Tianting Kindergarten - Chapter 2

If he was in his original form now, Bai Ze’s ears would definitely have drooped to the ground. Why didn’t he calculate his luck before going out? If he had known that he would commit a crime today, he would not have come to heaven. It would not have been serious to sleep for another day while the top of the mountain was not yet flooded. This was good, now he had offended Tianzun.

Tianzun’s jade mat came down and he floated beside Bai Ze[1], then tilting his head to look at him, Tianzun stretched out a white and tender finger, and touched his frowning brows: “It’s okay, those who don’t know are innocent.”

His beard and hair were all white, and every time he sat cross-legged and meditated with his eyes closed, he was awe-inspiring and people couldn’t help but worship him. Today, Tianzun was only three feet tall, with his short legs crossed, while his slender eyelashes cast a drowsy shadow on his delicate face.

Facing such a heavenly deity, Bai Ze couldn’t feel awe at all, he just wanted to use his claws to hook the slender eyelashes, poke the chubby little face, and roll the little guy on the clouds a few times, then hide it in his fur.

Bai Ze shook his head, watched the little Tianzun and swallowed his saliva: “This…what’s going on?”

The Jade Emperor sighed and said the reason with a bitter face: “You saw it too, Bai Ze. The mountain has turned into the East Sea…”

After Nuwa repaired the sky[2], she left a prophecy, telling the gods that every few thousand years, there would be a reincarnation, and the sea would become a mulberry field, or the mulberry field will become a sea. Since the establishment of the Heavenly Court, this kind of change had never been experienced before, and it was the first time the Jade Emperor encountered it.

“Isn’t it the Chinese New Year? The power of reincarnation has begun to come true. The Heavenly Lords have been affected and are being rejuvenated.” The Jade Emperor walked down the jade steps, grabbed Bai Ze’s hand, and said earnestly, “You came just in time. My time is almost here! I’m so worried, Heaven needs you very much right now, Lord Bai Ze.”

“Me?” Bai Ze’s eyes widened, “What can I do?” He was just an auspicious beast with its own auspicious light, but there was no way to turn things around with his ability.

“You don’t know…” Before the Jade Emperor finished speaking, a flame lit up from the sky, flashed across the sky in an instant, and rushed into Lingxiao Hall in a hurry. Bai Ze pulled Tianzun’s jade mat, and quickly moved away to avoid being burned by the flames.

Tianzun, who was floating in mid-air, subconsciously wielded a burst of immortal power.

Fuli Yuanshi Tianzun’s Liangyi Hunyuan knot was the most powerful defensive barrier in the heavens. It had saved the heavens from danger countless times. Even the most ferocious ancient beasts could not break through this barrier of immortal power. It was said that when the power of the two instruments was used, it could cover most of the heavenly palace. If Tianzun used all his strength, he could even protect the entire heavenly court.

The three-foot-tall Tianzun formed seals with his hands, gathered auspicious energy all over his body, and released a transparent bubble the size of a fist with a “pop”.

Bai Ze: “…” Is this the Hunyuan Knot of Liangyi?

The transparent bubbles failed to stop the flame from spreading, but only covered the source of the flame. The flames dissipated, revealing the true face of Liu Guang, who was actually Nezha stepping on Hot Wheels.

Nezha[3], the powerful and prominent general in the heavens, was transformed from lotus roots. Thus, he had maintained a youthful appearance for thousands of years, with a slender figure and clear eyebrows. He was holding a small child, kicking his legs wildly.

“Niezi, let me down!” the child on Nezha’s shoulder yelled.

The Hot Wheels turned off and he could not stop flying immediately. Nezha staggered and fell down together with the child on his shoulders.

“Hey!” The child in the armor fell and gnawed on the mud, and the little pagoda he was holding in his hand also fell off, flying away with a bang.

The child got up with a jerk, picked up the pagoda in two steps, and jumped to beat Nezha.

Nezha dodged in embarrassment, clasped his fists with both hands, bowed and saluted, and said, “I report to the Jade Emperor, my father suddenly changed into this look this morning.”

Nezha thought that his father’s cultivation had gone wrong and that was why he became  little baby that only reached his knees, so he hurriedly carried him to find the Jade Emperor.

