Under The Bamboo Parasol - Volume 1 Chapter 47 Conversation In Candle Light

It was dark within the guest house, most of the candles had been blown out and the guest presumably has retreated to rest.

Since there was no one upon the first floor, he made his way to the second floor, to be greeted by a maze of closed doors.

He came upon a room that had open doors on the second floor. The occupant inside was faintly lit by a single candle that was on the table. The wax had, for the most part, melted to resemble that of coagulated blood.

The woman was dressed in pale white robes, her face was covered by a veil that made it hard to see her true countenance. With her fingers stroking the long, yet worn instrument, plucking evenly to create a heavenly sound, in which the rivers flowed downwards and the mountains sprouted from tall clouds.

Her eyes were completely focused on playing the instrument, as though there was nothing in the world that could be able to enter her eyes. Ruan Wang was within a heavenly trance within no time.

His mind was as clean and pure as a wall of ice, as he saw a young woman sitting beside him, also plucking the strings and making such a heavenly tune. The woman was dressed in light blue robes and her eyes were completely focused on the instrument that rested within her lap. Upon her lips, were a shallow smile as she plucked the instrument without a care in the world. Looking upon her, who would care what was happening in the outside world?

The fingers plucking the strings came to a rest, and heavenly music stopped, the woman looked up from the instrument, and Ruan Wang snapped out of his daze.

He looked into those eyes that were not obscured by the veil, they were as familiar as ever before, and now he somewhat understood. If this was nothing but a dream, then he did not want to wake up ever again.

On the contrary to what he expected, she did not scream in horror to the stranger who had suddenly appeared in a private room at the guest house, as any woman would, upon seeing a strange man enter.

Perhaps a thought born out of imagination, but he could feel the lips behind the veil curve into the shape of an unmistakable smile. But she did not speak at all, merely staring at him.

His gaze was that of a person who had fallen upon a sorcerer’s love spell, unable to see anything clearly. His thin lips slightly opened at a loss of what to say.

“Yu Lin” Finally, those words came out, but they were spoken so carefully, as though at a moment’s notice, the name would somehow break apart and shatter into a million piece, never to be able to return to its former glory. Such a name was nothing but a long lost memory, covered in dust after not being spoken for years. Maybe the world had even forgotten of such a name, or the speaker had tried his hardest to recall how those words formed within his lips.

The woman’s eyebrows creased as soon as she heard those words come from his lips. Perhaps she was disgusted as to why such a name would come from his lips. Perchance it was a feeling of surprise that he had actually remembered after so long.

“Cang Long Ruan.” She finally uttered from behind the lips obscured by the veil. Her voice gave away that it belonged to a woman who was no longer as youthful as she once was.

As soon as Ruan Wang heard his full name spoken. On the contrary to being angry at his name being spoken by this woman, he was rather happy. Knowing that other than that woman, there would never be another who would dare speak his full name so brazenly. The royal family had many unspoken rules, of which concerned the name of their members. The titles that they received were often used to replace their names.

Such were the customs since founding times, sometimes it was not strange for those of noble statuses to have the given names forgotten within the annals of history.

Ruan Wang silently closed his eyes in an attempt to absorb everything that was happening before him. This was not a dream, and everything that was in front of him was real. Even the person that was standing before him was made of flesh and blood.

“Yu Lin, do you know, I’ve thought of you for a long long time.” At this very moment, he had wanted to tell her everything he wanted to say to her. Silently standing there, he said, “That day, I found out later that you did not tell my imperial brother, I found out too late” For words, he did not have to think too much about what to say. He had so many years to think about what he would tell her if she ever stood before him again. The sleepless nights were spent thinking of how he would ever dare to speak or ask for her forgiveness.

In the end, after all the various scenarios that he had come up with, this was the best thing that he could say. At this moment, he did not dare speak of his undying love, only his regrets on past mistakes.

The woman sat rooted in her spot, unable to show the slightest shred of emotion. “Why are you telling me this?” She suddenly asked not understanding why he was telling her about his regrets in the years past.

Though Ruan Wang wasn’t smiling before, his face fell even more and he asked: “In your mind, am I beyond forgiveness?”

The woman shrugged. In her mind, they had both done things that could not remain in the annals of history without later generations judging them, but ultimately the ending that had fallen upon her was something she had not expected from him.

Her fingers returned to her instrument, wordlessly stroking the strings that formed the surging rivers beneath the mountain passes.

She did not have an answer to his question. Yes, she was indeed angry that she had nearly died by his hand, but that was to be expected. What she was truly angry about was his disregard at all they had been through together.

If one asked if she regretted their marriage, then no. But did she regret how she overestimated his love for her to that point of placing in that doomed bet, then yes, she did.