To Love You Again - zChapter 617

In the silent VVIP ward of one of the private hospitals owned by the Guan Family, an old man was leaning against the headboard. His face was blank as his mind ran wild.

A soft knock halted his thoughts.

“What is it?”

The old man had clearly said to his head butler to not disrupt his rest at this moment.

“Headmaster, Third Young Master is here.”

Old Guan frowned. He had already told his head butler to not let any of his grandsons know that he was hospitalized.

His head butler might be worried about him due to the doctor’s news, but he had done something unnecessary.

He could not let any of his grandsons know about his current situation. He could not burden them any longer.

Old Guan sighed.

Well, what else could he do? His grandson was already here.

“Let him enter.”

His third grandson who did not resemble any of his two brothers nor him but possessed a very pleasing appearance walked towards Old Guan.

Old Guan spoke hoarsely. “Did the head butler call you here? He did something he should not have.”

Guan Gao Huan’s soft brown eyes smiled with a hint of worry. “No, I called first. He just told me that you are hospitalized after I asked for you. Head butler is only concerned and worried about you.”

He took out one of the folding chairs and sat beside the bed. “How are you feeling, Grandpa?”

Old Guan nodded nonchalantly. “I am fine. My bones are just getting old. Getting hospitalized at my age is nothing uncommon.”

Guan Gao Huan still showed a worried expression. “You should look after your health, Grandpa. What did the doctor say?”

Old Guan looked away. “It’s nothing serious. I just need to rest more.”

Guan Gao Huan’s eyes flashed.

It looked like the old man had no intention of telling any of them about his true situation.

This could be a good thing.

Guan Gao Huan did not push the old man into saying the truth. Instead, he thought of ways on how to open up ‘that’ conversation and ask for the old man’s help.

He silently observed Old Guan. The old man looked dispirited and the dignified air around him was gone. He just looked like a sickly old person.

Seeing that the old man was looking at the window, at the dark blanket of the sky, Guan Gao Huan got an idea.

He stood up.

“Grandpa, you are looking out of the window. Do you wish to see the scenery from here? Since we are on the highest floor, I bet we could see all the city lights. This is close to seeing the city’s version of stars.”

Guan Gao Huan walked towards the window and pulled all the curtains of the floor to ceiling windows to let the old man see the view of the dark night and the city lights below. “When I was hospitalized in another country, my only world was that window. It always sets my mind at ease.”

When his past was mentioned, Old Guan finally looked at Guan Gao Huan. The old man stared at his eyes.

Guan Gao Huan’s heart suddenly skipped a beat.

The old man stared at him, searching through him. The eyes searching him were so intense that Guan Gao Huan doubted if his cover was blown.

The old man opened his mouth.

“…That time… Did you hate me for sending you abroad? Away from your brothers?”

Guan Gao Huan froze. Then his mind suddenly felt relieved. He had thought that this old man discovered that he was a fake.

He shook his head and smiled wearily, like what the true Guan Gao Huan would do.

“I am too young to hate you back then, Grandpa. But when I grew up and became healthy, I always thought of my two brothers and my Grandpa whom I left behind in the country. As well as… my deceased mother.”

Old Guan’s heart stirred at the mention of his only daughter. He looked at the dark sky.

When his beloved deceased daughter was mentioned, he could never look at his third grandson in the eyes.

A part of him was still blaming this grandson of his for being the cause of the accident. His daughter was supposed to be with him, enjoying the afternoon in the garden since he only got to reunite with her when she was in the country. But instead, like a normal parent, she chose to go with her son’s wish to accompany him to the hospital instead of just sending the butlers only.

This wish was very common and any young child from normal families wanted to be accompanied by their parents, especially when going to the doctor, but….

This resulted to the abrupt loss of her daughter’s life.

Old Guan knew that he should not blame an innocent young child for this accident, but the loss of his beloved daughter caused his heart to be frozen with pain.

He could not face nor comfort the youngest grandchild for losing his mother. So when the youngest needed surgery, he sent him abroad alone with the excuse that the technology abroad was more advanced and the change in the environment would help.

In reality, he just did not want to be near to the youngest, or else, he might show his blame to the innocent child.

The Old Guan at that time was still grieving. He just needed some space for a period of time.

However, the young child was weaker than he thought. The little boy suffered under psychological trauma from the accident and did not wake up for a long time after the surgery and spent time in a coma, although the doctor said that there was nothing to worry about.

