Trapped In Hisstory - Chapter 185

If it was Charles right now instead of him, would Charles be able to comfort him better than he could? Or rather, if it was Charles and not him, would the two of them even talk to each other?

‘I do not think so. For whatever reason Charles had, I get the feeling that he would forever let their relationship be as distant.’ he thought.

But having only the ability to comfort him without knowing anything was difficult. Perhaps he could have done an even better job if he knew what happened.

‘Would it have been better if I had Charles’ memories?’

Maybe yes, perhaps not.

“I know…it will be hard for you to forgive me.” Chance said and Clayton stayed silent. “But I am still hoping that we will get closer slowly, as days go by.”

His hand on my back tightened its grip on my clothes, “If you had the slightest of the pain I have right now…” he muttered, “If you were in my place and I said those to you, I wonder how you would answer.” he added and let out a snort.

Chance did not answer, it was true. If he was Clayton, it would be hard for him too if he had experienced whatever Clayton had back then.

Chance’s lips parted, hesitating to say anything. The other prince pulled away and wiped his tears while looking in the opposite direction from his brother.

He tried. Although it was not a huge step closer to Clayton, at least it was still a step. It might not be the perfect time for him to continue the conversation, having seen Clayton’s state right now.

He swallowed the lump in his throat and stood up. He will try again, tomorrow, the next day after that, and another day until their relationship gets better.

“Once again, I apologize. I know it is hard for you so I will leave for now.” Chance said and Clayton did not react nor look at him. Chance bowed slightly, “Thank you.”

The Crown Prince turned around and looked at Alec to signal that they would be leaving.

“I…”

Chance stopped when he heard the Second Prince speak.

“I will try,” Clayton muttered, Making Chance slowly turn his head to him. “I will try to forgive you.”

Chance was in a daze as he stared at Clayton who was not meeting his eyes. He wanted to convince himself that what he heard really came from the mouth of his brother.

It must be from his imagination, but he saw Charles behind the sofa, standing across him. A tear dropped from Chance’s eyes, perhaps it was Charles’ tears, two of them sharing the feeling.

‘Charles, you have been given a chance.’

Charles bowed his head, thanking him. He turned around and disappeared. Chance took a step closer to Clayton, “Clay…”

Clayton looked up to him and clicked his tongue, annoyed by the expression “Do not look at me that way.” he said. “I will not forgive you right now, it is just…I will try.”

“Besides you said it yourself, right? You will try every day. Let us see if…we can make it happen.”

There was an inexplicable joy coming from inside Chance’s chest, even though he was not the one who was forgiven, he still felt happy. He felt as if he was the one who did the mistake and relief flushed through him when Clayton said that he will try to forgive him.

“It must have been hard…” Chance muttered.

Clayton looked down, avoiding his brother’s eyes, “You have no idea what I was thinking of while I was in your arms.” he said while rubbing his arm.

“What is it?”

“Things you do not remember.”

A sudden thought came to Chance, should he just not talk? Every time he asks something, he gets a response that he has no words for. “I am sorry.”

“Stop asking for forgiveness, I already said that I will try. You have no memory of it anyways, no use reminding me of the past.”

The two brothers were once again in awkward silence and tried to think of a conversation. It was difficult for the two to act normally after everything that had happened between them.

Clayton was the first to break the silence as Clifford came to his mind. “I remember you mentioning you met Clifford on the way here.” the prince said, almost in a whisper. Chance could tell that he was embarrassed, but he wondered what the reason would be.

The Crown Prince nodded, “Yes, because he told me it would be a bad idea to meet you. Perhaps he was worried that you would be hurt because of me again.”

“Worried, huh? That is Clifford, indeed.” Clayton muttered.

Chance narrowed his eyes and joined him on the sofa. He sat with him but not too close, just enough for them to talk to each other by each end. “What is going on between you and that Loc-that servant?”

Chance shut his mouth tight, he almost slipped about Clifford’s identity. Fortunately, Clayton did not seem to notice it and had something else in mind the moment his brother asked about him. He looked at him while trying not to look flustered, “What do you mean going on. He’s a servant, furthermore, you know that I do not make friends with anyone.”

“You seem to be trying hard to explain something, huh.”

“No, I am not. Not at all.” he argued, “Why would I need to explain myself.”

“That is kind of the question I want to ask you because you–are doing that right now.”

Clayton averted his gaze grumpily as his brows met each other, but then he returned his eyes to his brother slowly, “Uhm, what about the look on his face?”

“Huh?”

“The look on his face when you met him earlier!”

Chance scratched the lower part of his cheek and was confused while trying to find an answer, “I-I do not know, a handsome face I suppose?”

The Second Prince let out a frustrated sigh, “No, what expression did he have when you met him? Is he happy, mad, or whatever it was? What did he look like after he left my chamber?”

“See? I knew there was something going on.” Chance said.

“Wha-”

“If that was not the case then you would not be so worried about him or conscious of his feelings.” Chance cut him off. “Why would you worry about a ‘servant and someone you are not friends with’?”

“You…” Clayton said but he did not answer his question, “You would not know what I feel right now. You would not understand.”

Chance smiled as he figured out what was going on, “It must be love, you just have not realized it yet. I know how you feel.”

“How could you say that it is love? You have no idea.” Clayton said, still in denial, “And how would you know what I feel?”

“Because I was in the same situation recently.”

Clayton stared at the Crown Prince, “What? You-”

“I am in love with someone I should not.”