Why, Can’t You Eat? - Chapter 51

I can’t sleep. I closed my eyes for a while, but instead of getting sleepy, I only felt depressed. I let out a sigh as I ruffled my tangled hair even more.

Even when wearing the ring, I could use the magic. It was three years ago that I was able to use it naturally as I am now. I was worried that I would lose my sanity because I couldn’t absorb any essence, but I never had to worry about losing magic…

I have no idea what it is. Do I have to wear a veil and use an excuse like ‘I have an injury on my face’? As I was thinking about it, someone knocked on the door.

Knock-knock-knock—

“…….”

I thought my heart stopped beating.

I quickly got out of bed and stood at the door. I couldn’t use magic, so I couldn’t even sense whose presence it was. The only people who could come to my room were Sistine, Miss Maria, and Lucy, but I could not leave in this form.

Knock-knock—

“Who is it?”

I asked quickly as the knock became a little more urgent. And the voice I heard was from someone really unexpected.

“It’s me, me. Please open the door.”

“‘Me’, but who… Damian? How can you even come here— No, wait a minute.”

How did this person get here? But maybe this is alright. I can explain the situation… The moment I was organizing my thoughts, I suddenly remembered how Damian behaved when there were only the two of us.

“…What are you doing here?”

“I will tell you when I go in. Please open the door quickly.”

“I don’t want to. Please tell me from there.”

“Ugh, I’m not really going to do anything. No, I can’t even if I want to now. Okay? Please open up.”

His voice sounded like he was about to cry. What on earth was going on? I was worried, but in the end, I opened the door. The door was in need of oiling and it creaked open. And as soon as there was a little gap, Damian rushed inside and closed the door.

Damian, whose face was blushing, was wearing a maid’s suit.

“…Is cross dressing one of your hobbies?”

“Hell no! I just wanted to come here to the Wind Palace, but Eddie Hyung forced me to wear it! Damn.”

Damian took off the wig while cursing, then he turned to me and widened his eyes. You mean you can’t say no to this? Damian’s face was so stunning that I was laughing out loud, but I hardened my face at his gaze.

“Why are you like that?”

“What? Oh, I woke up and it was back to normal. Strangely, I couldn’t go to work today because I couldn’t use my magic and I couldn’t go out like this.”

“What, was that why you didn’t come out today?”

“Yes. Did you come here for that purpose?”

Was he thinking again that I’ll disappear? I felt weird. In a bad sense. I clenched my fists tightly enough and looked at Damian, but he glanced around the room pretending not to, and he said angrily.

“You’re not one who won’t come out without a word? I was worried that something might have happened.”

“Worried… about me?”

“Why? Am I not allowed to worry?”

“It’s not that, I just thought you had come to take a look because I might have left without a word.”

“You already promised not to?”

Promise. Well, I did promise, but… Somehow, I felt strange again. This time it wasn’t in a bad sense. I asked, looking at him who spoke as if it was too natural.

“Commander, did you eat anything rotten?”

“What are you talking about all of a sudden?”

“No, you’ve been a little strange since last time.”

Damian saw me crying after that dream, something seemed to have changed. Maybe, despite how he looked, he was the kind of person who’s weak to tears? On my part, this was a good thing, because I really hated Damian’s pranks.

“You don’t like it when I act and say whatever I want.”

“Yes.”

“…….”

“…Well, I didn’t know you knew.”

I was taken aback by the unexpected answer. This isn’t it. Why did the words come out so quickly? Watching Damian’s face sullen, I soon spoke again carefully, and he answered as he put his hand behind his neck.

“Ah, fine, fine. Anyway, from now on, I won’t do anything you don’t like.”

“Why?”

“…….”

“…I want to know why.”

I had to keep talking because of the words that just suddenly popped out. Whenever I talk to Damian, it’s as if the distance between us was relatively gone, but it’s not to the extent that I should ask such a question out loud. He asked, who stood silently, pointing to the chair.

“Can I sit down?”

“Huh? Ah, sure. Be comfortable. I have nothing to offer.”

I sat down on the bed watching Damian sit on the chair. Did he put something in his chest pocket? As he sat with his legs spread apart, he groaned, clasped his chin and spoke his words.

“It may sound like an excuse to you, but I actually grew up pretty selfish.”

“Looks like it, though. Ah, sorry…”

“Aren’t you being particularly honest today? Well, I don’t care because it’s good that you’re comfortable.”

Half of it wasn’t really my will, but Damian hesitated and nodded his head. There was a child-like smile on his lips as he spoke again.

“I told you before that I was a paladin candidate, right?”

“Yes.”

“My grandfather is Terra’s high priest. Grandfather also told me about your ring. The first time I met Grandfather was after my parents passed away. Even if he was a priest, it’s not forbidden for them to marry, but it’s still kept at a hush and it’s not talked about openly.”

“Since your grandfather was a high-ranking official, there must have been no one to treat you badly.”

“Yes. There really was such a thing. Besides, I found out as I went there, that I had a lot of talent. I didn’t like that kind of life, so I ended up running away.”

“Did your grandfather catch you?”

