Why Are You Becoming a Villain Again? - Chapter 113
The decision for war had been made, and evening came. We agreed to start the full-scale preparations from tomorrow. No matter how insignificant a family may seem compared to the Prysters, war is still war.
A battle where lives are at stake can’t be hastily prepared.
Preparing the weaponry, training the soldiers, declaring war, summoning vassal families, and more…
There was just too much to consider.
Of course, this being my first war, there were many unfamiliar aspects. It was overwhelming for me, who had only learned swordsmanship, to lead and prepare. My grandmother, who had experienced several wars, promised to help, but it likely wouldn’t be enough.
“……”
I pushed the complex thoughts aside. There will be time to worry from tomorrow.
After consulting a physician about my wounds, I joined Judy in the garden, where flowers bloomed. We sat at a small table and had a simple meal to fill our stomachs.
“…..I’ll go with you, Cayden.”
At the mention of the impending war, Judy spoke.
Naturally, I cut her off sharply.
“No.”
But her stubbornness did not waver.
“I refuse. I want to fight by your side.”
“Do you forget sometimes? You’re from our rival family. Would you really fight under the Pryster’s banners and flags?”
“…….”
At my words, Judy froze. I looked up at her, wondering if I had silenced her, but her face was gradually turning red.
“…..?”
She seemed to be struggling to speak, as if she had something important to say.
After a moment, she spoke in a whisper, her voice lacking confidence.
“…….What’s the big deal about fighting under the Pryster flag when one day I’ll be under you anyway…?”
“Pfft!”
Her words made me spit out my food, which landed back in the bowl.
“Cough! Cough! Cough!”
She watched my reaction, her face still flushed, a trembling smile playing on her lips.
It was clear that this was her revenge for my usual pranks, but she seemed to have no sense of moderation.
Suddenly, she appeared different to me. Had she always been capable of such remarks? Or was it because she hadn’t played pranks before? It seemed like she lacked control over the extent of her words.
Such words would typically be expected from the boisterous young men in the knights’ academy. Given that Judy was from the same academy, perhaps she had picked this up from someone else.
“Cough! Cough…!”
She had definitely landed a solid hit on me. I couldn’t find any words to respond, just kept coughing.
“…Ahem..ahem.”
Seeing my flushed face, Judy wore a satisfied smile before clearing her throat to change the atmosphere.
“…Anyway. The hostility between our families is a story of our ancestors. You and I…we were close enough to discuss marriage.”
“……”
“And even though we’re from rival families…you showed me that we can be a strength to each other. You were the first to say: ‘Let’s get along even though we’re from hostile families.’”
I took a sip of water and acted as if I hadn’t heard her earlier remark, forcing the conversation back to its original tone.
During all this time, the words I had spit out earlier completely undermined my attempts to dissuade Judy from joining me in the war.
Even so, it was just that I was not good with words, not that there was any reason for Judy to join me in the war. In fact, it was odd for her to even consider it.
“Don’t talk nonsense. Why would you involve yourself in our war?”
“…If I can’t even protect the one I love, then why did I learn to wield a sword…?”
At those words, I was stopped in my tracks.
This time, there was no hint of jest in her voice.
Looking up at her, I saw she was gazing at me with deep eyes.
For a while, we exchanged looks, and then Judy stood up and leaned towards me.
Softly, our lips met.
“…Ha.”
Seeing Judy’s boldness, I couldn’t help but smile. Her kiss contributed to the warmth spreading across my face.
Judy, too, sat down again with a natural smile.
“…Anyway, it’s not happening. Got it? That’s the end of this discussion.”
Before I got further drawn into Judy, I picked up my plate and stood up.
Judy, who hadn’t finished eating, seemed flustered and tried to hold me back to continue the conversation, but I quickly moved my legs to leave the garden.
“Cayden, we’re not done talking..!”
As I was leaving, my eyes caught sight of something that made my legs freeze.
In the meantime, Judy had picked up her plate and approached me, grabbing my shoulder.
“Cayden….”
But Judy, just like me, stopped in her tracks.
“……Keirsey.”
I said.
Keirsey was standing behind a pillar leading to the garden.
