What Naruto Is Not Allowed To Do - Chapter 5 Team Minato

Kakashi, can you explain why Obito was found hanging upside down and naked from the Hokage Monument?

Rin, the solution to your problems with Jiraya’s peeping is not to shout out “Cry havoc, and let slip the dogs of war!” and proceed to sic Kuromaru on him. Even if Tsume worked with you on it.

You also won’t encourage Tsume to do the same on her own, or any other Inuzuka female

Obito, quit trying to mix Katon Jutsu and explosive tags in your attempts to beat Kakashi. The last experiment you tried destroyed Training Area Twelve.

For both you and Kakashi, you will not set Gai on fire to see how brightly his Flames of Youth burn again. Even if, no, especially if he thinks it’s a good idea.

Minato, can you explain why both Kakashi and Obito were found in a gay bar dressed in drag with a smug Rin standing right outside it? On the other hand, we don’t want to know.

Obito, teaching academy students the hand signs for ‘The Hyuuga’s need to pull those sticks out of their asses,” is not acceptable.

Kakashi, having stealing Kushina’s undergarments and placing them on a sleeping Minato will not be continued. No matter how amusing you may find it.

Yes, we know it was you, and she would like to have a word with you about that.

You deserved to be hung upside down, naked, from the Hokage Monument, Kakashi

.

Obito, the excuse “Sorry I was late. Orochimaru was trying to turn me into an okama and make me his uke,” will not be used again.

Drugging Orochimaru to find out if he is indeed male will not be done again, Kakashi.

Rin, what is it with you and dressing your team mates in drag?

Obito, you will not tell Rin she has a thing for okama, loudly, in public, or in front of clients. We already get enough complaints about sexual deviancy as it is. Better yet, you will not tell her at all ever again.

You also will not say that Orochimaru has a shota fetish, or a futanari fetish. Minato, what is it with your student’s obsession with such things?

Put the puppy down, Rin.

Obito, you will not stand around and shouting and placing bets when Anko gets into a catfight with Rin.

You won’t use Suiton Jutsu to turn it into a mud fight, either. We’re talking to you, Kakashi.

No, you can’t shove a Doryuheki up a client’s ass. We don’t care how annoying he is, Rin.

Rin, medical techniques were not meant to be used that way, and quit threatening Jiraya with a sex change if he doesn’t stop his peeping. If Tsunade couldn’t manage to stop him, what makes you think you can.

Obito, the excuse, “I got drunk last night and somehow ended up spending the night with Anko,” would be believable if we didn’t already know that Wait, that actually happened?!

Obito Uchiha is not allowed to consume or purchase alcohol.

Neither is the rest of Team Minato, including Minato.

Kakashi, you will not graffiti “I am t3h pwnage d00d. u n00bz r t3h suXX0rz!” on ANBU Headquarters.

Obito, slipping porn into your mission reports before you hand them to the chuunin at the desk is not funny. It’s hard enough to get Shikaku to work as it is.

Kakashi, the Nara Clan does not find it amusing for you to claim the darkness is coming every time they use any of their clan techniques.

Rin, you will not have any Nara put Kakashi in a modified Kage Shibari again. Especially if you dressed him in drag beforehand, again.

Minato, once again, what is it with Rin and dressing her team mates up in drag? We’re beginning to wonder if the allegations of her having a thing for okama are true.