Why Are You So Obsessed With Rejecting Affection? - Chapter 63

I’ve never seen a quarrel like this. I looked at Deleign with my mouth wide open in complete astonishment.
I was wondering where he could be, but he was here and arguing with the Crown Prince!

“Ah, well, what law of our country states that a guest can’t go to a place the master of the house didn’t give permission to go?”

With crossed legs, Deleign glared at Lucas defiantly.

I instinctively realized that Deleign was comparing what I had told him. He means that it is against the law to hit on someone else’s daughter. I don’t see him at all times, so it seemed like he came here to keep Lucas in check.

‘I have no intention of going back to the Imperial Family even if you don’t do that.’

I think it’s time to hit Deleign’s back, who was dangerously provoking the Crown Prince, but somehow I can understand his feeling, so I didn’t want to show myself. It’s also quite cute of him to protect his younger sister in his own way as an older brother.

“Anyway! Just stay inside, okay? Do you understand? Don’t even think about stepping over there!”

After giving a blatant warning, Deleign said, ‘Then I will go first’.

Silly. I think he wanted to warn him (Lucas) not to go to the inner garden of the main building where I frequent, but that’s even worse. I laughed out loud at Deleign’s mistake.

“Who’s there?”

Standing with an unpleasant expression on his face, Lucas heard my voice and shouted at me with a sharp voice.

‘Oh……!’

I had no intention of meeting you like this!

As I stood up biting my lip with wide eyes, Lucas already ran towards me through the flowers.

“Oh …….”

“How dare y… Shuelina?”

When Lucas found me, his (unpleasant) expression instantly melted. I can only hear him repeatedly muttering ‘oh, oh’ as a delicate smile drifted on his flower-like delicate face.

I should be angry at him for not calling me ‘princess’, but I was overwhelmed by something and speechless when I saw his smiling face that seemed very happy to see me.

“Did you perhaps come to see me?”

Lucas asked me with a smile on his face when I was frozen and didn’t say anything.

“Come on, come on out. The thorns will hurt you.”

Lucas gently reached out to me. Instead of holding his hands, I walked out by myself as I couldn’t bring myself to hold his hands, even if I momentarily lost my mind.

“I greet the Little Lord of the Empire.”

“Don’t say it so harshly. It’s okay to just call me brother Luc so it’s friendlier.” (T/N: Editornim, Luka or Ruka (루카)? I can’t bring myself to give him the nickname Luka because in my language it means ‘crazy’ XD) (e/n: We can go with Luc then, resembles his name better in english anyways)

“Didn’t you also call me princess?”

Biting his lips and tilting his head, Lucas answered with a faint smile.

“Though he’s a hateful type of person, I learned something from the Grand Duke Vaillot’s son.”

“Yes?”

“Seeing him doing that as he protects his little sister… I thought I haven’t done my best to convince you.”

My eyes widened when he talked about Deleign out of nowhere. It sounds like he had been thinking about something very deeply whenever he had a fight with Deleign.

Brother, it backfired! What are you going to do about this!

“Please exclude me from that, as I was only doing my very best. I am really a member of the Vaillot.”

“A member of the Vaillot, you say. Whatever you say is lovely to me, but only those words aren’t.”

“Once a princess, forever a princess!! You called me a princess!”

“That’s fine. Once my little sister is forever my little sister. I should’ve called you little sister first.”

Ugh. He doesn’t really lose as he’s like a soft pudding. I pursed my lips and muttered inwardly, then turned my head.

(T/N: When a person is referred to as ‘a soft pudding’, it means that person doesn’t easily lose a word fight and always having something to counterattack you. )

“I have to go for a walk in the other direction. Then, please have a peaceful evening.”

“….wait! Won’t you go for a walk together? Talking about this and that…”

Ah, I can’t stand it. As I bowed down to say my goodbyes while thinking of disappearing from here, Lucas called me in a desperate voice, with his face full of complex emotions.

“Talk about what?”

“How did you live your life, things like that. I want to know about you.”

“I don’t… uhm…”

I was about to cut him off, but I changed my mind. It was because I thought that if he had a conscience, I could persuade him to leave me alone.

“I have to go back before dinner so I think it will be short.”

Lucas’s complexion brightened as if he didn’t know that I would accept it even after making the offer.

Lucas’ complexion became brighter when I accepted his offer he thought I wouldn’t accept, then he was restless as he told me that my feet would hurt if we walked for a long time. He was acting just like a family member that was worried because I was unable to walk far and my heart somehow softened a little.

“……Then, there is a bench over there.”

We walked up to the bench without a word.

Lucas followed me obediently, spread a handkerchief on the chair, and sat me down.

“How have you been?”

Lucas, who had been watching this for the whole time, wanted to talk to me, sat me down and asked carefully.

Glancing at him sitting next to me, I tilted my head.

“What are you asking?”

“Oh… that. Where have you been living all this time?”

“The orphanage.”

“The orphanage… Father Emperor was definitely looking for you there…”

It must have been that he didn’t have that much intention to find me. I don’t know if Lucas, a young child, believed the Emperor, but I won’t be deceived by that.

Shuelina suffered too many wounds from her biological family in the novel for me to be deceived by those words.