As soon as our eyes met, Keirsey flinched, as if she had committed a sin.
Behind her, the servants stood quietly. Perhaps they had been out for a walk.
I was so taken aback that I forgot she couldn’t speak and asked her a question.
“…..Can you get up?…..Are you feeling alright?”
“….Uh…uhh..?”
Keirsey’s eyes shifted back and forth between Judy and me. Her pupils trembled violently, and I could see the pain and sadness etched on her face.
I closed my eyes tightly.
Keirsey had seen our actions.
“…..”
There was no reason for me to be restless, but now that I knew Keirsey loved me and that her health was deteriorating, it was a scene I did not want her to witness.
Judy seemed to understand my feelings, as she removed her hand from my shoulder and started to compose herself.
“…..Ah……uh….”
Even though Keirsey couldn’t articulate her words, I felt like I could hear her. I knew her well enough to understand.
“Ah….um…”
Trying to find the right words, she blinked rapidly and thought hard.
But her ability to communicate was limited. Realizing this, she eventually showed the same sorrowful smile she had shown before.
“…..Ehehe…”
It was a smile that seemed to congratulate us. Her mouth smiled, but her eyes were reddening.
As I had felt before, a lot had changed for Keirsey. In the past, she would have scolded me, but now she witnessed our close interaction and still managed a smile.
My heart tightened at her smile.
Before the situation could deepen, I quickly changed the subject.
“Look, Keirsey. It’s nice to see you out for a walk, but you should really rest for now. Let’s go back. Haven’t you skipped a meal?”
Keirsey nodded in response to my words, her hard-won smile fading as she followed my lead and turned around.
“Judy, go back to your room and rest. Like I said, I need to take care of my siblings now.”
“Ah, right. Yeah. Okay, Cayden. See you later.”
Judy quickly bid me goodbye, adapting to the situation.
I grabbed the empty bowl she held and stacked it with mine.
“Oh, Lord Cayden, let me take that…!”
A servant who had followed Keirsey hurriedly took the bowls from me.
I thanked her and handed over the bowls.
After a final farewell to Judy, I turned to join Keirsey and her entourage.
Keirsey’s mood had noticeably darkened. Seeing the person she loved kissing another woman, it was impossible for her to be in high spirits.
Quietly, I asked a servant walking beside me.
“….How did Keirsey end up here? Did she want to go for a walk?”
If she had initially planned to move, she would have communicated it in writing to her servant. I wanted to know why she had come out like this.
The servant, hearing my whisper, lowered her voice in response.
“She…wanted to find you, Lord Cayden…”
Ah, I see.
Hearing that answer, I closed my eyes. The story cut deeper into my heart than I had anticipated.
She must have dragged her ailing body around in search of me, only to witness me kissing Judy…
I ended the conversation with the servant and stole a glance at Keirsey.
She seemed lost in thought about the earlier scene, walking listlessly with a dazed expression.
“….Sigh.”
I let out a sigh so faint, no one else could hear it.
****
Keirsey and Asena shared a room.
Feeding them both at lunch, I realized it was inconvenient to care for them in the same room separately since I had to feed them both anyway. It seemed only right to split the caregiving, especially since Keirsey could get up.
I wanted Asena, who was ill, to rest more comfortably.
Keirsey made a pitiful face at the suggestion of leaving my bed, but there was no helping it, as Asena couldn’t even get up.
Besides, with me around, there was no need for Keirsey to seek my presence in the bed anymore.
Returning to her room with Keirsey, I started feeding her first.
“Ah.”
Keirsey opened her mouth to accept the food I offered.
When I suggested she try eating on her own, she nodded and attempted it. However, she was so weak that I ended up feeding her with a spoon.
“Ah.”
Every time she swallowed the food, I brought the spoon to her lips, speaking “Ah,” to her.
Beyond that, an awkward silence lingered. Keirsey couldn’t speak, and I couldn’t find the right words either.
Initially, she was downcast about Judy, but as I fed her, her gaze changed.
From a sad look to one filled with a dense, sweet love.
I felt like I understood what it meant for honey to drip from someone’s eyes.
Just like this morning, she couldn’t take her eyes off me.
