Wear - Chapter 10

Monday morning began, as Wyatt and Emma leave together for class. The morning was calm, as most of the students were tired and less energetic than they were on Friday. When Refus walks into the classroom, he says “Good morning. I know it’s Monday and no one is ever excited for a Monday, but today we’re going to talk a little bit about our futures”. Refus looked around the class, expecting someone to scoff or complain. No one spoke up, and then Refus points to Jackson. “Jackson Lonny” Refus says.

“Huh?” Jackson asks.

“Why did you come to Harrison University?” Refus asks.

“Like… why come here in specific, or is this like… complaining that I’m here?” Jackson asks.

“No, I mean” Refus says “what do you have planned for your future”. Jackson was silent for a while, then Refus continues to say “What brought you students to choose Harrison?”.

“Well” Jackson says, “in this country, college courses are mandatory for any job that pays a living wage… so”.

“Right” Refus says, “and Harrison changes the way it’s courses run so the students can get certified in most general working categories. However, it’s not the recommended school for any specific job… so I thought it’d be good to think about what you want to grow on more while you’re still in school. Before you go out on your own as adults”.

“Isn’t it simple though?” Another student asks. “Get any job that pays enough, then live like that?”.

“That’s viable” Refus says, “but not comfortable. This school is known for allowing low income students to get jobs that pay high enough for them to no longer be low income people. I don’t think that’s a real goal though. What do you guys want to do in college… what do you plan for the rest of your lives?”.

“Get a job, then live alone” Jackson says unenthusiastically.

“Is that something you really want?” Refus asks. “Look, getting certified to work for the city is one thing. Becoming a person of your own making is… something else entirely! This week, I want you guys to think long and hard about what you’re good at, and what you’re passionate about”.

“This is beginning to sound a bit cheesy” Jackson says.

“I’m serious” Refus says. “Find something you genuinely enjoy doing. Find a way this school can help you do that. After your first semester, the first year students are allowed to form their own clubs based on their grades. If you’re doing well enough academically, you can form a club with people of similar interests. Grow together, learn together, find what you love to do. You don’t have too much time to think about these things”.

As most of the students start talking to each other about what they want to do, a few other students thought silently to themselves. Namely, The Rejects. “What do you guys want to do?” Jessica asks. “I haven’t really found anything I love doing… or am good at”.

“Not surprising” Jackson says. Then Aeris takes out a notebook, draws a line under the tally marks from last weekend to show it’s a new day, then marks down one tally. “Whoa, hold on!” Jackson panics. “What I meant was, I haven’t really figured anything out either, and it doesn’t surprise me that I’m the only one!”.

Aeris squints her eyes at Jackson and slowly erases the tally mark. “You need to find a friendlier way to communicate” she says.

“What I want to do?” Emma asks herself. “What DO I want to do with my life?”.

“Aren’t you a clothier though?” Wyatt asks. “Why don’t you try finding a way to turn that into a career?”.

“I’m… not sure” Emma says. “I love doing it, but I’m not sure how I could make that… into a career”.

“I guess you have to find the right opportunity” Aeris says. “It’s not a common job, so it’d be hard to find someone to work for… but there should be something you could do”.

“Opportunity…” Emma says to herself as she thinks, her mother’s words ringing through her ears. “Most of the time, opportunity needs to be created, not found”.

“I’m sure there’s someway to make it work out” Wyatt says, “you just need a little bit of time and help”.

“What about you, Wyatt?” Emma asks.

“Me?” Wyatt asks. “I’m… not sure either. I guess I’ve always just wanted a good enough job to be able to move out of my old home… but now that I’m out already, I’m not so sure what to do from here”.

“Guess we’ve all miscalculated something in life” Jessica says. “We’re all in the same boat in the end… but at the same time, that gives me an idea!”.

“An idea?” Aeris asks.

“The first year students can join clubs, but not form their own clubs until after the first semester, right?” Jessica asks. “And then, none of us know what we want to do, or how we’re going to do it. So what if we form our club, next semester, and make it a club to help each other find something we’re good at doing?”.

“That sounds… like regular class without a teacher” Jackson says.

