To You Who Will Kill Me - Chapter 2.2

Whether he did it or not, Scarlett was projecting the villain in her dreams onto him. Her slender shoulders were trembling as if she was experiencing something painful. Noah hugged her tightly until she calmed down.

As he held her in his arms, Scarlett wept for a long time. Every teardrop filled him with an indescribable feeling.

The fact that he could be a haven for someone so small and fragile, was satisfying, gratifying, and exhilarating.

Suddenly, Noah had an incomprehensible desire to have Scarlett tamed like this, to keep her completely dependent on him until he was the only one she trusted. Then, Wilhelm would become meaningless to Scarlett.

“Is it you, Noah?” Scarlett asked in a rather timid and hoarse voice.

“Yes, it’s me.”

In this vast world, they only had each other at that moment. At least that’s how it felt to Noah, which made him want to hold her more tightly.

He concluded that ‘I am starving for familial affection’ to be the cause of his dark, twisted feelings.

All the pity, compassion, and guilt he felt towards her had twisted his sense of sibling bond. Therefore, he believed it didn’t mean anything special.

“Don’t worry, I’m okay now.”

“Do you have nightmares often?”

“…Did you hear me talking in my sleep?”

“Yes.”

“What did I say?”

“…Save me please…  And you were calling for Isaac.”

Unable to breath, Scarlett stiffened and escaped Noah’s arms before her swirling emotions could overwhelm her. Then she turned away, fixing her expression before speaking again.

“Let’s go. It’s time for the club meeting.”

“Wouldn’t it be better for you to go home early and rest for the remainder of the day?”

“No, I want to draw.”

Noah had recently learned about Scarlett’s love for art. Although she had very little interest in studying, she did enjoy painting and observing nature.

Scarlett once said she found beauty in the swaying wildflowers, and she seemed to find nature peaceful.

Which is why he accompanied Scarlett to the club room without further dissuasion.

There they ran into Wilhelm while collecting their easels. However, Scarlett and Wilhelm ignored each other, and went their separate ways without saying a word.

“Let’s draw here.”

After she found an empty classroom, Scarlett picked up her pencil, and said she would draw Noah this time. She seemed accustomed to holding a pencil, her hand moving along the canvas with ease.

The autumn wind blew through the slightly open window, causing Scarlett’s hair to flutter around her face. However, it seemed to bother her since she took out a hair tie and used it to pull her hair into a high ponytail.

Small red curls, resembling passion and fire, framed her face. Noah found himself unable to look away.

Her neck and collarbone were exposed, revealing her beautiful pale skin. Her ash-gray eyes were a mixture of darkness and pain.

Noah felt a sense of pity as he watched Scarlet. She seemed strangely unfamiliar.

‘Is she really my sister?’

“Keep still and straighten your posture.”

“Oh…sure.”

Noah tried his best to fix his posture, but whether it was due to his residual intense emotions or his unfamiliarity with being the subject of a portrait, his body was very stiff.

Scarlett couldn’t believe how awkward and ridiculous he looked as he sat in the chair and burst into laughter.

“Hahaha.”

As a result, the tension on her face disappeared, and a different side of Scarlett White was seen.

When a faint set of dimples appeared on her cheeks, her icy demeanor melted, revealing a mischievous expression. Her eyes, which had curved into the shape of crescent moons, were cheerful and her laughter was contagious.

Noah was at a loss for words. He never thought he would ever see this side of Scarlett.

The sound of her loud laughter was enough to make his chest tighten and absence of the melancholy that usually enveloped Scarlett seemed to be the reason.

‘I want you to laugh like this every day.’

With a broad smile, her eyes slightly closed, and her cheeks flushed, just as they were now.

“You are so stupid.”

“Oh, yeah?”

Noah deliberately posed more foolishly than before, and Scarlett giggled while clutching her stomach.

Her laughter was like the sun, warming everything in its path, including Noah’s heart.

“I always found you to be really boring and uninteresting, but you seem to have a surprisingly fun side.”

