What Naruto Is Not Allowed To Do - Chapter 2 Team Eigh

Hinata, while it is understandable that you would need to practice the use of your Byakugan, please stop staring at Naruto with it, you’re beginning to drool more than Akamaru when you do so.

Kurenai, can you explain why Kiba was seen trying to lick his crotch in public.

Shino, threatening academy students with your kikaichu bugs is not acceptable.

No, Akamaru! Stop! Don’t pee on that! Bad dog!

Hinata, can you please stop telling all the females between the ages of twelve and twenty about the size of Naruto’s “package”? He’s been molested fifteen times this week.

No, Hinata, you can’t practice you Jken techniques on the girls who molested Naruto. You shouldn’t have told them about the size of his package. If you want to molest him yourself, you should have acted earlier.

On the other hand, you are not allowed to molest him, either.

Kiba, you can’t kill Naruto because he is better hung than you.

Shino, we aren’t going to declare war on other shinobi villages because their genin are annoying brats. All genin are annoying brats, even ours, and you don’t see the other villages declaring war on us for that reason.

Kurenai, can you explain why Hinata was found passed out at the hot springs along with half the teenage kunoichi population of Konoha? The nosebleeds were on the scale of Naruto’s Oiroke no Jutsu.

Shino, threatening to castrate Sasuke in his sleep because he’s still moping about his clan’s massacre is not nice.

Neither is trying to get Gaara to do it for you.

Kiba, Inoichi would like to have a talk with you about him having seen Akamaru digging up his garden to bury things in it. He has found the following items: three chicken bones, two rubber balls, a mangled doll that looks suspiciously like Naruto

Hinata, can you tone down the stalking of Naruto? He’s beginning to get paranoid about being watched when he can’t prove he is.

Kurenai, banning Icha Icha Paradise will not happen. If we did so, the male shinobi would mutiny.

Shino, Hinata has forgiven Neji for the Chnin Exams, so quit having your bugs crawl around his room at odd times of the night.

Kiba, giving Lee sake in order to beat Neji like a drum will not happen again.

In fact, you are not allowed to possess sake save for strictly controlled circumstances left up to your mother’s judgment, Kiba.

Hinata, putting a contract on heads of the elders of your clan is not acceptable. Yes, we know it was you.

Even though it was under your father’s name. He was quite miffed about you trying it before he could.

Kiba, you aren’t allowed to try and make Tora a chew toy for Akamaru.

Kiba, restrain your dog! That’s the fourth stack of important paperwork he’s chewed on this week.

Kurenai, we need to have a talk about why Shino has his bugs all throughout the Hokage Tower.

Hinata, can you please refrain from trying to assault the ambassador from Kumo? We understand that you had a bad experience with the last one, but please wait until they try something first.

The last ambassador they sent is still traumatized.

Kiba, asking a girl her name so you can “howl it at the moon” is lame. Quit doing it.

Shino we are getting complaints from the ambassadors from snow country you were supposed to protect. They want you to stop too creep them out, they say that bugs were crawling out of your nose, ears and mouth when you were sleeping.