This made Old Guan extremely worried and at the same time, strangely relieved. With the excuse that the youngest needed to recuperate abroad, he managed to stay away from his youngest for a long time.

Yet this filled him with self-loathing.

He knew that he was lacking and a very cruel grandfather to his third grandson. This was why he toughened his heart and did not favor any of his grandsons, to be fair to the youngest. He did not give any grandfatherly love to any of the three.

He just had to make sure that they lived a good life on their own with his financial support.

But right now… after hearing the grave news from the doctor, hovering between life and death, Old Guan realized that all complicated matters such as the complex feelings and troubling thoughts he had before seemed like a childish tantrum in front of death.

Those things… did not matter anymore.

Old Guan felt like he had been living an empty life all this while.

Why did he live this long? For what reason? He strived to be at the top and maintained the Guan’s family’s glory in all his life.

Yet… He could not give love to his family members.

His daughter… his daughter would surely be mad at him, wouldn’t she?

He was a good father, but a bad grandfather.

“Grandpa…” A cold hand covered his wrinkled hand. “What are you thinking?”

Guan Gao Huan’s soft brown eyes reflected the old man’s figure.

“Your hand is cold.” The old man stirred and used both of his aged hands to warm Guan Gao Huan’s hand.

Guan Gao Huan faintly flinched at the sudden contact.

He did not expect that the usually cold and distant grandfather would suddenly act intimately to his grandson.

His gaze dropped at the wrinkled hands.

The hands of the old man were warm. It was scorching him. He preferred to be in the cold.

Guan Gao Huan suddenly felt uncomfortable, but none of it showed on his face. He tried to look worried as much as possible.

Despite his efforts, the old man could feel that the hand he was holding turned stiff.

The old man’s frozen heart that was surrounded by walls stirred once more. He felt bad for the grandson whom he had pushed away.

Now, even a slight contact made his grandson uncomfortable.

Old Guan looked at his grandson’s worried face.

Whenever he looked at this face, he always felt uncomfortable. As if something was not right.

Now, looking at it again, he finally knew what it was that had bothered him. His grandson’s expression and what his grandson really felt were entirely different.

There was a mask on his face.

Why did his grandson need to do that?

Was it because he had pushed him away that his grandson needed to act filial to him, in order to not be pushed away again?

The old man’s heart was bitter.

“Gao Huan… You don’t need to act filial to me. You don’t need to put a mask.”

Guan Gao Huan froze.

What?

Don’t put a… mask?

Did the old man figure out something? Was he suspicious of him?

Guan Gao Huan’s heart thumped hard.

The old man c.a.r.e.s.sed the cold hand. “I know that I have been very unfair to you compared to your brothers. You can resent me. I allow you to.”

Guan Gao Huan: “…”

The room was silent.

Old Guan could not look at his grandson’s eyes nor ask for his forgiveness. Instead, he looked at the dark night on the other side of the window. Since his grandson was not planning to answer him, he did not push him to answer.

“You said that the ‘window’ was your only world. Can you tell me exactly what had put your mind at ease when you looked out of the window and saw the dark sky?”

Guan Gao Huan recovered. His heart calmed down as well. He did not know why this old man was being like this.

Was he regretting things before dying?

Funny, he thought.

Guan Gao Huan looked at the dark sky.

What made his mind at ease when looking at the dark sky?

He could not think as Guan Gao Huan did, since Guan Gao Huan had never woken up from his coma in the first place.

But in ‘that’ place…

When he was looking at the dark sky that expanded endlessly, covering the whole sky, his hunger, his pain, and his sadness would go away for a moment.

The only thing left to him was amazement.

What were those little lights called again? How did the sky turn dark then become bright?

Was there an ending to the dark blanket up in the sky?

Could he… go up there, lift the dark blanket, and control the lights at will?

Those childish thoughts from long ago would often make him forget his own circ.u.mstances for a short moment in those times.

“Back then, when I looked at the sky, my mind was always filled with thoughts that made me forget everything else.”

Old Guan could hear the sincerity in his grandson’s voice.

He turned to look at Guan Gao Huan who was looking at the sky.

His grandson’s face was cold, indifferent, and had a sense of melancholy. He was distant and seemed about to disappear from the air.

So this was his true face….

His grandson’s true expression…

Old Guan lightly smiled. “Is that so? I am glad that you answered me sincerely this time.”