Wear - Chapter 38

The next day, during lunch break, Refus roamed the halls rather than sit in the teacher’s lounge like usual. He was worried about what Ryan was thinking, but he couldn’t think of anything to say to him or ask him. He couldn’t really think of anything to say to Rose either. He knew she was probably more worried about Ryan than he was. After a while of walking and thinking, he hears footsteps coming from the principal’s office. When he turns and looks down the hallways towards Ryan’s office, he saw Sarah coming out of the office. “Oh, hey” she says. “It’s you again… Rose’s friend”.

“Refus” he says as he extends a hand out to shake her hand. “I wouldn’t exactly say I’m Rose’s friend. She’s kinda a hard person to read”.

“Yeah… that we can agree on” Sarah says as she slowly shakes his hand. “Did you need to speak to gramps also?”.

“Yeah, w-well… no” Refus says. “I’m not really sure. I’m not even sure what I can say to him right now. There’s a lot I want to know, but Ryan… I just don’t really know how to ask him about anything”.

“Sounds confusing” Sarah says.

“He’s told me about a lot of things” Refus says, “like… Emily”.

Sarah’s face seems to immediately drop into an expression of depression. “What about… Emily?” She asks.

“Well, I haven’t heard the whole story” Refus says, “but I know about… well, you’re her mother, right?”.

Sarah looks down at the floor and says “Yeah”.

“I’m sorry” Refus says, “I didn’t want to bring down everyone’s mood like that. Want to try talking it over lunch? I haven’t eaten yet, and I’m sure it’s not exactly an easy thing to talk about. I just want to hear your side of the story too, since I’m trying to help Ryan and Rose out here…”.

“Has Rose figured it out?” Sarah asks.

“No, she doesn’t know” Refus says. “Ryan has told me, but he hasn’t told Rose”.

“So what did you want to know?” Sarah asks.

Refus pulls out that letter he received from Ryan. He kept it in one of the inside pockets of his jacket. He waves the envelope in front of Sarah and says “I want to know everything that’s on this letter”.

“Ryan gave you that?” Sarah asks.

“It’s one of the reasons I want to know” Refus says. “I wasn’t told the full story, and the way Ryan is talking… it makes me worry about the details”.

“I see…” Sarah says. “Then you’re supposed to hold onto that until…?”.

“Until worse comes to worst” Refus says. “That’s about all I understand of this issue, really. Ryan says he’s preparing for the worst… judging from how he’s talking, he thinks he may not be able to tell Rose about any of the things he promised. D-did he tell you that he was going to explain it to Rose eventually?”.

“Well… something like that” Sarah says. “What he really told me is that I can’t hide it forever and need to confront my sister about it, if I’m ever going to try asking for her sympathy. I guess you’re the keeper then…”.

“Keeper?” Refus asks. “Keeper of the letter?”.

“Yeah” Sarah says as she tilts her head to the side. “What else?”.

“Couldn’t you just say messenger?” Refus asks.

Sarah almost seems to cheer up as she says “Didn’t you mention lunch?”.

The two of them eat off of the school campus. “I didn’t really like laibah before” Sarah says, “kinda like gramps. I don’t know if he’s told you about that yet”.

“He… has not” Refus says.

“Ah, well” Sarah continues to say as she eats, “we both used to have our own… personal issues with laibah. Over time, we both found some way to grow out of it. For me, I just simply gave up on life… no longer saw a reason to put in effort for hate. You know how chronic depression is, right?”.

“I can’t say that I do” Refus says.

“Anyways” Sarah continues, “I just kinda lost my light… Over time, whenever I began meeting more and more people who were laibah-“.

“You began to get along with them more?” Refus interrupts.

“No…” Sarah says. “No, that’s not it. I just came to this point where I simply just did not care. I figured ‘Meh, doesn’t concern me. I’m just waiting until I can go to sleep and avoid everyone’ while stuck in my depressive mood. My actual changing point was when I heard from Ryan about the parents who adopted Emily. Man, I really HATED that! I couldn’t stand the thought of my baby being taken in by laibah at first! I stressed so much about it, that I even asked Ryan if he could help me keep tabs on those parents who took her in. That’s when Ryan introduced me to an old woman who worked at that clothing store nearby. Someone by the name of Matilda”.

“Oh yeah, I’ve met her” Refus says.