“Think about it” Jessica says. “We can form our club to help ourselves to find out what we want to do, and then help each other do it. With a club like that, we could even get plenty of other people from other classes to join and help. Also, we may even be able to help people around this school not only find something they want to do, but even help people get used to our laibah classmates”.

“This is beginning to sound a little devious” Aeris says. “What’s your plan?”.

“Well, we don’t tell the other club members about you guys being laibah, obviously” Jessica says, “but, I mean- think about it… how likely do you think it is that the other students joining a club like that would be laibah?”.

“Actually… I think I get where this is going” Wyatt says. “If we get a bunch of laibah club members, it could very well also be a safe place for laibah. With the other laibah club members knowing that there are other people who would still stay by their side, even while knowing who they are, then it’d bring them closer to those of us that are human. Once we can show that the laibah can easily befriend humans like that, it’s only a matter of time before the rest of the school catches on, and people become less afraid”.

“Right!” Jessica says. “It’d be like knocking down two birds with one stone!”.

“Here’s a thought” Jackson says, “how would you plan on going through with all of that? What if the laibah members don’t want to let even us know who they are, or what if the human members quit because of it?”.

“That’s!- um… good question” Jessica says.

“We’d have to let people go on about that, of their own accord” Wyatt says. “If the laibah don’t want to let others know about them, then that’s up to them. If the human members quit, that’s their problems. Over time though, we can find more people like… well, like us”.

“And what would you call a club like that?” Jackson asks. “The Rejects?”.

Jessica and Wyatt shrug as Emma says “Actually, that’s not entirely a bad name”.

“Not you too” Jackson says. “We can think of a better name for that”.

“Well, hold on” Emma says, politely. “We may be rejects in terms of societal standards, but that doesn’t mean we’re bad people. If we can use that as the core message for our club, it may accomplish the task of keeping everyone’s mind open a little bit easier”.

“She has a point” Aeris says.

“Alright, fine” Jackson says. “I’m not sure why we jumped from our futures to a club though, since we can’t make clubs until the next semester. The next semester starts after winter break, and in case you don’t remember, we’re still waiting for fall… you know, like The Autumn Festival and stuff?”.

“It’s good to make plans early enough to improve upon them” Wyatt says.

“Fine” Jackson says, “you win. Who’d be the club president?”.

“Not me” Wyatt says, “I don’t think I’d be very good at it”.

“I don’t think… I could lead it either” Emma says.

“But you’re the only one who even has a remote idea on what they want to do!” Jackson says.

“What about you, Jackson?” Jessica asks.

“How about no?” Jackson says.

“Then… looks like it’ll be between Aeris and Jessica” Wyatt says.

“I think Jessica” Aeris says, “since it was her idea”.

“I think it should be Aeris” Jessica says, “she smarter, and it’d probably make more sense for a laibah to be the president of the club”.

“Is this a niceness competition?” Jackson says. “We can’t even decide on a leader, let alone our own damn futures. How about this? I’m thinking of a number between 1 and 10”.

“5” Jessica says.

“7” Aeris says.

“Aeris is the president” Jackson says, “congrats. You’re the president of a non-existent club!”.

“Wait, what was the number?” Jessica asks.

“It was 8” Jackson says.

“How about the club room?” Emma asks.

“Should we try asking Principal Schafold if we could use the roof?” Wyatt asks. “I mean, we already eat there, so…”.

“Sure, why not?” Jackson asks. “Try it when it actually matters… in about four months”.

When it was time for lunch, the group sat on the roof again. Emma thought to herself about what she wanted to do and how she should do it. As she thinks, she recalls something Matilda had once told her, before she enrolled in Harrison University. “If you’re worried about what’s going to happen all the time” Matilda had told her, “Then it shows you’re not ready to give up. Try finding something that’ll give you the time to find your place in the world. A girl your age should probably enroll in a college anyways. Try that, and give yourself time to find your place in life. Don’t let your past ruin your future”. As Emma thinks to herself, she says “Sometimes, Matilda really reminds me of mom” to herself.

“Well” Aeris says, “we may not have come up with a plan for our distant futures today, but at least we came up with something. It’s a good start”.

