When I Loved You - CH 178

She ceaselessly wiped her tears as she continued to read.

‘Shitty Yoon. Too simple-minded. Like an idiot. I hope she learned what happens when you become too nosy without any care for yourself after this time.  I hope she doesn’t make a mistake like this again by poking her nose into others’ business. She tends to view the world as if it’s full of hope, but the world isn’t how she thinks it is. Whatever she thinks about it is a delusion.

The school isn’t a place where people have common sense, Shitty Yoon. You’re so simple-minded. You’re too smart, and the shitty kids won’t like a kid like you when you’re way smarter than them. They’ll only think about using you. But I will patiently stay silent, knowing that you wouldn’t listen to me even if I said something. But I hope you’ll learn what I mean from this experience.

Don’t ever poke your nose into anything related to me. Don’t interfere in my business. Don’t get into danger because of me. I never thought that I could go crazy, but I experienced it for the first time. I almost went crazy while I waited for a call from the bodyguard…’

Yiyoung put down the diary, and wiped her incessant tears. This entry was about the time she had been dragged around the city and publicly shamed by the other students. Muyeol’s anger and concern were stored in the diary in the form of his writing.

But back then, when she returned to school, she remembered that all he had said was, “Look at you. So naive.”

She also remembered the way she had cursed at him in her thoughts after that. Yiyoung caught her breath before picking up the diary again.

‘Shitty Yoon just blabbered some nonsense about helping me? Who is she to determine that I might need her help? She really doesn’t know her place. She can be a bit quick-witted, but sometimes… Because she’s way too simple-minded, she could probably only focus on one thing at a time. She was trying to pay back what she owed me by saying that. But, a deal is a deal.

From this point onward, you owe me your life. You made a promise to me, not knowing the kind of person I am, but you will know one day. Once I get a reason to make you fulfill the promise, I’m going to find you right away. And then you’ll try to fulfill it even though you’ll hate it because you’re so simple-minded, Yoon Yiyoung. I trust you because I’ve never seen anyone else who fulfills their promises like you do.’

She now understood why Muyeol was so confident when he’d asked her to marry him.

The diary went on. For every day, the entry started and ended with ger. His day wouldn’t begin without writing about her. She’d been getting all his attention, and this attention was his love for Yiyoung.

The entry in the diary then reached their high school years.

‘Shitty Yoon’s classroom is…’

Yiyoung’s lips curved up, knowing that it was still about her.

‘It’s been a while since Yiyoung came to school. I saw her from a distance, but she looked like she’d lost weight. She seemed exhausted when she was walking. But she was impressive. I was nervous that she would give up everything after her mother’s death. Her mother had been Yiyoung’s mental support, someone who made her move forward no matter what. I was worried she would end up losing herself, but she held on.

I’m sorry if I’m being disrespectful. I’m sorry that you passed away. I hoped there would be a miracle, but it didn’t happen… So I’m sorry.

But if you’re watching over Yiyoung now, please help her endure. Please help her nail the midterm next week, and help her show herself off to others through her test results.

I know Yoon Yiyoung never gives up, she only pauses. That’s how she gains the strength to move forward. Please don’t let her lose her purpose in life. I’m so sorry for being nosy myself…’

She just needed to love him more in the future, express feelings more to love more. Muyeol had been silent back then, and she recalled that on that day, he had waved at her as a greeting. That was it.

It would have been so much better if Muyeol had expressed his feelings to her. It seemed like he was madly in love with her then.

But there was nothing Yiyoung could do now. It had already happened, and was in the past. She just needed to love him more in the future, and express her feelings more to love him more.