“This is…” Bai Ze twitched the corner of his mouth, was this Nezha’s father? Holding one hundred thousand heavenly soldiers in his hands, Li Jing[4], the super powerful King of Tota?

The child in armor waved the little pagoda in his hand relentlessly, Nezha didn’t dare to fight back, so he could only keep dodging, and when he couldn’t dodge in time, he stretched out his hand to hold his Daddy’s little head.

The little Li Jing swung his arm vigorously, but he couldn’t hit his son, so he became even angrier.

The Jade Emperor rubbed his forehead with a headache, and waved his hand to signal Nezha to take his father aside to coax him.

Nezha opened his mouth wide in surprise, pointed to himself, and then pointed to the armored figure on the ground. Did he hear correctly, the Jade Emperor asked him to coax his father?

“Ouch!” Nezha was stunned, and Li Jing who jumped up suddenly hit his head. Seeing that he wanted to hit him again, he could only run into the hall with his legs open.

“You have seen it all. After Tianzun became smaller, his mana has been damaged.” Jade Emperor pointed to Tianzun on one side. The guy was wrapping things in bubbles in front of him and looking up and down reservedly.

Bai Ze looked at Li Jing who was beating someone with a pagoda, and then at the pink and tender Tianzun, and swallowed his saliva. In other words, the power of reincarnation would not only affect Tianzun, but also other gods.

Tianzun’s jade mat slowly lowered, and the bubble in his hand disappeared with a bang, and the two hot wheels fell to the ground clangingly. Nezha quickly retracted it, stepped on it and floated up. Li Jing held the pagoda and jumped up with all his strength on his short legs.

“Not only mana, but also their minds will become younger, and their own skills will be forgotten.” Jade Emperor[5] frowned, this was what he was really worried about.

When the gods became children, they may gradually forget their strengths.

Ordinary people could become immortals after attaining the Tao, and immortals could become gods through cultivation. The higher the mana, the closer the way of heaven, the more severely affected they would be by the power of reincarnation. Therefore, the first one to become a child was Tianzun. Next, Taishang Laojun[6], Lord Donghua[7], the twenty-eight mansions[8], and even Leigong[9] and Dianmu[10], Feng Po Po[11], would all be affected by the power of reincarnation, and by then, the heavens would be in chaos.

Bai Ze looked at the sky and imagined the scene at that time.

The world needed rain, but Leigong wielded the reduced thunder weapon, and only released a cannon; Feng Po Po opened the cloth bag, and the wind was only strong enough to blow the Jade Emperor’s hair, it would be a bit shameful.

“Then, what does this have to do with this minister?” Bai Ze blinked. He was an ancient beast, not affected by the power of reincarnation. He had been shrunk into a small fur ball for so many years since the creation of the world.

“The ancient gods and beasts are not subject to the power of reincarnation, and now the catastrophe is approaching, and only you can help me.” The Jade Emperor said deeply.

Bai Ze’s eyes widened. The Jade Emperor was also a mortal who cultivated and would be affected by the power of reincarnation. Asking him to help, was it not asking him to take the place of Jade Emperor temporarily!

“This minister is a beast of assistance, and cannot be king!” The upright beast directly refused without thinking.

“Who said you are going to be king!” Jade Emperor rubbed the twitching veins on his forehead, “What I want you to do, you can do.”

Seeing Jade Emperor waiting for him to save the world and the appearance of the common people, and looking at Nezha who was trying to coax his father, he always felt that this was not a good job, but Bai Ze still bit the bullet and stumbled: “I … will definitely do my best.”

“Kindergarten,” said the Jade Emperor with a serious face, “gather the shrunken immortals together and teach them the skills they used to know. I don’t know when the power of reincarnation will disappear. Before that, those shrunken gods must relearn their skills so that they can guard their respective positions and ensure that there will be no troubles.”

Bai Ze was dumbfounded. He was stunned for a long time before choking out a sentence: “Kindergarten is… yes, but I don’t know the skills of the gods and immortals!”

He really didn’t understand, let alone the Yue Lao[12] holding the red knots, there was the marshal who trained the heavenly soldiers… How could he teach those children even if he became a kindergarten principal?

