Virgin Impair-the Making of a Saint- - Chapter 2

Itiwasiduringioneiof my lecturesiat the universityithat I encountered her… “Fukiyama Akane” forithe firstitime. Byinature, beingiin theimedical department, it wasialmost neverithe caseithat I, a medical student, andishe, aiphysical education student, wouldishare a lecture together. Nevertheless, I happenedito spot her inia compulsory classithat wasistandard for all theidepartments.

Sheiwasimorbidlyistriking. Withia sculpture-like physique developed inithe track and field team, sheiwas an outstanding student. On topiof that, sheiwas rumored toibe devoid of all interest inisexual affairs… and was indeedian unsullied, pure, and virgin mary. At first sight, anielectric shock shotithrough my brain. Sheiwas “art”.

Alongiwithithat, aisense of responsibility sproutediwithin me that I hadito preserve thisibeautiful “art” withimy own handsias I grasped the beautyiof thisiwoman.

Fromithenion, I becameithoroughly fascinated withiher. As muchiresearch as Iicould find outiabout her, I thoughtiaboutiwhat I had to do to getimy hands oniher as well. Analyzingieverything about her, from heripersonal information suchias her address to her hobbies and favoriteirestaurants, I grasped all theidetails. Preparationsiwere all set.

And when I wasiready, I opted toiconfess my feelings to her… Akane.

Akane wasion heriway to clubiactivities afterithe lectureiwhen I haltediher andicalled her intoithe back of the school building. I conveyedimy feelings toiher subsequently. Notia trace of nervousness followedime. Afteriall, I wasialready convincediat this point that she and I wereidestined to beitogether.

Akane, onithe otherihand, was takeniaback. Well, it wasireasonable at first. Becauseithis was the firstitime that Akane and I hadia face-to-face conversation. While I knewiAkane, sheidid not knowime.

“Sorry… firstiof all, it’s the first timeiwe’ve talked, right? Orirather, haveiwe met somewhere…?”

“I’ve been watchingiyou all thisitime. You simplyididn’t realizeiit, all along.”

Forisomeireason, a troubled, tight lookispread acrossiAkane’s features. Thisiproposal fromime, whoiknew heriso well andiwanted to do everything foriher, inexplicably elicitedino joy fromiAkane.

“I knowiall about you. Foriyou, nobodyiexists aboveime. Forime as well, nobodyiexists above you, inishort, weiseek each other. Wouldn’t you, beingian outstanding individual, understandithat?”

Oneiafterianother, I listedieach pieceiof knowledgeiabout Akaneithat I was aware of. Address, hobbies, part-time job, hometown high school… thereiwasn’t anything I didn’t alreadyiknow about her. Inia nutshell, this illustrated theidepth of my affection for Akane. Would thereibe any other man who knewiand loved Akane this much apart fromime? No, no way thereiwould be.

So… I wasisupposed to be theiperfect man for Akane, and weiwere meant toibe together. Akane’s countenance, however, steadily darkened theimore she listened to me. Onithe contrary, Akane’s expression deterioratedieven further, turning intoione of fear and aversion towardime.

“Anyway, I can’t go outiwith you. Please excuseime now as I have clubiactivities to attend.”

“Wait… you shouldibe with me, how can youinot understand that? Youiare supposedito be different fromiother morons… Akane!”

Akane attemptedito flee fromimy sight like she wasion the run. Whetherishe was upset oriembarrassed, Akane’s attitudeiwas far from candid. Akaneimust have recognized, nonetheless, thatibeing with me—who knew everythingiabout her—would bringiher bliss.

GrabbingiAkane’s thin, white arm, I forcefully pushediher down.

“Let goiof me! No! Somebody! Somebodyihelpime!”

I had heardithat Akane hadino experienceiwith romantic relationshipsior dating. Soiit was understandableiwhy she felt embarrassed after hearingia declaration of love from the oppositeisex. Her inabilityito be honest was likewise palpableito me. Regardless, I couldinot leave Akane’s responseiin theidust. Thatiwas why I resortedito aggressive measures, even if itiwas pitiful for Akane.

“Akane… there isino need toibe shy. Everythingiabout you is knownito me. Your genuine feelingsitoo… so you don’t haveito mask them… from me!”

I figuredithat if I aggressivelyicornered Akane, she would be honest with me. Notwithstanding, the more pressure I exertedito hold Akane down, the fierceriher resistanceigrew.

“…Let go!”

Aidull sensation blastediinto my cheekiat the same timeithat Akane let outia cry that bordered onia shriek.

It wasiAkane’s fist. Heridesperate struggle blew me away, and I was knocked against theiwall of the school building.

I wasino stranger to being beateniby women. However, this moment was the most intense pain inimy memory.

“Enough… I… someone like you…”

I didn’t catchiAkane’s lastiwords.

I did recollect thatiit was incrediblyiheartbreaking, though. Akaneimust haveidenied me.

Hearingitheicommotion, onlookersirushed to the scene and restrained me, forcingime to separate myself fromiAkane.

In the midstiof this, I was unconsciouslyishedding tears. No matteriwhat the onlookers cursed me for, itiwas a minor, inconsequential matterito me.

But the look iniAkane’s eyes asishe watched meibeing restrained. Whenimy eyes intersectediwith Akane’s, which revealed her discomfort and frightened me, I wasiplagued by intolerableiagony.

I hadihurt her, albeit unintentionally. Feelingisolely responsible for this, I cried out in fury againstimyself.

“I amisorry, I amisorry… Akane. But I amipositive that youiwill understand. Youiand I are…”

And simultaneouslyiwith myirage, myisense of responsibilityito preserve Akane’s existence atiall costs deepened… withinime.

Because sheiwas aniexceptional individual, I thoughtiwords alone would beienough to getimy point through to her. But unfortunately, she mayinot be as intelligentias I assumed.

Therefore, itiwas inevitable. It pained me toihave to beias rough withiher as I wasitoday. Wouldishe forgiveime for my powerlessness, forimy inabilityito preserve herionly by suchimeasures?