“You too.”

“You think I’m annoying and selfish, don’t you? I can already tell, you don’t even have to say it.”

“That’s not true. I….”

‘I think you’re very pretty.’ Noah swallowed the words of his heart.

“I’m happy that you’re my little sister.”

‘Why does my heart ache whenever I say the word ‘sister’?’

Noah couldn’t decide if his feelings were due to his sense of responsibility for her well-being as an older brother, or because she seemed more affectionate and pitiful.

“Really?”

Scarlett arranged her blanket with a hint of discomfort. She didn’t see Noah as her brother. In her eyes, Noah was still the target of her revenge, and an enemy she had to defeat.

Despite this, she felt a sense of closeness to him. Noah had become a comfort in her life and before she realized it, she found herself relying on him. Even her desire for revenge had ebbed a bit.

And that terrified her.

Scarlett corrected Noah’s pose with a stern tone and continued to draw his portrait in a businesslike manner.

Noah noticed her change in demeanor and bit his lip. When he realized Scarlett was simply avoiding his gaze, he knew his words had made her uncomfortable.

Which made him feel miserable. He couldn’t understand why the subtle way she avoided meeting his gaze bothered him when it was a trivial act that he ignored in the past.

“I apologize if my words made you uncomfortable earlier.”

“You’re free to say whatever you want,” Scarlett said with a cold expression.

“Even if I don’t like it, we’re still siblings. After all, we share the same father, right?”

Suddenly, a rope made of sorrow, grief, and disappointment tightened around his heart.

Noah crumpled up the newspaper he was using as a prop. His mouth went dry, and his chest tightened.

He felt like crying.

He wanted to scream and didn’t understand why.

‘Why do I feel this way?!’ 

He wanted to know what made her act this way.

So, he decided to be a bit mischievous and bully Scarlett.

“Scarlett.”

“What?”

“Do you like Wilhelm?”

Scarlett grimaced.

“Why are you asking that?”

“I was just curious.”

“It’s none of your business.”

“I can help you reconcile with Wilhelm if you want.”

Noah stared at Scarlett, growing more nervous as he waited for her answer.

“I don’t need it.”

The corners of Noah’s lips twitched slightly as he struggled to hold back his laughter.

“Then, why did you ask him to date you?”

Scarlet put down her pencil and glared at Noah. She seemed a little angry, but soon her lips curved into a smile.

“Are you trying to play the role of an older brother?”

“No, that’s not what I meant.”

Scarlett was the one with the power to drive a wedge in their relationship at any time. She had control over the conflict and distance between the two. Noah had no choice but to concede to Scarlett every time.

“Then, why are you asking me these types of questions?”

“…curiosity?”

“Ha. I’m speechless.”

Scarlett resumed drawing, her gaze alternating between the canvas and Noah.

“Do you and I have a close relationship? Are you the older brother who raised me and changed my diapers? If not, don’t question me. I’m not going to tell you.”

Scarlett said that to him in a fierce tone of voice, but she didn’t appear to have any intention of hurting him. He found the way she was nagging very feminine, that’s why he chuckled while apologizing.

“Okay, I’m sorry.”

“You seem to apologize for everything. It’s always, ‘I’m sorry, I’ll be careful’ or ‘I’m so sorry’. Don’t be such a bore.”

After dramatically expressing her feelings, Scarlett kept quiet and picked up her pencil.

While drawing, Scarlett became more serious than usual. She drew her lines carefully, and one could see that she genuinely enjoyed drawing just from the way she was looking at the paper.

The sight of Scarlett focusing on her passion was more beautiful than a flower in full bloom. He loved seeing the spark in her eyes and the way her brows furrowed as she measured the proportions with her pencil.

“Noah.”

“Yes?”

“If you’re having a hard time staying still, can you at least read the newspaper to me?”

“Do you mind if I move?”

“You can lower your head slightly, but only move your eyes when reading.”

