Too Broke For Afterlife - Chapter 139

She’s done. She’s fucking over it. Fucking bullshit. Jinkx kicks open the door, rips the key out of the keyhole and steps into her apartment. Fuck it. Fuck everything. The brown fur coat slides down her shoulders and falls onto the ground. Whatever. The door falls shut behind her and Jinkx locks it before turning around and stomping down the hallway. Normally tears would be blocking her vision, causing her to lose balance and she would bump into the red commode decorated with golden picture frames and random junk that has no real home in this apartment and travels like vagabonds from one wooden surface to another. Who knows how often she has already bumped into the edge of this exact red commode because of tear blocked vision and woken up with a bruise on her left hip the morning after.

But today is different.

Jinkx doesn’t feel like crying. Once she enters the living room, she kicks off her heels. One lands next to a flower pot decorated with mosaic stones, the other one disappears beneath the opulent lavender sofa. After walking over to the kitchen area, Jinkx leans against one of the black counters, trying to calm down her breathing. Slowly she takes the oxygen in through her nose, lets it travel to the bottom of her lungs and then presses the excess air out through her mouth. The last conversation with her boyfriend replays in her head. Normally this is the point where she would decide that either

a) he was mainly right and she overreacted or

b) he was mainly wrong and she has every right to be pissed.

But today is different.

She is lost. Her normally well organized brain is telling her that she needs to sleep on it before she can figure out and analyze what had just went down. Jinkx hates doing that. It just means that the whole issue will stay in her system longer than necessary. She opens the refrigerator and pulls out a bottle of red wine. Just one glass before going to sleep. Normally she’d pull out one of her fancy wine glasses, the ones out of light blue crystal with golden ornaments around the rim. The ones she had gotten from her aunt. But again.

Today is different.

Guilt is hindering her. She doesn’t feel deserving tonight so Jinkx chooses a run-of-the-mill wine glass from IKEA and pours in the glistening liquid. With the glass in her hand Jinkx opens the door to her small balcony and steps out into the cold air. Her free hand holds onto the railing and while she is sipping her wine, she lets her eyes wander around the almost empty street. Cars are driving by but she only spots a few people. She turns around and takes a look at the golden pendulum clock hanging on the other side of the room. 11:40pm. God, what an ugly piece of furniture. Even for Jinkx with her overly eccentric love for antiques with questionable color combinations this clock is too dated. But when she had seen it in one of her favorite vintage stores down the road, she wasn’t able to take her eyes off of it. It had spoken to her. And Jinkx had listened.

A woman is walking her labrador, persumably talking on her phone. Another lazy sip and her eyes continue to glide over the sidewalk, the street and the apartment blocks on the other side while the cold air travels through her nose and fills up her body. It’s the same view as every night. On a good day she’d describe it as consisent, on a bad one as boring. Her mind trails off. All the bad things that have happened lately, all the negative sources of energy that have been clogging her heart are now melting into each other and rolling down the hill like a giant boulder, picking up speed, faster and faster and Jinkx is just standing there, unable to move, waiting for it to smash her and rip off her head. Shit. She tries to shake it off and starts counting the cars as a distraction. Her naked feet are tingling in the icy breeze and she uncomfortably concentrates her body’s weight on the left leg first before switching to the right, unable to stand still. But then her eyes get stuck on the bus stop like flies on honey. A person is sitting on the bench, a big bag next to them. Jinkx squints her eyes. It looks like a teenager but she could be wrong. Something about her sitting there gives Jinkx a weird feeling and it doesn’t take long for her to figure out where it’s coming from. There aren’t any busses around this time. Does the person know that? Are they even waiting on a bus? Or maybe they are meeting with someone? Normally Jinkx would either

a) overthink the situation and come up with 23 different scenarios of why that person is sitting there until she starts panicking or

b) scratch her head, turn around and get ready for bed.

But today is different.

Something cold wraps itself around her heart. Without her even realizing, Jinkx puts her shoes back on and picks up her coat. Her feet carry her down the stairs as if she had put them on auto pilot. Only once she steps through the big entrance door and into Seattle’s night, Jinkx realizes what she is doing. What now? She can’t just go over there and ask that stranger why they are sitting there. It’s none of her business. Right? After thinking for a few seconds and almost being ready to head back inside again, Jinkx takes a deep breath and starts walking down the sidewalk towards the bus stop, trying to organize her thoughts. The cold air is licking her legs roughly and the faux fur tickles her neck. A man walks past her, obviously checking her out and he lets out a whistle. But of course she doesn’t turn around. She’s not a dog. Once Jinkx reaches the bus stop, her feet slow down. She takes a closer look at the girl who is sitting there, head leaning against the plexiglass and one hand on the big travel bag next to her. She seems to be around 15 or 16 and is wearing a light brown leather jacket. Her dark hair, ending slightly above her shoulders, is shyly dancing in the wind. She’s shivering. Jinkx clears her throat. “Are you waiting on a bus?” The girl flinches and looks up. Tired eyes examine Jinkx’ face. “I…” She turns away. The girl is clearly uncomfortable. “I think the last bus stops here at around 9:30 every night. You’ll have to wait until tomorrow I’m afraid.” Jinkx lets out a small laugh to test the waters but the girl doesn’t giver her a reaction. “I’m…I’m waiting on a friend.” Jinkx sighs. She doesn’t believe her. Jinkx would say that she is very good at reading people and can smell a lie from 10 miles away, even when she doesn’t know the person. This girl isn’t waiting on anyone. She looks down at herself to straighten her dress and realizes that she is still holding the half empty glass of wine. Way to look like an idiot. She is surprised at how soft and quiet her voice leaves her mouth. “Are you sure, darling? Do you need me to call you a cab?” The girl shakes her head and looks down at her hands. Jinkx doesn’t know what to do. She can’t just leave the girl here. She looks around in despair and notices that the man who whisteled at her earlier is still standing there, staring in her direction. Creep. “I don’t think sleeping outside is a good idea. It’s actually quite dangerous.” “I’m not sleeping here. I’m waiting for a friend to pick me up.” The voice of the girl cracks and although Jinkx can’t see her face, she can hear the tears getting stuck in her throat. “I don’t believe that. Please let me call you a cab.” The girl shakes her head again. “No.” “Why not?” She swallows down a sob but the girl tries to shake it off. “I don’t have anywhere to go right now. That’s all. But it’s okay. I’ll figure something out.” “Why? Did you get kicked out or something?” She shakes her head again and Jinkx lets out another soft sigh. God, what is she doing here? “Look, I know that you don’t know me and that you have no reason to trust me but believe me when I tell you that staying here is not safe. Especially not for a young woman like you.” The girl looks up but as soon as their eyes meet, her head turns away. Jinkx wants to stop herself, she wants to head back inside and leave the girl alone but the words fall out of her mouth. “If you really don’t know where to go…I guess…you could stay on my couch for the night. I live only a few feet away from here.” Jinkx can’t believe what she is saying. Did she really just offer a complete stranger to stay at her place? What is wrong with her? “I don’t know you.” The girl finally manages to look into her face. She doesn’t seem convinced. Her eyebrows are furrowed.. “Hi, I’m Jinkx.”