Unmoved, the Jade Emperor waved his hands and said, “The auspicious beast Bai Ze can help anyone in the world, I believe in you.”

But I don’t believe in myself! Bai Ze opened his mouth and looked at Tianzun for help.

“Go, I will give you the Yuqing Palace.” The Jade Emperor then added.

Fuli Tianzun, who was originally expressionless, frowned slightly when he heard the words: “Why?”

Yuqing Palace was the palace where Tianzun lived, and the Jade Emperor suddenly wanted to requisition Yuqing Palace without consulting him in advance.

The Jade Emperor said that all the gods would become children, and the order of the three realms could not be maintained. If the news spread, not to mention the human world, the heavens would be in chaos first. Therefore, the shrunken gods must hide first, they would use the excuse that they were discussing the way of immortality.

However, for a god like Laojun who had immeasurable merit and power, no one could discuss the way of immortality with him except Tianzun. Therefore, they could only drive everyone to Yuqing Palace.

“It’s better to declare to the outside world that Tianzun has recently realized something and wants to preach to everyone,” the Jade Emperor slapped his forehead and made up his mind. He avoided Tianzun’s staring eyes, turned his head and looked towards Nezha, who was being chased and beaten by his father and said, “Then what, Nezha, come here.”

Hearing this, Nezha picked up his father, who was still kicking his legs, and walked over: “What is your majesty’s order?”

The Jade Emperor thought that they would have to set up an arresting team to arrest the shrunken gods and send them to the kindergarten for classes. The Jade Emperor was very satisfied when he saw Nezha’s athleticism when he caught his father, so he said: “I am naming you the Grand Marshal of the Infants, responsible for arresting them. All the shrunken immortals should be sent to Yuqing Palace without error.”

“Understood!” Nezha clasped his fists together, only to realize that he was still holding his father, so he coughed dryly, and saluted with one hand.

After assigning the tasks, the Jade Emperor finally breathed a sigh of relief, returned to the throne, picked up the jade pot, smacked his mouth and drank the fine wine, then he waved his hands to signal that they could leave.

Bai Ze left the Lingxiao Palace sullenly, and Nezha, who got a new errand, quickly followed him: “Shenjun, shall I go to Yuqing Palace with you?”

If there was a kindergarten, his father who had become smaller should be put in immediately.

Li Jing ran up on his short legs and stretched his legs to kick Nezha.

Bai Ze looked at Li Jing who was still cursing and twitched the corners of his mouth: “You throw your father home first, I have to clean up the Yuqing Palace.”

Nezha scratched his head, thinking that what Bai Ze said was right, the Yuqing Palace hadn’t been decorated yet, his father was so good at tossing around, maybe he would run out after he put him in, so he carried his father on his shoulders, fisted at Bai Ze and the Tianzun behind him, turned around and jumped on the hot wheels, then he turned into a stream of fire, and with a whoosh, he disappeared over the Lingxiao Temple.

“Niezi, my tower!” Li Jing’s angry roar came from the air.

After a while, Nezha came back again, picked up the small pagoda that fell on the ground, stuffed it into his father’s hand, clasped his fists again, and flew away with a “swish”.

The author has something to say:

Small theater:

“Small dad is not easy to serve”

Nezha: Dad, it’s time to eat!

Li Jing: Niezi, how are you talking to me!

Nezha: How about that?

Li Jing: Call me, my lord father!

Nezha: …My Lord Father, it’s time for dinner!

Li Jing: It’s not too bad

Nezha:…

T/N: Phew…. So many footnotes… I have learnt so much about the Chinese pantheon of Gods because of this novel…

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Previous • Table of Contents • Next

[1] Bai Ze is a sacred and auspicious beast from Chinese mythology, first recorded in the Bao Pu Zi, a text that was believed to have been written sometime between 317-420 ADE. It is a symbolic omen of all that is good and brings joy to all that gaze upon it.

The Bai Ze was first described as a dragon with the body of a goat with a single horn on its forehead1. It is also written that should anyone succeed in killing Bai Ze, they would be struck down by a bolt of lightning.

