Vain - Chapter 68 Hones

It seemed that Lucian’s words had truly affected her, Aileene finally broke down the remaining walls that isolated her heart. There were no more excuses that she could tell herself to pass by her days, she wanted to do something for once, something that wasn’t stopped by her overthinking and indecisiveness. She could plan and plan, but what did all her planning amount to. When had she ever accomplish the goals that she wanted to accomplish? It was all just trivial words and thoughts that she would tell herself with no weight. It’s only effect would be to tear herself down further with its restlessness.

She knew that she couldn’t continue on like this, so she pulled herself together and decided to become completely transparent with Lucian. Aileene didn’t know where she would even begin, but she had to one way or another. There didn’t need to be contentions between the two of them. She couldn’t allow that to happen. Her priority now was Lucian’s and her own happiness. That would start with her own honesty.

But it’s harder said than done, she could never find the right time to disclose the words that she wanted to say. When they were alone, she would automatically clam up. And when she finally did build up enough courage to tell him, it would be at an inconvenient time. Everything was dragged on so bitterly that it seemed as if she would never reach any satisfying results, she almost thought that she had somehow cursed herself. It really couldn’t be that she would stay like this, never being able to talk face to face with Lucian.

Aileene sighed, this was once again another moment for her to talk to Lucian. He was in her room, and they were alone. But all she wanted to do was ignore all her convictions. This was just a location that they stayed at often. They had many more chances to be alone since the few places that they did venture was the library and each other’s dormitory. So she didn’t have to admit anything to him now, she still had time. She only needed to gather her courage for a few more days.

They were together at almost every moment in the day. This was fine.

They also have very similar schedules, all their classes were the same. The only class that they had separately was culinary and fencing. She had taken culinary to better her cooking skills and Lucian wanted to continue honing his sword skills. So they accepted their parts in ways before lunch.

It wasn’t too bad though, Aileene was quite happy to learn more about something that she normally wouldn’t pay attention to. And culinary wasn’t a very popular class either since most nobles had no need to become chefs. Austrion was just an academy that boasted classes for anything that the heart could desire. So culinary wasn’t something that could have been excluded.

Even so, it seemed that many people had suddenly become enraptured with culinary since Crown Prince Francis was one of the few classmates that she had. He was the center of attention, no matter how well he tries to hide his annoyance. He was subjected to the attention of the desperate nobility. And in the end, it only benefitted her, as she was spared from unwanted notice. There were still nobles that tried to get closer to her, but it was few and far in between, she assumed that it had something to do with Lucian. Since no nobles dare approach him either. It wasn’t an unwelcome action for her though, she preferred less hounding.

Aileene smiled since Francis and her were in the same class. It couldn’t be helped that they had some interaction, especially with his interest in Xi. Who had always been close to her until recently. She still worried about her wellbeing, she just didn’t know how to approach her. But that didn’t mean that she hadn’t noticed all the interactions between Francis and Xi. They grew closer by the day and it was rather cute. She didn’t want to interrupt their happiness, she was satisfied to stay where she was. She was sure that the three of them would be able to rekindle completely one day. And maybe they could eventually add Cielo and Kira into their group.

The two girls also seemed busy with their own relationships, but they were pursuing their happiness all the time. Aileene wanted things to continue this way, she wanted nothing more than to preserve the contentment of the characters that were dragged into this vain game. This was a new beginning for all of them. And this was a new beginning for her.

Aileene glance to Lucian beside her, he was focused and she felt a bit insignificant admiring so. It would be satisfying to even just be a small speck of dirt on his coat, as long as she was near him.

Lucian felt eyes on him and turned to Aileene, who had a small smile on her lips. She stared at him as if she could get full from just looking and was so satisfied that it made him chuckle. She was too cute.

“Are you tired?” He asked, reaching to pet her. She closed her eyes and leaned into his hand that held her cheek, she could never let go of this warmth.

“I can’t get tired, won’t ever be tired of you.” The words were said so willfully that Lucian’s heart was set on fire. He pulled her into his chest and stroke her soft hair. He couldn’t stop the joy in his heart and the pounding that drowned out all his thoughts. He has fallen for her so terribly. There was no way for him to win, he only wished for his days to fill with time to spoil and pamper her. No matter what may happen.

“Lucian, I don’t believe that I could have fallen this fast. But I love you, I’m so sick with love.” Aileene choked out the words that she had been too afraid to say. “There are many things I fear, many things I worry about. I don’t want one of them to be dishonesty with you.”

“Aileene—”

“I know you understand me, and I know you want to share my burdens. I want to tell you the truth. I want you to know all that I know.”

“You don’t have to tell me if you’re not ready,” Lucian said gently, he could feel Aileene shaking in his arms. She was so fragile, her voice was cracking and she was so close to tears. How could he force her? “I love you so terribly that I couldn’t let you bear any pain.”

Aileene pulled away from him and their eyes met. She could see the concern and care in his gaze and it only fuels her determination.

“I’ve—”

“Lady Aileene! Lady Aileene! There’s an urgent letter for you! It’s from your uncle, the rider said that you must read it immediately.”

Aileene’s words were caught in her throat with the surprised that was caused by the shout of her name. She turned to the door, Lucian also shifted his eyes. And when she got up, he hid so that the person at the door would not be able to see him.

She opened the door and thanked the worker for handing her letter so quickly. When her interaction ended, she closed the door again and opened the letter. Her eyes quickly scanned the contents, but the more she read the swifter her expression grew for the worse. With not a sense of relief, she took the letter to a candle in her room and burned it.