Her half-closed eyes, her cheeks reddening more and more, her deepening breaths, and her eyes soaked with longing.
Though her eyes held sadness about us not being together, her heart was still fully invested.
Really, the more I see, the more I realize.
I can’t be absent from her life.
This thought, unknown to anyone else, became increasingly firm in my mind. It was a fact I hadn’t seen until everything turned out this way.
Without me, this girl can’t go on.
“Ah.”
At my word, she opened her mouth like a puppet.
She wouldn’t eat from anyone else, nor on her own. But with my words, Keirsey became compliant.
I kept thinking about what I meant to her.
In the long silence, I searched for what to say.
“….Keirsey, we need to find a way for you to speak again.”
Keirsey opened her mouth briefly… slowly closed it, and nodded.
“…I’ve heard it happened due to shock… They say it will improve gradually. With lots of good memories…”
I was about to say that creating many good memories would help, but I stopped, recalling the incident with Judy.
After a brief pause, I finished my sentence.
“Creating a lot of good memories should help. Once you’re stronger, you should go for walks and such.”
I was also subtly implying that she should try going out without me.
“……”
Keirsey didn’t move her head at my suggestion. She, who usually listened to everything I said, paused for a moment.
She turned towards the table next to her bed, where her paper, ink, and quill were kept.
She dipped the quill in the ink and hesitated for a long time.
Moving the quill to the paper took a while. Writing the first letter took a while. She blinked, seemingly unsure whether to write or not.
I waited in silence.
Finally, after writing something short, she put down the pen and turned away from me.
I leaned over to see what she had written.
Walk together…
The short words trailed off, the ink blurring and fading. It seemed she hadn’t been able to finish what she wanted to write.
Then I heard sobbing and looked up.
Keirsey, with her back turned, was wiping away tears.
I knew why she was doing this.
Before all this happened, she used to go on walks with me every day.
Her voice was still vivid in my memory.
‘Oppa! Let’s go for a walk! Hurry up!’
She used to enter my room so naturally, saying those words with a bright, cheerful smile.
Now, the fact that she had to struggle to express herself in writing might have been deeply disappointing for her.
She kept sobbing, not showing her face to me, clumsily wiping her tears with the back of her hand.
Seeing her like this, my response was almost predetermined.
“…..Alright, don’t cry, Keirsey. Let’s go for a walk together.”
Her body jerked at my words. Then, she took a deep, sob-filled breath before gradually calming down.
“Ah.”
As I picked up the spoon, she cautiously turned her tear-stained face towards me.
Her defenseless face, eyebrows wet with tears, reddened eyes, and an expression of embarrassment.
She revealed to me the expression she had been hiding as she opened her mouth.
“…….”
Seeing her expression, I froze and, despite her open mouth, couldn’t bring myself to put the spoon to her lips.
Without realizing it, I reached out with my other hand to wipe away her tears.
“…..Ah…?”
I pretended not to hear what Keirsey said.
Then, as if nothing had happened, I continued the spoon to her mouth.
.
.
.
.
After she finished eating, I prepared to leave.
“…Rest, Keirsey. You haven’t fully recovered yet… sleep early tonight.”
She nodded.
I stood up and walked towards the door.
“….Ah..!”
Suddenly, Keirsey’s cry stopped me in my tracks.
I turned to look at her.
She called me but did nothing else.
Just looked at me.
“….Do you have something you want to say?”
I gestured towards the quill, suggesting she write down whatever she wanted to say.
But she remained still.
Looking at me with those honey-dripping eyes… with a hint of longing in her expression.
“…..”
I easily recognized her wish.
I hesitated for a moment.
But it was just for a moment.
Just like before, seeing her downcast expression, I knew I would eventually give in, so there was no point in hesitating.
I approached her.
Gently, I touched her silver hair and pulled her forehead towards me.
Unlike usual, I gave her a very light kiss.
“….Now sleep, Keirsey.”
This was our natural way of saying goodbye.
She inhaled sharply and, unlike the smile she had shown during my encounter with Judy, which was only with her lips…
This time, her eyes curved into crescent moons as she shyly smiled.
“……”
Seeing her smile so purely over something so simple made my heart… ache again.
— End Of The Chapter —
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