What Naruto Is Not Allowed To Do - Chapter 6 Team Sannin

Listen up you three, we don’t care if Hanzo declared you the Sannin, you won’t paint your faces on the Hokage Monument, with you names added. Yes, we know it was you, now clean it off!

There is no pwnage no jutsu, Orochimaru, so quit shouting it out during battle.

No, Tsunade, you can’t give Jiraya a sex change, no matter how much he irritates you.

Jiraya, quit peeping on Tsunade. We can only hold her back for so long before she does carry out her threat.

Orochimaru, ‘You would be surprised at what my snakes can do with their tongues,’ is not an appropriate pickup line.

The same applies to you and your toads, Jiraya.

Sarutobi, it has come to our attention that your students were found passed out, with copious bottles of sake in their possession. While this does happen to genin teams, the fact that Tsunade was naked, Jiraya was in a girl’s yukata, and Orochimaru was suspended from a tree with his rear end visible for all to see. They were found like this in public. It makes us wonder if you can keep your students under control.

Jiraya, Tsunade, and Orochimaru are not allowed to purchase alcohol.

Flirting with the Uchiha women will not make them take the handcuffs off, Orochimaru.

Neither will flirting with the men Tsunade. Also, don’t flash them because you’re better developed than your peers.

Jiraya, doing a strip dance in front of the Uchihas to get your teammates out of that will not happen again. It took three hours to clean up the vomit from the men.

The women molesting you like that, was your own fault, Jiraya.

While we appreciate the skill it took to break into ANBU headquarters, return their uniforms and masks. They need them to do their jobs.

Orochimaru, you will not hang academy students above Manda’s open mouth just because they annoyed you.

Can one of you explain why, when he woke up, the Hokage found himself with blue hair, in a woman’s yukata, and wearing a makeup job fit for a geisha?

You can’t blame another team when you get caught in the act Jiraya.

Tsunade, when you run after Jiraya trying to give him certain piercings and catch him, don’t try to carry it out in public!

We don’t want to know why you did it, just clean up the mess and make sure it doesn’t happen again Orochimaru.

Having detailed conversations about how to remove an enemy nin’s organs is not a proper conversation topic to have in front of academy students.

No Jiraya, we will not change the kunoichi uniform to leather and stiletto heels.

You will not walk around the village in the aforementioned articles of clothing, either, Orochimaru. We don’t care if it was for a bet.

Painting pornographic images on the Hokage monument is not funny, Jiraya.

Jiriaya, you are to stop indicating Orochimaru is a pedophile and into boys. Its against regulations to spread unproven rumors about fellow comrades.

Jiriaya, please do not use our spies within in other villages to find out the bust size of other kunochis. Build your own spy network if you want to know.

Due to sign petition by the majority of Kunochis, and their husbands, fathers and brothers, any woman is allowed to beat up on those peeping on them as long as they are on the list of perverts, otherwise they must be detained. The list include Sarutobi (redacted after he became Hokage), and Jiriaya.

Tsunade , you are forbidden from hitting anyone with your chakra enhance strength for being a quote “Pervert.” Using your regular strength is allowed so long as it doesn’t put them in the hospital.

Tsunade is not allowed alcohol on the job, especially when is doing surgery.

Tsunade, would you like to explain the fifty thousand yen debt you accumulated over a day in the Fire Country capital.

While we are happy you take a interest in our youth, many parents are creep out by your interest in them Orochimaru, so to avoid an indecent your forbidden from visiting the academy, parks and orphanages without supervision.

Orochimaru, your are not allowed anywhere near Anko with supervision. You know what you did to her, you have derange her enough as it is and we don’t want the pedophile rumors to start up, again.