It was a very demanding request, but Noah happily accepted it.

Surprisingly, Scarlett read the newspaper often. Perhaps it was due to her family’s involvement in the political and business world. Noah quickly skimmed through the newspaper and summarized the contents.

“There is another civil war in Natalia. The army of Viktor Rebezef, the leader of the aristocratic faction, clashed with the wizards of Mastop, resulting in the death of four magicians and fifteen soldiers.”

“That country has seen constant conflict for nearly twenty years.”

“Also, Viktor Rebezef is missing. Although he is only 46 years old, he was supposed to retire due to his decrepit health. It is assumed that he perished in the explosions caused by the wizards.”

Scarlett grimaced at the word ‘explosions’. She trembled as if the mere thought terrified her.

“If I were Viktor Rebezef, I would have executed the wizards the last time I captured them. They were only able to escape because they were sentenced to life in prison in accordance with the law.”

“He’s a very rational person. There must have been a reason behind his decision.”

“His reason holds no value. The wizards rebelled and tyrannized the people for ten years. They also killed Viktor Rebezef’s best friend. Viktor is a truly admirable person for his part in liberating the slaves, but he seems to be old-fashioned.”

Scarlett clicked her tongue out of frustration.

“Can you raise your head a little more? Yes, that’s perfect. Also, I had enough international news. How are things in our country?”

“There’s a possible epidemic outside the capital. It is accompanied by a high fever…”

Scarlett dropped the pencil and her face turned white as a sheet. She wrung her hands and pursed her lips, the pencil on the floor was the least of her concerns.

At first, Noah thought Scarlett was worried about her weak immunity, but her expression wasn’t that of fear, but terror.

“Scarlett?”

“I…I need to go home… Not to the villa, but the main residence. Abigail… Oh my god! It’s already time…”

Her hurried movements caused the easel to fall sideways, and a loud thud rang out in the empty classroom.

Scarlett covered her ears, but then she suddenly grabbed her chest and fell to her knees. Noah swiftly brought her medicine.

“Ugh. Ugh.”

Thump. Thump.

Scarlett pounded her chest and grabbed Noah’s arm. Although the drug had calmed her breathing, it did not quell her fear. She tightened her grip, her pale fingers digging into his arm.

“I have to go home.”

“What’s wrong? Let’s go outside first.”

“No… No. I…you… I need to go back home first. I won’t be coming to school for a while.”

“Are you sick? Is there something wrong?”

“I need to go back home. Abigail is in danger… How! How could I have forgotten about Abigail!”

“I will accompany you.”

“No, no. I’m going alone. I have to go alone. Alone…”

Scarlett left the room in a hurry, leaving Noah behind. He watched from afar as she disappeared through the open door. The autumn breeze coming through the window made him feel more lonesome than usual.

Noah was reaching down to pick up the fallen pencil when his eyes fell on the torn canvas lying on the floor. He smiled; his expression full of affection as if he was admiring something lovely.

Scarlett had drawn a picture of him reading the newspaper. Unlike him, she was quite talented. However, it felt strange that there was evidence of the time they spent together.

As his fingertip carefully swept across her skillful drawing, Noah finally realized something.

‘My feelings for Scarlett are wrong.’ 

Noah placed a hand on his chest, directly over his racing heart.

‘Maybe it’s for the best that Scarlett doesn’t appear at Iodes for a while.’

A dark feeling lingered beneath his hand, and it was slowly suffocating him.

His hands were trembling. Noah knew his feelings weren’t normal, but he couldn’t control himself.

Perhaps the reason he felt overwhelmed and burdened was because these emotions shouldn’t exist within him, but poisonous flowers always exude a sweet scent.

Like a forbidden fruit.

Scarlett’s hair resembled an apple. It was so luscious, red, and smelled sweet.

Therefore, Noah ran away from those dark feelings that sprouted when Scarlett left to protect her family. Noah knew the moment he allowed himself to be engulfed in that darkness, he would never be able to escape again.

***