“Well, Matilda really worked miracles” Sarah says. “I mean… that’s over exaggerating, but still! When I met her as a contact for those parents, I asked her to keep her eyes peeled for anything those two might do. That’s when she looked me in the eyes and said ‘If you’re so worried about her, then why would you have given up such a magnificent child?’. At first, I was enraged… I mean, of course I was. Who wouldn’t be in that scenario? But then, Matilda showed me those two caring for the baby better than I ever could. She would show me footage of the store’s security cams and pictures they’ve taken with Emily. They always looked so happy, as if she alone was the guiding light in their life. I broke out in tears, and… well, Matilda never held it against me. Together, she and Ryan spent a lot of time trying to convince me that she’s in good hands. I spent a couple months talking to Matilda, constantly asking about news with Emily. Eventually, I ran into the parents themselves at the store. To my surprise, Matilda had already told them about me. You know what that father did the moment he saw me?”.

“What?” Refus asks.

“He ran up to me, and he hugged me” Sarah says. “He cried and thanked me for the child, and then briefly begged me to not feel bad about having to give up my child. Their mother even began asking me for forgiveness, but I couldn’t come to terms with them asking me for forgiveness. Hell, I couldn’t even stand on my own two feet at the time”.

“What do you mean?” Refus asks.

“I broke down” Sarah says. “I cried a lot… then asked them to forgive me. Silly, huh?”.

“That’s not silly” Refus says. “That shows that even if you went through all those… dark times, that somewhere in there, you’re still human”.

“Pfft, in my experience” Sarah says, “being human isn’t all that much to begin with”.

“Well” Refus says, “a human heart… the metaphorical heart, of course… and a laibah heart are two in the same. It wouldn’t be right if I said that you had a laibah heart, now would it?”.

“Yeah… I think I get what you mean” Sarah says.

“Point is” Refus says, “you fought your way through life to get where you are now. Do you feel like any better of a person yet?”.

“I don’t… really know” Sarah says.

“Well, someday, you’ll have to talk with Rose about all of that” Refus says. “So it was never my position to tell someone what I think of their past. Although, I am thankful I at least understand a little bit about what I’m trying to help with around here”.

“You don’t think less of me or Ryan because I’ve told you about how we didn’t originally get along with laibah, do you?” Sarah asks.

“Why would I?” Refus asks. “You can’t be mad at someone for maturing to a point before meeting them. It’s not where you start that matters to me. It’s where you take your journey that makes an impact on the world”.

“Some people really do just like to watch the world learn, huh?” Sarah asks with a contempt smile.

“What’s that look for?” Refus asks. “You’re freaking me out”.

“In some way, I’m mostly just smiling at my past self” Sarah says. “Laibah or not, people in general still choose whether or not to be a shitty person. So far, I think you’re a model teacher, Refus”.

“Uh, thanks?” Refus asks. “I mean… I took courses for that. Not sure if I’d be able to look myself in the mirror if I hadn’t learned how to handle my job”.

“No, I mean it” Sarah says. “You’re not a bad person. Which is all the more reason I hope we can help Ryan achieve his goal. I could really see us being friends, so it’d suck if the inner city people managed to push you out in the end”.

“A friend, huh?” Refus asks with a laugh. “Y’know, I’ve been so wrapped up in everything that’s been going on lately, that I think I’ve actually forgotten to stop and make friends while I’m here”.

“Well, there’s Ryan” Sarah says.

“True” Refus says.

“And Rose?” Sarah asks. “Although, it’s hard imagining that she is capable of actually making friends”.

“She’s not that mean” Refus says, “give your sister a break”.

“Pfft” Sarah says and then laughs, “I guess so! She may be really hard headed, but she’s still family in the end”. Sarah pauses then says “You know… Ryan still feels guilty about a lot of things. When he used to have disputes with laibah, when my issue happened. That man is filled with regrets and is dead set on fixing everything. Even if he has to do it himself. Just… do me a favor, will you?”.

“What?” Refus asks.

“Please don’t let him carry this burden alone” Sarah says. “If he ever takes the time to reach out for help, it likely means that he’s put a lot of thought into the matter before asking for help. That man will only ask for any amount of assistance if it’s absolutely necessary. So just… don’t let anything hinder him when he asks for help, and please try to lighten the burden on the poor man?”.

“Yeah, Ryan is a clever man” Refus says. “I can’t imagine it’ll ever be a good sign when he asks for help”.

“Anyways” Sarah says as she stands up, “I think I’ve kept you for long enough. Isn’t it about time you head back to work, Mr…”.

“Maloney” Refus says. “Refus Maloney”.

“Right” Sarah says as she shakes his hand again. “Thanks for the food”.

“Thanks for the talk” Refus says. “I needed to know at least a little bit, as I didn’t really understand much about the situations that Ryan’s dealing with”.

