Underworld Player - Chapter 118: Dating Like Doujinshi* Do

-8.30 p.m., Sunshine Cinema-

“Is this really necessary?” said Lin XiaoYi after a momentary pause, as she looked perplexedly at the earpieces that Xia Wen had thrust into her hand.

“I’m going to be the wingman, you know, your wingman!”

Xia Wen smirked as she handed a pair of tickets for adjacent seats to her friend.

“You have no dating experience, after all! Having an operator monitoring the situation from the sidelines is going to help avoid a repeat of your last botched attempt.”

”But neither do you!” Lin XiaoYi whined exasperatedly at Xia Wen, who, with a hood over her head and her face hidden behind a surgical mask, looked exactly like someone up to no good.

“Daijoubu, daijoubu**! I’ve seen pork chops, even if I haven’t seen pigs run***.

Xia Wen waved her hand confidently.

“All my research into doujinshi isn’t for naught! Besides, I also study a fair bit of the works featuring pure love. Quite a few of those even made it to the silver screen, so under my guidance, your successful seduction of this boy is all but guaranteed!”

“The hell do you think I’m worried about? It’s precisely the questionable experience you’ve learned from your doujinshi….”

Lin XiaoYi’s mouth twitched incredulously, and she let out a sigh.

“Don’t think I’m clueless as to the contents of those books, I’m not the protagonist of such smutty fare, not even of those pure-love stories… I’m telling you right now, if you try to make me do anything wildly inappropriate, I’m going to put you six feet under once it’s over.”

“Err… ‘inappropriate’ how?”

“Don’t act cute with me, you… you sussy pervert, I know all about the fantasies th-that go on in your head.”

Lin XiaoYi blushed, as if she had thought of something unspeakable, then rolled her eyes at Xia Wen.

“I-if it’s you, I just know it’s… Just don’t make me do anything bad!”

“Heyheyhey, we haven’t even crossed the river and you’re already burning bridges?

Xia Wen said, slightly miffed.

“Like I said, I read doujinshi for the art. If your lifelong happiness didn’t hinge on this, do you think I’d even be here playing the third wheel?”

Lin XiaoYi sniffed sharply.

“Fine, if you’re my wingman, then shouldn’t you be giving me some tips to prepare right now?”

“Oh…. right…”

Xia Wen took a few steps back and crossed her arms, giving Lin XiaoYi a once-over.

Considering that this was, after all, a proper date, she had taken the effort to dress up, but in casual clothes instead of the fancy white dress she had worn the last time. Her long, lustrous hair was tied up with a red string, and despite the simplicity of her outfit, she was still a vision of beauty.

“XiaoYi, you know, based on the experience I’ve gathered from my tomes of knowledge…” Xia Wen extended a wise finger, her expression grave. “For a date that takes place at a movie theater, you should have worn a skirt. It’s easier.”

“Easier? But a skirt isn’t…”

Lin XiaoYi didn’t immediately get Xia Wen’s cryptic suggestion, but when she saw the mischievous smile playing on her lips, Lin XiaoYi’s cheeked flared a bright red as she suddenly understood what Xia Wen was implying.

“You—!! Don’t you dare try to run! Forget waiting until after we get back, I’ll kill you right here and now!”

“What? I just meant wearing a skirt was easier on the eyes. You’re the one with your mind in the gutter, why am I the bad guy here?”

Grinning wickedly as she ran ahead, Xia Wen said with affected scorn, “As they say, keep Buddha in your heart and you shall be as pure. If not for your own lewd thoughts, there was nothing…”

Xia Wen’s attention was so focused on Lin XiaoYi behind her that she forgot to watch where she was going, and walked right into someone. The force of the collision sent her stumbling backward and landing on her butt on the floor.

“Oww ow ow… Sorry! I didn’t mean to…”

Xia Wen grimaced and raised her head to apologize to the person she had bumped into, but when she saw the figure before her, she could not help stiffening in shock.

“Please watch where you’re going next time, Miss.”

Seemingly uninterested in any further fault-finding, the weary, middle-aged woman muttered in a low voice and hurried left with her sack in tow, heading toward the cinema restrooms.

“That lady…”

Xia Wen, still sitting on the floor, furrowed her brows as she watched the lady leave. It was a subconscious intuition, but she felt there was something wrong about that person.

“Hyaah! Cross choke!”

Before Xia Wen could observe any more, the great campus belle caught up to her, and with a triumphant yell, knocked the distracted girl flat on her back while pressing one hand to her windpipe.

RIP Xia Wen.

———

At 9 pm. sharp, Bai Zhi was seen arriving at the Sunshine Cinema.

“This should be the place…”

Bai Zhi raised his head and narrowed his eyes as he surveyed the building.

It was nighttime, but nine at night was when the city’s nocturnal residents stirred to life, and the various lights in the city kept the darkness at bay.

There had not been many blockbuster movies recently, but the crowd at the cinema was undiminished, mostly comprising gaggles of young people, or couples.

In fact, if anyone was too poor to scrounge up a meal to eat, a good idea might be to hang around the cinema, since there was no shortage of kibble^ being unceremoniously scattered everywhere.

Bai Zhi made his way upstairs, and was greeted immediately by the sight of Lin XiaoYi, standing before a vending machine looking conflicted.

After a moment’s hesitation, Bai Zhi walked over to her, just as she seemed to reach a decision and made the purchase of two bottles of tea.

Bai Zhi arrived before Lin XiaoYi just as she stood up with the bottles of tea in her hand.

She was stunned for a moment, then said, “You made it! Here, this one’s yours.”

The campus belle generously handed one of the bottles of tea in her hands to Bai Zhi.

Bai Zhi took the offered drink while he looked her up and down, looking vaguely unimpressed.

“Gotta have popcorn and a Coke if we’re watching a movie, right?”

“Well~ You hate sweet foods, don’t you? I’m sure you prefer this tea to a Coke.”

Lin XiaoYi clasped her hands behind her back, leaned forward slightly and winked.

“I’d normally go for a Coke myself, but I’m happy to give in to your preferences for things like these~”

Bai Zhi listened in silence, then turned to her.

“…Shall we?”