“At least it’s something” Jackson says. “Maybe college won’t be so annoying after all…”.

“Maybe not” Jessica says. “This could very well be the real start of the rest of our lives”.

“Suddenly, it doesn’t sound so impressive anymore” Jackson says. “If the rest of our lives will be this boring”.

“That’s not what I meant, jackass” Jessica says. “What I mean is, maybe it could be all uphill from here”.

“Shit, I’d hope so” Aeris says.

“It’ll only be uphill if that’s how we make it” Wyatt says. “We just have to do our best to make sure that’s the case”.

“Oh my god, you’re such a nerd” Jackson says.

“Are you asking for a broken rib?” Aeris asks Jackson.

“Geez, okay” Jackson says. “I’ll be nice”.

Later that night, when school was over, Wyatt and Emma head back to the dorm. Wyatt leaves for work, and Emma stays in the dorm to work on stitching. “The future is hard to think about” Emma says to herself. “I want to keep making clothes, but I also can’t imagine much past the festival… I don’t even know how I’m supposed to get through the next couple weeks. How am I supposed to create an opportunity under these circumstances, mom?”. Emma waited, as if waiting for an answer from her mother to come down from the heavens. “I can’t even be honest with Wyatt, let alone try to lead myself through the next couple weeks. What am I supposed to do?”.

“What am I supposed to do?” Wyatt asks his coworker, Amelia, during work. “The festival is so close, and I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do. I know she’s probably nervous about it too, but I’m not sure if I can make her genuinely happy”.

“You’re pretty crazy about her, aren’t you?” Amelia asks. “Why the sudden worry about making her happy?”.

“Because…” Wyatt says as he thinks about the correct words to say. “I’ve seen her cry, and I’ve seen her sad. It’s the type of face that makes me want to cry just for seeing it. She’s had it pretty rough, and I think… she deserves better than that”.

“And now you’re not sure if you’re the right one to do that for her?” Amelia asks. “Are you giving up before you even try?”.

“I… don’t want to give up” Wyatt says. “I just…”.

“Want what’s best for her?” Amelia asks. “Look, if I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard a line like that… I wouldn’t be working here”.

“Then… what do you think I should do?” Wyatt asks.

“Well, if you have the heart to think about someone like that” Amelia says, “then I’m sure that makes you more than capable of making her happy. You need to worry less, and pay attention more. Find out what she enjoys in life, and try to provide that, to show you appreciate them. If you spent all your time worrying about if you can or can not just naturally make people happy with your mere presence, then of course you’re setting yourself up to fail”.

“Thanks” Wyatt says, “that does help. Although, out of curiosity, how many times have you heard stuff like that?”.

“Oh, all the time back in high school” Amelia says. “I go to Jamestown Central University now, but I had to help my friends all the time back in high school. Some of them are engaged now”.

“What year are you in?” Wyatt asks.

“I’m a third year student” Amelia says. “This is my last year at my college”.

“What are you going to do when you get out?” Wyatt asks with a laugh, “love advice?”.

“I’m actually going to be an engineer” Amelia says. “Automotive Engineer, to be precise”.

“That’s pretty cool” Wyatt says.

“And you?” Amelia asks.

“I don’t know…” Wyatt says. “I haven’t quite figured it out. Whatever I do though, one thing is for sure. I do want Emma to be there”.

“So her name is Emma?” Amelia asks with a quick laugh.

“I thought I told you that a while ago…” Wyatt says in disappointment.

“Probably did” Amelia says with a shrug. “I probably just forgot. It’s been a long day”.

When Wyatt comes back from his job, Emma was still up and working on making clothes. “Oh, you’re back” Emma says. “Was it a long day? You look kind of tired”.

“It was a long day” Wyatt says, “but mostly because I’ve been spending too much time trying to think about… well, the future and stuff”.

Emma laughs to herself and says “I know what you mean. I think all of us have been worried about it all day”.

“Well” Wyatt says as he sits down on his bed, “I’m sure, eventually, we’ll have everything figured out”.

Emma nods and says “Yeah. We don’t have to rush it, but… well, let’s just try working it out… together”.

Wyatt smiles and says “Yeah… Together. I think I’d like that”.