Vain - Chapter 57 Thoughtless

The world seemed to pause at that moment, and once their kiss ended. Aileene flustered mind was finally able to realize what had happened. Her heartbeat chaotically and she wasn’t brave enough to meet Lucian’s eyes. She kept internally chastising herself, she didn’t know what demon had caused her to act on her impulses just now. And she felt her calm mask cracking, she could no longer hide her anxiety. As she quickly pulls her hands away from Lucian, almost as if merely touching him was burning her.

She didn’t want to face her reality at this moment and she wanted to disappear, somehow reverse time and take away what had happened. She couldn’t bear his hatred, she couldn’t bear his bearing eyes. And—

Before her mind could explore the millions of possibilities that could go wrong, her worries and thoughts held its breath. She held her breath, as Lucian’s embrace her and his arms wrap around her waist. His face was buried in her neck, his hot breath fanned her skin and her mind went blank. She was surprised. She was confused. But at the same time, she was unbelievably happy. An undeniable warmth seeps into her heart, and her chaotic thoughts calmed down. Her face was flush, but she no longer felt the panic of collapse. Aileene weakly raised her hand to pet his soft lavender hair.

“Aileene, ah, Aileene.”

She felt an electric tingly run through her body at his soft whisper. How could he call her name so gently? Doesn’t he know it’ll only make it harder for her to let go?

“Is this what you want?”

Her voice was hitched in her throat, there was no way back if this was the path that she would choose. But he had asked her so, was he not afraid she would regret her choice?

Aileene wasn’t even sure herself if she truly regretted her choices. Everything she had done so far was through careful consideration for her future. The future for her and her parents, the future for Vain, the future after her parents’ death. If she had only had the mind to stop thinking, would anything change? Would she be happier? Would her parents have survived? She wasn’t an all-knowing machine, she wasn’t cold, nor was she heartless. But if she had been so, she wouldn’t have fallen so far. But if she hadn’t fallen so far.

She wouldn’t have understood the care and love her parents had for her. She wouldn’t have met Lucian and she wouldn’t have grown such an attachment. But now that she had done so, now that she was here. She could not deny herself. She didn’t care for a cold and heartless future. She wanted—

“Want is such a simple word, I don’t want this.” Aileene’s voice was faint, but not without conviction.  Find authorized novels in Webnovel，faster updates, better experience，Please click for visiting.

Lucian froze in her embrace, he had mentally prepared himself for her rejection. But when she finally did, he wasn’t sure how he should react. He wanted to convince her to give him a chance, but he didn’t want to force her. So he could only reluctantly release her, he met her eyes. A glittering blue, it matched the jewel that she wore around her neck and he would never get bored looking at them.

“I can’t want you.” Her voice shook and she pulled her eyes away from him. She was struggling. She wanted to let herself want for once, but could she dare to be so selfish? Deceive him so?

“But how long can I deny myself before I succumb?” Aileene finally looked up at Lucian again, there was a gentle smile on her lips and her eyes were bright. She exhaled a nervous breath, “I like you. It seemed I’ve liked you for a long time.”

“I like you too.” Lucian couldn’t help but capture her soft lips again before he had been too surprised to soak in the feeling. But now he could indulge himself in her touch. Her skin was warm and he felt his heart pound in his chest as he kissed her. When he finally pulled away, he was satisfied with how flustered she looked, she was so adorable. His Aileene was the most beautiful in the world. He was tempted to get another taste of her, but composed himself and instead pulled her into an embrace and held her in his arms.

Aileene didn’t resist and leaned into his hold. She was happy and relieved. It seemed as if a weight had lifted from her shoulder and whatever restraints that were holding her back was unlocked. She had never felt as light in her life. Even during her childhood, she was faced with constant worries about the world system and her mission. But now all of it was pushed to the back of her mind. She knew that she would not so easily give up on all her goals and ambitions. But at the same time, it didn’t eat at her like it used.

She was happy to give this small piece of herself to Lucian, even if she’d have to hide everything else. It was not a problem she wanted to think about, for once she did not want to think.

Chapter end