“How were you at the orphanage? Because you are so pretty and kind, everyone must have liked you a lot.”

“No.”

“What? Why?”

“I moved from orphanage to orphanage, and when a newcomer arrives, we will have to share our food. Of course, they would hate me.”

Lucas had a surprised expression on his face as if what I had said was absurd, like he couldn’t believe someone hated me.

I just ignored his expression because I can’t tell him that the people who I hate the most are my biological family.

“Well, then, couldn’t anyone just ask other adults to intervene?”

“No one cares about the life of an orphan. Orphans are not welcome.”

“The director?”

“Directors usually hate kids. They beat them, starve, and even locked them inside the closet.”

“What? There were such rude people? If that is the case, then why are they running an orphanage?”

“They were given subsidies.”

At my words, Lucas made a face as if a bell in his head had rang and he was hit on the head. Then he shut his mouth.

He didn’t speak for a while so I think he was more surprised than I thought.

‘What, why are you so quiet?’

I jumped up in surprise when I tilted my head to the side.

“A-are you c-crying?”

Tears were dripping down from Lucas’ blue eyes and they wet his white cheeks.

No, why are you crying? Surprised by the sudden start of his tears, time seemed to stop for a moment.

Drops of tears fell down onto Lucas’ darkly colored indigo clothes.

Uh, what do I do? Embarrassed, I realized it was time to hand over a handkerchief to wipe his tears, however no matter how much I looked at my sleeves, I couldn’t see my handkerchief.

“Th-this…!”

Reluctantly, I picked up the handkerchief on the bench, held it out, and dropped it in surprise.

Even so, I can’t tell him to use the handkerchief he had sat on to wipe his tears.

Ehh, but this is my favorite dress….

I couldn’t help but tap the corners of Lucas’ eye with the sleeves of my dress.

“I was so hungry that even now my wrists look like this…”

His hand weakly gripped my wrist as I was wiping his tears. Once he got to where the bones of the wrist protruded, another stream of tears fell onto it.

Lucas gently stroked the protruding bone with his thumb as if he was worried about me getting sick; his careful touch didn’t hurt but it felt sad.

“Well, I wasn’t starved that much so I didn’t die and am still alive.”

“Wh-while I-I was eating very well at the I-imperial P-palace, y-you……”

Alas, the tears that had barely stopped started flowing again.

I somehow felt weird, as if the crying face of Lucas was tickling me inside.

‘But why didn’t I hate it?’

What? I wonder if I was moved by him just now, did I even become a little touched??

What is that? Don’t tell me I was moved by him just now to the point that I even felt touched? Wake up! You will go through betrayal again like this! Remember Lucas’ despising words to you like ‘Are you really my little sister?’ and ‘What did you really come here for?’

Though he’s like this now, I don’t know what would happen if we grow up, so it would be better for me to continue to treat Lucas as I have been.

“I won’t say anymore if you keep doing that.”

“Oh yeah, sorry. Then… well, didn’t you want to find your real family?”

Well, unfortunately, Lucas just kept touching the landmines.

I don’t really want to cry, but what would I do if he keeps on asking those things to me?

I blinked my eyes and nodded my head.

“So I found them, and I really love my family!”

Lucas’ face turned pale when I deliberately answered with a face full of smiles.

He gently grabbed my wrist and asked again.

“I mean, your real family – your biological parents and biological older brother.”

“Biological family? I have no other family than my family here.”

“That….”

“Ah, the real family, right? I didn’t think about it. I don’t know. I might have thought about it when I was locked in a closet.”

I answered while twisting my hair with my fingers. Lucas covered his mouth at my words and burst into tears again.

There was no mention of the Crown Prince crying like this in the original story, so he is probably just shocked.

The truth is, ‘I’ always thought of my family. Shuelina never gave up on her family. She always imagined that her family was looking for her nonstop.

Do they miss me and cuddle my baby quilt by chance? Did someone kidnap me? It must’ve been painful for my parents to lose me. Do I have an older sister or an older brother? Are we a harmonious family? Is everyone waiting for me to come back?

When I was locked in a closet… I was always trembling in fear, but I didn’t want my family to find me when I cried like that. If they were to see me looking messed up, it would make me even sadder when I see their trembling faces that lost me.

I want you to think that I am doing really well, that I have the happiest face in the world.

The truth is, she was hoping that someone would save her…. The Shuelina they lost was such a good child.

“The people who saved me from misfortune are my family.”

“I-I can save you now! No, I will make sure that no dangers will befall you!”

Lucas cried out in a desperate voice.

But your little sister, Azuela, whom you say you love so much, is my enemy.

That’s how it was written in the original!!

A younger sister whom you have loved since you were little, and another younger sister who suddenly appeared. Which of the two would you choose?

I couldn’t believe his heart.

“That’s the truth. There wasn’t a day that I didn’t think of you. I’ve been waiting for you eagerly since you were in Mother Empress’ belly.”

If Shuelina had heard those words, the innocent kid would have laughed and held his hand without knowing what kind of future awaited her.

But now I am using this body, and that child has already disappeared. I pouted my lips as I pressed down on my chest for no reason.