Transmigrated into a Female-Oriented Card Game - Chapter 339
The first thing that came to mind when Garuel heard those words was not the naïve sentiment of being overwhelmed by the paternal love of a faceless father.
If he had descended to the Demon Realm through his father’s pleas and grown up with only one father, wouldn’t he have been able to live without suffering, never daring to dream of helping humans, never deciding to worship the Gods, never hiding his identity, never resenting the power he had, just accepting it all and being normal? He could have lived in harmony with his surroundings, without betraying anyone, without disappointing anyone.
Yes, he was disappointed. The moment he realized the faint regret in his heart, he felt an unbearable revulsion, even more so than when he first discovered his demonic powers.
The idea of saving people? The cause of world peace? There was no such thing from the beginning. This lowly, insignificant hybrid just wanted to belong, to feel comfortable. That was the reason for all the anguish, guilt, and boredom that had plagued him up until now.
He was afraid if Cadel, the man he had hoped would set him on the right path, the man who had always overrated him, would see through this, would recognize the disgusting feelings he harbored. Garuel couldn’t handle the disappointment and pity he would feel.
So he couldn’t let Cadel get close to the very essence of Garuel Monzasi.
“Garuel! What are you doing?!”
He must not allow Lawrence to talk about his parents in front of Cadel. Garuel interrupted the healing spell he had been preparing with only that one thought in mind. Quickly drawing his sword, he unleashed a blast of concentrated light mana. Lawrence returned the attack with an unpleasant chuckle.
“Garuel!”
Cadel was stunned by Garuel’s sudden change in demeanor. The calmness with which he had endured Lawrence’s attacks and deployed his healing techniques a moment ago was nowhere to be seen. Beneath the mask, his face contorted into an unhinged devil, and it was hard to believe he was the same smirking man Cadel had known.
“What on earth are you doing this for, Garuel?! Even if your identity is revealed right away, there will be no harm!”
Cadel continued to call his name, trying to calm him down, but to no avail. Garuel swung his sword frantically, as if he couldn’t hear anything, and unleashed a blast of demonic energy. Garuel’s mask began to crack as the razor-sharp demonic energy enveloped his half-body.
He struck at Lawrence, who staggered as if mocking him, without the slightest calculation as to whether his attack would work or not. If he could just shut him up now, he could wield his sword for the rest of his life. He was desperate, like a child hiding a wrong that shouldn’t be found out.
Cadel tried to calmly talk him down, defending Lawrence’s attacks on Garuel in between, but Garuel’s sudden actions threw the plan off-kilter, and soon the repercussions were too much to bear.
“Commander Cadel! Hurry up!”
Cadel’s gaze shifted at Ector’s shout echoing across the battlefield.
“This is crazy……!”
He and Ector’s tactics were designed to turn the tide of victory in their favor, and the plan was based on Garuel’s area healing. The longer the healing was delayed, the more the plan would be compromised.
“Escort the magicians!”
The magicians, who had been disarming the summoning circle behind the barrier, were nowhere to be seen. Ashvka, now whole again, unleashed a massive wave of energy-sucking insects that engulfed the summoning party. Beneath the high pile of energy-sucking insects, the magicians’ tearing screams could be heard.
The knights followed Ector’s orders, slashing at the energy-sucking insects with their swords, but it was no use, for Ashvka, who had moved, began to crush them.
Cadel peered through the thick layer of dark mana, searching for his subordinates. Van, Lumen, and Yozen were in different places, slashing at the endless swarms of insects, while Lydon created a vortex of cold air from above, freezing them in their tracks. All seemed unharmed, but it was clear that they were growing weary of the pointless defense.
‘If we can’t kill Ashvka, annihilation is only a matter of time.’
To prevent defeat, they needed to heal their exhausted allies so they could charge at will. Like Ashvka, who could regenerate indefinitely under the healing field.
But it was doubtful the others would be able to hold out while Garuel regained his senses. It would be better to have Garuel keep Lawrence in check, while the rest of the group took care of Ashvka’s restraints and offense.
‘I don’t know what’s got Garuel so worked up, but even if Lawrence reveals his identity to our allies here, it won’t interfere with the battle if we dismiss it as a distraction.’
No man would be so brave as to dismiss the healer who had given them their lives in the first place, nowhere else but in the middle of the battlefield.
It was at this point that Cadel gave up on persuasion and considered a change of tactics.
“Battalion Captain Dreyfe!”
The desperate cries of the knights assaulted his ears. Only then did Cadel shift his gaze to Ashvka’s front. And there, lifted into the air by the whirlwind created by the bloodsuckers, was Dreyfe.
“Dreyfe!”
Ector spotted Dreyfe before Cadel did, and became contemplative, sending out a sword blast, but the bloodsuckers deftly dodged, rising higher and higher. Trapped in the vortex, Dreyfe lay limp, unconscious, and unable to move.
