Wife’s Funny Life - Chapter 1

The sky had already passed autumn, and the heat was still hot. There was a tea stand under a big tree at the entrance of the village, and a few old fellows were sitting there idly chatting.

“Have you heard? Old Xu’s foolish daughter is about to be married off! ” One of them was bare-chested. He casually rubbed his hand into his stomach and was covered in a layer of black, greasy sweat. He seemed to be used to this action and kept rubbing his hands repeatedly.

“It can’t be? That silly girl, that silly look, someone wanted it? The Xu couple were gone. That silly girl might just be thinking about her family’s fortune and be tricked into selling her in the city … “I heard that there’s a street full of girls in the city. Even the most beautiful ones can squeeze out milk, tsk tsk …” Another old man said while laughing, his face filled with a wretched look of yearning.

“Third Elder Chen, with your moral character, you still want your daughter? Aren’t you afraid that your old cow will milk you to death?” The surrounding people also burst out in laughter. Chen Ol ‘Three’s wife was fat, and she weighed twice as much as Ol’ Three. Then what about the room … Hehe … Everyone laughed.

The group of people continued with their rambling, and the initial topic of discussion had been completely lost.

Not far away, the silly girl from the Xu family was wearing a pair of flowery pants and a flowery shirt with long sleeves. Not far away, the silly girl from the Xu family, whom they were talking about, was wearing a pair of flowery pants and a flowery shirt with long sleeves.

Leaving aside her rustic clothes, silly Xu really did not look like a country girl. Her mouth was small, but when she smiled, she revealed exceptionally cute canines, her earlobes were light pink and bright, even better than someone’s jade earrings.

Of course, it was hard to tell if the fortune-teller was accurate or not, because the fortune-teller was the silly girl Xu’s father, Old Xu. Old Xu was not a professional fortune-teller, and was originally a pig slaughterer in the city. He had a lot of money, but hearing that he had offended someone, he moved to his hometown, bought a few land, and started living as a landowner.

Old Master Xu liked to take off his clothes and touch his bones the most. Of course, the conditions are limited. Touching a small hand is also fine … However, when Master Xu arrived at the riverside village, he discovered that there were all sorts of big women. Their hands were thicker than his, and their chests were quite large, but with a swing, they could knock him out … Normally, he would just be speaking the truth and didn’t dare to make a move.

Everyone in this village knew what sort of virtue he had. If they came from another village, they would probably be duped by him. In the past, he loved to come to the tea stand under the big tree at the entrance of the village to dupe people. One had to know that there weren’t many people who could read these days. Those who could read were all Elementary Scholars and were quite awe-inspiring …

Once, a foreigner came and was cajoled by Master Xu to kneel down on the spot, wanting to acknowledge him as his teacher, but Master Xu flipped through the books, excited to find whether today’s day was suitable or not. After a long time, the foreigner was also sweating profusely from being forced to kneel by Master Xu, and when he finally stood up to help, he saw that Master Xu had actually overturned the book … The outsider fainted straight away… Kneeling for too long.

After that, Master Xu didn’t like carrying books anymore, but once again, a foreigner came to ask for directions. Old Master Xu was very old, so he pointed at that person and said, “Today is not a good day to travel, or else there will be trouble.”

That person cursed, “Are you sick? Let’s go.” However, a few days later, that foreigner brought a pig to Old Xu’s house, saying it was thanks to the living immortal. It turned out that he went out to pick up someone that day, and was delayed in Riverside Village for a while. He was late, and just as he was feeling annoyed, he heard that someone on the road had been robbed by bandits, and even killed someone.

At this point, Old Xu, this fortune-teller, had made quite a name for himself, and some people felt that he had some skills. For example, Old Xu’s wife, as a landlady, was a mahjong [1], and heard from her husband that her daughter was blessed. Every time she played mahjong, she would always keep her daughter by her side.

Coincidentally, there had been one or two times when Xu Silly Girl had been unwell and hadn’t brought her along, but Lady Xu had lost so miserably that one of her cards had made all three of them give up, resulting in a barrage of three shots …

After this, Lady Xu would always bring her daughter along with her every time she played mahjong, allowing her to crawl around as she pleased! It was unknown if it was because Xu Daxian had seen too much, but all she could hear was the sound of someone rubbing his ear. She looked a little dazed, and her reaction was always two beats slower than others.

The outsider Old Xu had coaxed was surnamed Wu, and was a rich family in Wutai Village. Since then, the two families had been on good terms.

He had specially sent his son to the private school to study for ten years. His son’s grades in the private school were not bad, and Old Wu had originally been hoping for his son to become a top scorer in high school, but when he finished his private school, he realized that the country had canceled the imperial examinations. His son, Wu Anguo, was so angry that he ran away to become a soldier instead of studying in the private school … Old Wu couldn’t stop him, his family only had a single child, so he gave a huge sum of money like a bloodbath to the captain of the county’s security regiment. The captain took the money and saw that the child could be considered cultured.