“Anytime” Sarah says. “I’ll see you later”.

When Refus comes back to school at the end of the lunch period, he quickly runs into Rose. Rose seemed to be in a panic, so Refus explained what he was doing, leaving out the details of Sarah’s story. “I’ve been here, worrying about the situation at school” Rose yells, “and you were off on a date with my sister!?”.

“A date?” Refus asks. “You’re both too old for me”.

“I don’t care what the details are!” Rose says.

“What’s the matter?” Refus asks. “What’s gotten you so stressed?”.

“Are you kidding me!?” Rose yells. “The school pins have been selling like hot cakes. Ryan’s selling them for 50 Centi each, who wouldn’t mind paying that much!? You can find 50 Centi on the ground! Through all of this, I can’t help but to worry more about Ryan’s situation! It’s all a damn mess!”.

“Hey, Hey!” Refus says, “slow down! You’re trying to do too much. At least let some of us help you out. Come on, sit down and relax”. Refus directs Rose towards the teacher’s lounge, and the two sit down. “Look” Refus says, “I know you’re worried about what Ryan said yesterday. I’m worried too! I can’t help but to be worried after something like that! But you know Ryan better than I do! He wouldn’t tell us this if he hadn’t considered other possible solutions, now would he?”. Rose remains quiet, and so, Refus continues. “The best way to go about this is to support Ryan the best we can. You know how much he wants us to push this bill for the school. The selling pins idea and everything, he needs our help, Rose”.

“Yeah, but-” Rose says.

“But” Refus interrupts, “if and when something bad may even begin to happen, we can decide from there what to do. Being worried about it is only natural, but you know better than me that we can’t let Ryan down. This is very important for him. So if some people bring trouble for the school, we can find a way to handle it without needing to involve Ryan”.

“How so?” Rose asks skeptically.

“Well, there’s more of us than there are of Ryan” Refus says. “We’re more than capable of having enough hands to handle a situation by ourselves. Otherwise, he wouldn’t ask you to take the seat of Vice Principal. Remember that if you need help with anything like this, I’ll be here to help. After all, Ryan asked me to help you out, didn’t he?”.

“What’s it to ya anyways?” Rose asks with an angry expression.

“Will you stop being so damn stubborn!” Refus says. “I’m trying to help both you and Ryan! Whether you like it or not, I’m here to help resolve this issue also! It’s what friends do!”.

Rose froze for a second, then says “I don’t remember asking for a friend”.

“Well” Refus says, “that’s too bad! Because regardless of you asking for it, I’m here, trying to help your ass as well as Ryan’s! I don’t remember asking to be thrown in this mess! I don’t remember asking to be paired with such a miserable middle aged woman! I sure as hell didn’t ask to be employed by a school that’s falling apart! But regardless, I stuck around anyways to look out for you guys! After a while, I even grew to care about you guys! I grew to think of you and Ryan as friends, Rose! Now are you going to keep pointlessly stressing over something that you can’t handle alone, or are you going to stand up and work with me to take care of this issue for Ryan’s sake!?”.

“Yeah…” Rose says. “Yeah, that old coot can’t handle this, so we might as well do it for him!”.

“Good” Refus says.

“Also, say ‘friends’ one more time” Rose says, “and I’m punching you in the stomach”.

“You’re welcome” Refus says.

Meanwhile, as The Rejects return to their classrooms, they noticed many of the students in the school were already wearing the pins that the school was selling. “Looks like this is going better than we expected” Aeris says.

“Almost a little too well?” Emma asks.

“What do you mean?” Wyatt asks.

“I dunno” Emma says. “I just have this… weird feeling. Nothing in life has ever been this easy… so I can’t help but to feel like things will go wrong somehow”.

“You sure?” Jackson asks. “I mean, it seems like the classroom has finally settled in on the idea of being around laibah. It’s hard to say whether we can or can not be comfortable enough to have the rest of you guys come out as laibah, but… it’s getting there, isn’t it?”.

“Right, but” Emily says, “this doesn’t really seem like it’s gotten easier. I know Emma thinks our goals suddenly became easier, and Jackson feels like our fighting may be coming to an end, but I feel like you’re both wrong”.

“What do you mean?” Aeris asks.

“Well… we’ve made it over one hurdle for sure” Emily says. “But now, with the bill and everything, isn’t it basically our school together against the whole world now, like Aeris said yesterday? There’s still a lot to do, and I don’t think it’ll be getting any easier from here on out. Just… enjoy this grace period while you can, guys, because I feel like we’re going to be put right back to work”.