Cadel darted out of the dark mana and called to Lydon.
“Put Dreyfe down, Lydon!”
Lydon recognized Cadel’s voice instantly, even through the noise, and flew after Dreyfe.
“This fight is making me feel like a sweeper coming to exterminate insects…….”
Spotting the bloodsuckers holding Dreyfe, he reached out. With a short chant, a translucent blue circle of magic formed in his palm. As the circle glowed, an explosive blast of blizzard erupted from within.
The sharp blizzard of ice crystals pierced through the bloodsuckers, weakening their spinning power. The vortex loosened slightly, and Dreyfe’s body began to slide down, then began to plummet beneath the disintegrating vortex.
Cadel generated wind to slow Dreyfe’s fall, then created a barrier to envelope him. As Cadel rushed to Dreyfe, Ector, who had been fidgeting uneasily, began to reorganize his disorganized formation.
“The, the battalion captain’s condition is…….”
Cadel arrived, his brow furrowed as he checked Dreyfe’s condition. He was disfigured over a large portion of his body. He’d pushed himself to the front to encourage his subordinates. Staring at the disfigurement, blackened in places, Cadel clenched his fists.
“Get Sir Dreyfe to the rear.”
He felt a flash of anger. Not because Dreyfe, whom he’d always considered a cute younger brother, was lying there looking like a corpse, nor because the tactics he’d planned had gone awry, with the prospect of multiple casualties.
It was Garuel, the self-loathing that he hadn’t been able to let go of, that was still eating away at him, and the anger at Lawrence for trying to take away the hope that the pitiful man had barely clutched onto.
He lifted his eyelids as if he were pressing down on something, and his eyes sank even further, revealing a chill.
Cadel’s steps were unimpeded. The swarms of insects that swarmed his vision were pushed back by the blast of heat generated by Cadel’s gesture, and the mana that exploded from his back like a grenade obliterated everything in its path.
Amplifying the amount of dark mana he had unleashed, he stepped beyond the swarms of insects into a darkened area of the battlefield.
There was Garuel. Garuel’s unhealed wounds blossomed like red poisonous vines as he lunged for the enemy. He looked like he was going to go mad if he didn’t kill Lawrence right away, his mask hanging clumsily from his face like it could crack at any moment. Even with Lawrence’s hollow whispers, he swayed ferociously like a tinderbox fire.
Cadel’s gaze locked on the precarious figure, and he hurled a [Fire Chains] at Lawrence. The flaming chain wrapped around Lawrence’s entire body, knocking him outward.
Lawrence’s face crumpled as he hesitated, trying to break the chain in one swift motion. The chains contained mana several times the amount of the first one. Lawrence hurriedly gathered his energy as the chains quickly choked him.
In the meantime, Cadel held Garuel back as he tried to run after Lawrence.
“Let go of me, Knight Commander.”
Despite the firm grip on his shoulder, Garuel braced himself to break free at a moment’s notice. He didn’t even look at Cadel, but his eyes flashed with a vicious killing intent.
“Enough. Are you not even listening to my orders anymore?”
“I have to kill him here. You don’t understand, Knight Commander. You don’t understand what I’m feeling right now, and you never will, so let go.”
No one could ever understand the feeling of not belonging anywhere, of desperately wanting to belong somewhere. Any loner would have some sense of belonging to his own kind, but not him. No one would accept him for who he was.
He realized that he was a love-starved man who would do anything for that shallow sense of belonging, even plunge into the Demon Realm. Even Cadel would be disgusted with his conceit.
That was when Garuel thought to himself.
“Get your sh*t together.”
A dull jolt to the right cheek, the mask hanging loosely from his face, and Garuel stopped in his tracks. His gaze slowly returned to Cadel’s, his face as cold as ever.
“The words you need to hear, the beliefs you need to believe, they’re all with me.”
Garuel stared back at him, his fist tightening against his cheek. There was no hesitation, no falsehood in those unwavering ash-colored eyes. Garuel’s own eyes glowed slightly as he met his gaze.
“And I will always be by your side, whether you’re fighting your own battles, ignoring the orders of your commander, as you are now, or swayed by Lawrence’s crap.”
“…….”
“I’ll be by your side until the end, so you won’t be alone until the very end. Do you understand?”
Suddenly, every muscle in his body went rigid. His heart pounded like it was failing, and the fear and anger that had been so intense blurred into a dull, white-hot blur.
It was the wrong thing to do. Especially now, at this moment, when he was in such pain. Cadel’s heartfelt confession was so shocking and troubling that he couldn’t bring himself to offer even a half-hearted response.
“Look at me if you understand! If you can afford to pay attention to him, pay attention to me! Make it clear who you’re supposed to trust.”
