Under The Bamboo Parasol - Volume 1 Chapter 55 What Is Love?

Ye Yuying pauses for a moment refusing to let go, trying to study this person who had come in the middle of the night. There was a sense of familiarity between them, as faint as it was.

In a stupor, she abruptly let go. The move was sudden that even Madam Lin did not see it coming. Then again, that was to be expected from a woman who had never been consistent with her emotions. She found the candle on the table, but there were no matches.

She could only take out her own matches, sparking a flame and bringing it to the wooden bed.

With the new addition of light, the dark quarters were slightly illuminated, and Ye Yuying indeed saw that the person who intruded on her was a woman. One who did not seem to be her age, yet not too young either. She could be at best considered a little past her golden years. Strangely, the person was not wearing black, but something more like a hunting outfit.

Anyhow, the show must go on.

With her long and unkempt hair all over and a horrid grin spread across her face. She cackled in front of the intruder. The bursts of crying between laughs and the grin especially made for a chilling sight.

Madam Lin: ” … ”

Since when did Ye Yuying get so good at acting? If she had not confirmed that Ye Yuying was indeed sane before this visit, she would have believed this act. Strange, it was no wonder that everyone in the palace said that Consort Ying had gone mad in a single day after the Ye family fell from grace. It was only from the emperor’s grace that she was banished into the cold palace and kept her life.

Her gaze fell on Ye Yuying who was in the midst of shifting cackling and crying. She inched closer while keeping an eye on the woman, making sure she would not have a burst of sudden strength or strange movements.

That did not happen, and Madam Lin could surmise that any servants that were lurking around the place would have long run away from the fear of angering a crazy person. Deaths in the cold palace often went unnoticed, if one were unfortunate enough to die within the confines of the cold palace, it would be a while before the corpse is found.

Madam Lin gently tucked away a few strands of messy hair behind Ye Yuying’s and stared into her eyes. “Yu Ying I know you’re pretending. Can we have a talk.”

“Who are you?” The woman spoke, but the expression of a madwoman from her face did not change a bit.

“Oh, allow me to introduce myself, my name was Ye YuLin.” Madam Lin said with a bright smile.

That name sounded familiar, where had she heard it before? Her eyes darted aimlessly around before she realized and she tilted her head sideways. Her unwavering gaze looked at Madam Lin. As she continued her ruse.

“Oh come on elder sister, it’s already gotten to this point, must you keep pretending.” Madam Lin rolled her eyes. Slightly annoyed that a person who was completely sane had taken this road. She continued “You’re doing this for your son, aren’t you? I know what you’re up to. But do you think he will really be safe if you just pretend to be crazy locked up in cold palace like this?” As she spoke, she carefully observed Ye Yuying’s features, searching for any cracks in the movement.

For some time, she could see cracks in the mask.

“I will remind you that he is of royal blood. He will become an obstacle in many people’s way. An excellent choice you made in finding a husband, wouldn’t you say?” Madam Lin ridiculed.

Though marriage was not always determined by oneself, at that time the emperor already had his empress. And the eldest miss of the Ye family had always been infatuated after a single meeting. She could have married any other of the late emperor’s sons, yet she chose the one who would be the future ruler. It was uncertain if Ye Yuying truly had feelings for the emperor, or if she just wanted status as a woman of the son of heaven. Whichever it was, that didn’t matter anymore as the time had passed, and it was pointless to know.

She could hear the sound of ghost-like weeping coming from within the room. Like some weeping spirit’s remembrance of their children, but as fate would have it, they were separated, and could never see each other again.

“But you died?” Ye Yuying said waveringly, the weeping had made her voice difficult to distinguish from the night. The memories from long ago came surging back when a eunuch had told her that her sister fell from a cliff, and the corpse was nowhere to be found.

“I came back to see how you were doing.” Madam Lin said.

“Then, are you human or ghost?”

“Shouldn’t you know?” Madam Lin questioned.

“I can’t be sure of it myself.”

Madam Lin chuckled. “If you continue this ruse, do you think you can keep him safe?” She thought of that young man she met in the forest on that fateful day. He was fleeing an assassination with a single guard left by his side. If she had to make a judgment, she would say that he is quite bold, yet also careless to knock on the door of an unknown abode. He was still considered her nephew none the less. Though she may not have valued blood connection, she probably would have extended a helping hand if it was anyone else that knocked on the door.

“I simply no longer wish to burden him.” She replied. It was best that he never knew she was sane. That way, he could focus on himself, instead of trying begging that cold father of his for her sake. If he actually did such a thing, those women in the palace would not let her return, and their sons would do all they can to find faults.

“If you did not wish to burden him, why didn’t you simply commit suicide and end his longing right there and then?” Madam Lin asked. As long as the second prince knew his mother was alive, even if her mind was not all there, there was still hope that they could return to the olden days. He would most certainly care for her no matter what, hence it was still a burden on his part.

Ye Yuying remained silent. It was not as though it never crossed her mind, the day that her family manor had been raided by imperial guards it was just that she feared leaving this world and that precious boy behind all alone. It was every now and then she would sense him peering at her from some obscure place. They could not talk to each other, even he did not know that she was perfectly sane in the mind. Yet there was a strange feeling of comfort there.

Though Madam Lin did not get an answer, she could vaguely feel Ye Yuying’s emotions and knew that there were ties in this world that could not yet be relinquished. “After all that you have experienced, I do wonder if you still love that emperor of your’s?” After a long silence, Madam Lin suddenly asked the question that had been on her mind.

Ye Yuying did not think for a single moment, merely saying “I have never regretted.”

How can one love a man who has hurt one so deeply in the past?