Wu Anguo was a capable man, and he managed to become the Battalion Commander in just a few years’ time. He managed hundreds of men under him and left every year without showing any face, saying that he had gone for a revolution. Old Wu was so angry that her legs were trembling. Bastard, your father has already arranged marriage for you. You can’t leave until you’re done!

Leaving Old Wu with no pigtails, Old Wu had no choice but to pick up the bride for her son. She happened to pass by Riverside Village and was delayed by Old Xu. When she arrived late, she heard that the bride was gone and the bandits left …

Afterwards, the blissful landlord, Master Xu, and the landlady, Lady Xu, suddenly wanted to tame him one day. Eh, it could also be a field battle, or it could even be a whim of Old Xu to choose a Feng Shui treasured land after his death and bury him together with his wife, so that all eight generations of his ancestors would be illuminated in the future …

In the end, Old Xu and Lady Xu’s wishes were immediately realized — bandits passing by and cutting them two times. They just so happened to be in the Feng Shui Treasure Arena selected by Old Xu. There really were mountains, there were rivers, there were flowers, and there were grass.

He had left behind a daughter, her real name was Xu Bao, and her nickname was Xu Silly Girl.

Old Wu had no doubts about Old Xu’s fortune-telling skills. Old Xu had said that his daughter, Xu Baowang, was fortunate. Old Wu was the second person in his life, excluding the mahjong grandma, Lady Xu.

In addition, Old Xu was also very much to his liking. Thus, he made the decision and said to the silly girl Xu, “Niece of the world, you’re the only one left now. How about you marry my son?”

Xu Dang thought for a while and asked, “Then will we still have meat to eat in the future?”

Old Wu was taken aback and nodded her head. Of course, their family had money, but they did have meat.

Thus, Xu Dang Niu nodded and smiled, revealing her small canine teeth. She was very simple and cute.

Old Wu was exasperated. When she looked at this girl’s joyful agreement with a face full of yearning, he was a little hesitant. Was his decision really right …

However, the words had already left his mouth. The superstitious Old Wu looked at the round earlobes of her daughter’s ears and smiled foolishly. She was actually very happy. She suppressed that strange feeling and went to prepare for the marriage.

The marriage ceremony was very grand. All the people in the entire town had been invited, and the only thing missing was the groom … Old Wu’s hands were trembling as she held up her son’s telegram: Busy! Nonsense! The bride has legs!

He almost vomited blood as he followed Old Xu …

At this moment, the bride-to-be was sitting at the entrance of the village, looking at the people talking under the big tree. It was unknown what she was thinking. Listening to that group of people talking, if Old Wu wants to marry that silly girl as her daughter-in-law, she probably has her eyes on her family’s money. A girl with so much money, if it was me, I would be willing to marry …

Xu Qing didn’t get angry. She just sat there in a daze with a smile on her face. It was just like when she sat here and watched her father arrogantly hoodwink others while being mocked by others. It seemed very funny.

When the villagers at the village entrance saw this silly girl, they all giggled. No wonder they called her that. Other people said that she was that happy.

The next day, Xu Bao put on a red wedding dress, which Old Wu had invited the best embroidery lady in the village to make. The next day, Xu Bao put on a red wedding dress, which Old Wu had invited the best embroidery lady in the village to make. This was the daughter-in-law of Old Wu’s family, she definitely couldn’t treat him unfairly … He didn’t know if it was to refute the rumors that he had stolen Old Xu’s property, or if it was because of his unfilial son’s marriage that he had not shown up.

On the day of their wedding, Xu Bao was very quiet. He wore a happy suit, and his entire body seemed to be moist. Indeed, good fortune was pressing upon him. The more Old Wu looked, the more satisfied she became. After they treated her to dinner, she had her bride sent off.

The bride was very well-behaved. When she found out that the groom couldn’t come to escort her, she didn’t complain at all. She just said that she wanted to see her parents before she left. Old Wu could be considered a sensible person, but she was also happy about it, so she nodded in agreement.

The bride-to-be then took a detour to the Feng Shui treasure that Old Xu had chosen. She leisurely lit a candle and kowtowed three times. On a hot day like this, she was wearing a thick wedding dress and her forehead was covered in sweat. She didn’t bother to wipe the sweat off as it flowed into her eyes. As a result, her eyes became blurry and she started crying again.

The ninny burst into tears for a while before stopping. Only then did she realize that the surroundings had become very quiet. Opening her eyes, she saw a group of vicious bandits standing in front of her, maliciously looking at her entire body.

“Boss, this really is a treasure trove of feng shui. The last time we rested here, there was a bride. The last time we met a couple of landlords, I didn’t expect there would be another bride …” Bandit A said excitedly!