It was stupid. He shouldn’t have acted like this. Cadel was offering the hem of his shirt for a man who had lost his footing and was falling. Not realizing how hard it would be, not realizing how unprepared he was to be the recipient of his own grim, obsessive love.
“Look at me, Garuel, I’m not going to betray you no matter what, and I’m still going to be with you even if you’re a demon and not a half-demon, so…….”
Cadel slowly stroked his unbruised cheek with the back of his swollen hand. It was a touch so tender Garuel wanted to cling to it, so painful he wanted to cry.
“Fight for me. I’ll be your meaning.”
His love should torment Cadel. But he only knew how to pour it out, and Cadel gently urged him to do so. The emotion that rushed through him at this moment was anguished joy.
“No matter what you doubt, no matter what you’re tormented by, you’ll be okay as long as I’m here. Fight to keep me from falling.”
No words of refusal escaped his closed mouth. The meaning of his life that he would never abandon. If only that person would swear to be that meaning.
「Knight ‘Garuel Monzasi’ ’s favorability has increased by 6.」
「Current favorability: 93/100」
“……I’m sorry, Knight Commander. There’s nothing charming about a man who’s self-centered, is there?”
“I don’t care if that face is charming or not.”
He knew a few words wouldn’t melt away Garuel’s long-standing pain. But Cadel believed that Garuel’s clear eyes, devoid of dark hatred, and bright smile, devoid of malice, were the real him. So Cadel’s job was to remind him, again and again, not to lose himself.
“The mask is…….”
Garuel frowned as he picked up the tattered mask from the ground. Carefully placing the mask on, he turned his masked gaze to Cadel.
“No one here has the presence of mind to look into your face. You can take it off if you’re uncomfortable.”
“No, I won’t. I don’t want to do anything to embarrass you any more than I already have, especially now that I’m in the right frame of mind.”
The return of reason sent a cold chill down his spine. Right. A damned sense of belonging, with Cadel by his side. He’d promised to stay, and Garuel could count on that. So no matter what Lawrence said, no matter what his own birth story was, it was probably fine now.
What he had to live with was the dazzling end of life that would arrive with Cadel. In anticipation of the euphoria he would feel then, Garuel channeled his demonic energy.
“Please restrain Lawrence for a little longer, Knight Commander.”
“Not for long.”
It was already taking a considerable amount of mana to keep Lawrence bound. Cadel couldn’t afford to waste any more mana if he wanted to kill Ashvka. As if aware of this, Garuel quickly increased the amount of demonic energy he was using.
“Don’t you realize it’s useless, Garuel, no one will ever recognize you! Don’t you realize that everything in this world is against you, from the moment I refused to accept you in Lewin’s arms, to the reason Lewin had no choice but to bring you to me, everything!”
Lawrence’s venomous words came from far away. But Garuel was unmoved. He didn’t even need Cadel to shut Lawrence’s mouth; his blade flowed with pure demonic energy.
And the moment the blackened blade emitted a low resonant sound. Grasping the blade with both hands, Garuel dropped to one knee and plunged the blade deep into the ground.
An explosion of demonic energy centered on the blade and began to soak the ground. Silent and swift, Garuel’s demonic energy covered the scattered remains of blood and fallen humans.
Humans who stepped into his demonic energy regenerated their shriveled skin and restored their depleted energy. Garuel’s healing powers awakened even the unconscious wounded, quickly replenishing the power of his allies.
[Land of Eternal Life].
His energy swept across the land, delicate and gentle as a wildflower in a green meadow. Garuel’s energy was so warm that it was a waste to cover it with dark mana to conceal his identity.
Cadel wanted to show them all, this warm healing they had just received, belonged to Garuel Monzasi and no one else. It was the kindness of a man who was more righteous than anyone else in this world, a man who spent his life saving people and yet was tormented by guilt because he had demon blood. Someday, in the distant future, he would be able to say with pride.
“……Thank you, Garuel.”
Though inaudible to Garuel, who was concentrating on deploying his healing technique. Cadel thanked him for getting back up again and again after falling so many times. He turned to Lawrence, increasing the power of the [Fire Chains].
“The humans can’t handle Garuel. My killing Garuel here is my nephew’s only chance at an honorable death, and your inability to see that is proof that you will end up ruining his life!”
He looked into Lawrence’s eyes. Unlike Garuel’s, the whites of both pupils were blackened. Nothing in them resembled Garuel. No wonder. He and Garuel were different from the very core.
He would never be able to care for his own gluttonous roots, never be able to think about what it means to fight the right war to save someone.
“Garuel doesn’t need your kind of honor. All he wants is a life full of pride. A man like you has no idea what true pride is, and that’s why you’ll only die as someone’s enemy.”
Cadel snapped back, his gaze fixed on Lawrence, took a few steps back, and then called out.
“Van, Lumen, Lydon! Tie him up!”