“How’d that happen?” Seungjae’s question contained many things. I did not answer easily.

“You hate stupid kids. How did you get involved?”

“Do you hate it, don’t you despise it.” Kyung-eon accepted Seung-jae’s words. It was very annoying to see him smile and laugh. The ‘dumb kids’ that Seungjae refers to here refer to people with narrow eyesight who start work without anticipating the outcome. People who ignore the fact that if they cross the line I have drawn, the relationship will be ruined. Most of these people are so engrossed in their emotions that they can only go straight. My field of vision is narrow, so I can’t just look ahead. The most recent example would be an ex-girlfriend who was constantly trying to stamp with me, even though I had never even talked about marriage.

What kind of people who clings to a very small probability, hoping that they will be the only exception. And I think all of that is stupid.

“I do not know. It’s a long story.”

“Long story… you mean, it’s bothersome  to explain. Don’t you even want to wasted your energy to be angry?”

I just nodded my head. I didn’t want to say that we were cousins, and I didn’t want to say that we were living together. It’s even harder to explain

“Just cut him out? It’s nothing new.”

“I will… .”

There’s no excuse right now for not explaining the situation. So, eventually I gave up. “He live in my house now.”

“Did he bragged in? How could everyone is so crazy nowadays… .”

“No, I told him to move in.”

“What? Hey! Then of course he’ll get the wrong idea. Man, you screwed up!”

Seungjae and Kyungeon both had expressions of absurdity. At this point, I definitely understood. Yes. I gave him hope. I shouldn’t have taken it home in the first place… The irritability that pricked me on the first day I brought Il-Jo into the house must have come from this ominous future. Because in the end it was something to regret. Usually I’m good at drawing a line for those who approach me for something, especially for an emotional reward. But this time I broke the line first.

“Why did you bring him home? You don’t even invite us. “

“I didn’t know he was gay.”

“What are you talking about? ? Didn’t you get together with some guys before?”—so there’s nothing more to say.

No, I thought my cousin would be fine. And at this point my irritation turned into anger. Little by little, I began to realize how absurd Lee Il-jo was. Even though we don’t come and go, we’re relatives and men above that. Is it my fault for letting this happen? Besides, on the subject of living on a bill, it feeds on my sympathy.

“Hey, I’m a victim here.” I said sarcastically.

Then, Seungjae, who looked complicated, gave the answer in one word. “Kick him out.”

“Of course.”

On the way home from after separating up with my two friends, I called Il-Jo. But Il-Jo didn’t pick up the calls.

I let out a sigh of anger and sent a text message.

[Don’t sleep and wait for me.]