In addition to the above, another reason Bai Ze is revered is that it is said Bai Ze knows the name and appearance of all living beings, in all the realms, can communicate with all (including humans), and knows how to dispel, exorcise and/or protect against all evil creatures. It is for these reasons that drawings of Bai Ze were often placed on walls and doors to protect the occupants from evil. Images of Bai Ze have also been found on the banners of past armies, and many even practiced sleeping on a pillow that was shaped like a Bai Ze to protect them during the night. Many children have been named Bai Ze throughout history, even to this day.

[2] Nüwa, also read Nügua, is the mother goddess of Chinese mythology. She is credited with creating humanity and repairing the Pillar of Heaven.

[3] Nezha is a protection deity in Chinese folk religion. His official Taoist name is “Marshal of the Central Altar”. He was then given the title “Third Lotus Prince” after he became a deity.

[4] Li Jing, also known as Pagoda-Bearing Heavenly King Li is a figure in Chinese mythology and a god in Chinese folk religion. He carries a tower that can capture any spirit, demon or god within its walls. He also appears in the classic Chinese novels Journey to the West and Fengshen Yanyi (Investiture of the Gods). He is an analogue of Vaisravana.

[5] The Jade Emperor (Yuhuang or Yudi) was considered to be the ruler of Heaven. He was thought to be like a human emperor, in that he ruled over a heavenly court populated by all the important gods of China.

[6] Daode Tianzun (lit. ‘The Heavenly Lord of Dao and its Virtue’), also known as Taishang Laojun (lit. ‘The Supreme Venerable Sovereign’) is a high Taoist god. He is the Taiqing (lit. the Grand Pure One) which is one of the Three Pure Ones, the highest divinities of Taoism.

[7]Imperial Lord Donghua is also known as Lord Dongwang, Father Dongwang, Great Lord Fusang, Imperial Lord Shaoyang, Lord Shaoyang of the Purple Residence. During the reign of Emperor Shizu of the Yuan dynasty, the deity was bestowed the title, ‘Lord Shaoyang of the Donghua Purple Residence’. A Taoist document titled Precious Penance of the Everlasting Great Taoist Lord Donghua addressed the deity as ‘The Honoured Lord Shaoyang of the Donghua Ministry’.

[8] The Twenty-Eight Mansions, also called xiu or hsiu, are part of the Chinese constellations system. They can be considered as the equivalent to the zodiacal constellations in Western astronomy, though the Twenty-eight Mansions reflect the movement of the Moon through a sidereal month rather than the Sun in a tropical year.

[9] Leigong (lit. ‘Lord of Thunder’) or Leishen (lit. ‘God of Thunder’), is the god of thunder in Chinese folk religion, Chinese mythology and Taoism. In Taoism, when so ordered by heaven, Leigong punishes both earthly mortals guilty of secret crimes and evil spirits who have used their knowledge of Taoism to harm human beings. He carries a drum and mallet to produce thunder, and a chisel to punish evildoers. Leigong rides a chariot driven by a young boy named A Xiang.

[10] Dianmu (lit. ‘Mother of Lightning’), also known as Leizi, is the Chinese goddess of lightning, who is said to have used flashing mirrors to send bolts of lightning across the sky. She is married to Leigong, the god of thunder.

[11] Feng Po Po, also called Feng Popo or Feng Pho Pho, is the goddess of the wind in Chinese mythology who rules over storms and moisture. She is referred to as “Madame Wind”, and is usually depicted as a crone, old and wrinkled. Feng Po Po can be seen riding through clouds on the back of a tiger which represents courage and bravery signifying her importance in the Chinese mythology. The tiger the goddess rides on is also a symbol of the autumnal season and therefore associated with the Crone stage of life which further ties the tiger to the goddess.

[12] Yue Lao (lit. ‘old man under the moon’) is a god of marriage and love in Chinese mythology. He appears as an old man under the moon.

Yue Lao appears at night and “unites with a silken cord all predestined couples, after which nothing can prevent their union.” He is immortal and is said to live either in the moon or in the “obscure regions” (Yue ming), the Chinese equivalent of Hades. His legends serve as the basis for the Red thread of fate.