“Not at all. He told me the world is wide, so I can do whatever you want. He just said he wants me to be happy wherever I am.”

Damian’s shy smile seemed to show Grandmother’s smile at first glance.

“The people around me said I was a genius, but I grew up doing everything I wanted to do. And you remember, right? You’re my first.”

“…That’s something that I didn’t really want to know.”

“Wow, you’re too mean.”

Even if I said that, Damian seemed happy. He said it’s good to be comfortable, so maybe that’s why? He straightened his legs and rubbed the tips of his bangs with his fingers.

“I didn’t know what to do. Because I’ve always been used to doing my own thing, and nobody ever said they didn’t like it. I thought you’d not like it, but I never thought you’d cry like that. Sorry.”

He said hesitatingly, staring at me. I’ve felt it before, but saying I’m sorry to me wasn’t quite the right target. I looked at him silently and nodded my head.

“I’m sure you won’t do it again in the future.”

Although I was not in a position to speak up to Odil or Ares, it was clear that Damian had been rude to me. And it was clear that he was sorry. Well, he apologized. I can’t believe he came all the way here like this.

“Am I that funny?”

“…….”

“Well, I can tell by looking at your face. But this isn’t my hobby. Alright?”

“I know. Is that all you have to say?”

“What? Oh right. Don’t you know how long you have to be like this?”

“No. It’s the first time something like this has happened.”

I don’t think there will be any problems with the library if I’m away, but I couldn’t stay like this forever. When I sighed, Damian, who was thinking about something, came to me. I wondered if he had something to say, but I asked him first as he was hardly able to say anything.

“Why?”

“It’s not because I mean to do something different.”

“What?”

“That, uh, the pattern on your stomach. Can I check it out?”

“…….”

“No, it’s not because I’m going to do something!”

“You didn’t even ask before, you just went ahead and did that.”

I was angry that he acted so recklessly. Thinking of that time, as I spoke my words, Damian bit his lip and lowered his head.

“I’m sorry. Really.”

“Commander… Are you sure you didn’t eat anything rotten? Is it possible for people to change like this? Originally, you did everything you wanted without caring whether I liked it or not, right?”

“I made up my mind. It’s better that you smile than cry.”

So it’s better to smile than to cry… I covered my face with my palms and sighed. I can’t even say that it’s burdensome because he speaks with a very serious face. After hearing those embarrassing words, my cheeks started to get hot again.

“…Go ahead.”

He’s the one who recognized me as a succubus as soon as he saw me at just one glance, even when I was in the form of a handmaid. He was convinced after seeing the pattern, and as I nodded my head thinking that he might know something, he reached out with a very serious face.

I rolled up my skirt, tilting my body a little. The mark was still the same as when I checked it before. Damian, who was kneeling in front of me, made a small groan.

“Can I touch it?”

“It’s okay as long as you don’t press too hard.”

Seeing that I returned to this form, I must have absorbed the energy yesterday as well, so it seemed that I would not react unless it was given too much stimulation. And the moment his finger touched perhaps the most sensitive part of my body, my body shuddered.

“Does it hurt now?”

“What? Oh no. It’s not like it hurts.”

“So it didn’t hurt.”

He pressed on the flesh with a little more force. It wasn’t as sensitive as I thought it would be, but it was still embarrassing. As I lowered my gaze a little, I exhaled a small breath on his face, which looked like he had no other plans, just as he had said.

And as soon as Damian raised his face, I looked at the other place in surprise.

“Why are you sneaking a peek?”

“I’m not sneaking.”

“Hmm?”

“…So, why did you ask to see it?”

As soon as Damian got up, I immediately lowered my clothes. When talking, look at the mouth… remembering what Maria had told me, I asked again but he looked puzzled. Was there a problem?

“Do you remember when you first met me? It sounds like you don’t want to think about it, but you said it hurts when I grabbed your wrist.”

“…That seemed to be the case.”

It got blurry over time, but I remember it clearly the first time we met. He nodded as I replied, recalling the tingling in my arm that had been grabbed by Damian.

“At that time, my body was flowing with divine energy. That must have been why you were hurt. After that, I was careful when I slept with you, but just now you said it didn’t hurt. A succubus’s magical power is concentrated there, so it has to react to even a little stimulation, right? I even used divine power.”

“That means…”

“Are you not a succubus anymore?”

“…What?!”

“Are you asking me that?”

“Oh no, that’s… There was no sign. So suddenly?”

It’s ridiculous. Well, Grandmother didn’t say anything, and if she said anything else, it may be the unpleasant phenomenon of my memory disappearing when Lilith took over my body.

But, as if I had suddenly become a succubus, my heart began to race when I thought that I might have suddenly returned to my human form.

“It’s not the first time I’ve seen a mixed-race succubus, but you said you didn’t know much about your body either. Maybe that could be.”

“I hope so. Please, be so…”

“…What are you going to do with the ring?”

“If I don’t become a succubus, I won’t need it anymore, but it’s my grandmother’s keepsake, so I want to find it if possible. Could you please let me know what is going on?”

My lips trembled with tension and excitement. Damian smiled vaguely.