Wild Young Princess: Mister, let’s sleep? - Chapter 194

Devon had always felt that her father, David Lin, never saw her as his daughter. If anything, she always got this feeling that he only saw her as his competitor. So, as she grew up, she started embracing how her father looked at her. She would challenge him with every opportunity she got, and he eventually tossed her abroad.

All that came right after being thrown abroad created more distance between her and her father. She wasn’t hopeful anymore to get an ounce of affection from her father — she gave that up long ago.

Still, after being a ghost, she couldn’t help but wonder why David Lin hated her that much. Even Daryl, her good-for-nothing second brother, wasn’t being treated as badly as her. Then she finally got her answer.

Her grandfather, who loved her with all his heart, was her real father. Although her grandfather didn’t confess the truth even in the end, she heard it from the nanny that looked after her grandfather all these years. She heard everything as a ghost who was present around them.

If not for the fact that she was a ghost with no actual feelings, the truth would devastate Devon. That was why… she hated being back in this body. Because she had to feel everything once again.

“Are you okay?” Devon snapped her eyes when Lewis spoke. She turned her head to him, who was sitting on his spot in the van next to the open spot for her wheelchair.

“Mhm.” She nodded, peeling her eyes away from him. “I already gave them a heads-up. I’m sure they will rather talk to their lawyers and try to make me look like I am only after my inheritance.”

“Not that. I am asking if you are okay,” Lewis stressed with a sigh, staring at her side profile. After she exited the study, Devon’s eyes were once again full of nothing but sadness. It worried him.

“I am not,” came out a weak confession as she slowly set her eyes back to him. Her eyes sweltered, swallowing down the building tension in her throat.

“Lu, did you know? I will drop this matter if they ask me what happens to my legs, but they didn’t. They don’t care, or rather, asking for my well-being was never important to them.” Devon chuckled in ridicule, shaking her head weakly as she gripped the armrest of her wheelchair. “I hate them, but when I came back… I hate myself more for hoping they would at least care a bit.”

Lewis’s eyes softened as his brows lowered. His lips parted, but no words came out. Words were not enough to comfort her, so he kept his mouth shut, but kept his ears and mind open.

“I didn’t ask to be born… so why does everyone want me dead?” she questioned under her breath. That question also applied to her. It was not that death didn’t scare her; It scared the living hell out of her. But so was living.

Devon took a deep breath as she looked away, sporting a brave front even when tears were rolling down her cheek. She wiped them with the back of her hand, exhaling sharply from her mouth.

“I feel very shitty,” she muttered through her gritted teeth as her lower lip trembled. She looked up at him, forcing a smile.

“I want to see my grandpa.”

Lewis let out a shallow breath and nodded. “Sure.”

******

As promised, Lewis took her to her grandpa’s mausoleum and stayed outside. He wanted to give her some time alone, knowing she would cry her frustration to the dead. Lewis looked at the entrance and sighed, feeling helpless at this point.

“Why does everyone want her dead…? Does she always think like that?” he wondered under his breath, balling his hand into a fist. He was guilty as charged because, at one point, he wished she stayed dead because of the Princess he yearned.

But now… Lewis could only regret thinking like that before. He was suffering because of losing the Princess, but so was Devon. It wasn’t her fault that she returned to her body. It was never Devon’s fault for living.

She didn’t steal the Princess’s life nor did she want to. Devon was just a pitiful soul who was unwillingly thrust back into her body. She wasn’t the culprit, for she was the victim of this world that she had been trying to run away from.

‘I don’t deserve her…’ he thought with bitterness filling his eyes. ‘neither her family nor this world deserves her.’

******

Meanwhile, Devon lit up a candle for her grandpa and stared at his portrait for a long time in silence. She wasn’t praying or thinking, as her mind was blank. She just stared at the portrait, smiling weakly.

“Grandpa, I visited the Lin Family today,” she whispered and recalling everything that happened there. “They hadn’t changed a bit. They still amuse me with everything they do and say.”

Her bitter chuckle echoed inside the Lin Family mausoleum, reminding her she was all alone. With this realization, her waves of chuckle shook as tears stained her cheek. She wheeled herself closer to her grandfather’s portrait, reaching for it and embracing it.

“Help me, Papa…” came out a muffled call for help, tightening her grip around the frame as if this would make her feel his warmth. “I’m so scared… of myself. I’m scared of being alone… I… need you.”

Her body trembled as she choked on her tears, feeling this excruciating pain in her heart she had always wanted to kill. It was something she couldn’t explain in words, but she was familiar with it. Meeting the Lin Family just brought back a lot of emotions in her heart, which she already knew beforehand.

Devon thought she was prepared for it, but she was wrong. Seeing David Lin’s gaze after many years, talking to Madam Su, who was the person who made Devon hate herself, her brothers and sisters, who had done worse than her and yet, still being protected by their father.

It was unfair. They only made her feel that she was an outsider, had been, and would always be. She was already aware of that, but it still hurt her.

Hence, she missed her grandfather, who was her actual father. The only person who actually valued her and made her feel she was important, needed.

“Come back and tell me everything will be okay…” she hiccuped as tears and snot mixed on her face. “… just… one more time. Even just for ten seconds, I need to hear your voice, Papa.”

Devon pleaded, calling all the gods’ names to grant her this one wish. Just this one wish to let her talk to her grandpa just one more time. It doesn’t matter how short or long it was, she just wanted to see him once again. But the world doesn’t work that way.

All she heard was the echo of her sniffles and muffled cries. “Please… someone… give my Papa back…”

“It’s okay.”

Suddenly, a soft whisper caressed her ears. Devon paused, gazing down at the arms wrapped around her as someone was hugging her from her back. She didn’t care who it was, but her tears streamed even harder at her soothing voice.

“It’s okay, Lin Devon,” said the ghost softly, patting her shoulder while resting her cheek on top of her head. “I’m sorry I am not your Papa, but I want to tell you that everything will be okay.”

The ghost, the Princess, smiled weakly as she hummed a soft tune. She remembered that Devon sang her a song before to soothe her, so she was doing the same. She couldn’t offer her warmth, but she wished her voice would reach her heart. She was still unaware that Devon could hear and see her arms wrapped around her, as the former didn’t react that strongly.

“Not everyone wants you dead, Devon,” the Princess whispered in a soothing voice. “I wish you to live life to the fullest. To be able to accept things the way they are, move on, smile candidly, love, and be loved back. I wish that a day will come where you will look forward to waking up every morning, that you will feel relieved to be alive, and to realize that there is more in life than pain.”

“How?” Devon asked, startling the ghost at her sudden inquiry. The irony is that the ghost was the one getting startled instead of her. She moved her head back, surprised to see a goddess consoling her.

The Princess smiled beautifully as soon as their eyes met. “Hello.”

“This is how you look like? Wow… You’re so pretty.” Devon hiccuped while the Princess chortled at her usual silliness. The latter walked in front of her and cupped her cheek. She tried wiping her tears with her thumb but to no avail.

“The only thing I regret about not having a body is I can’t wipe your tears,” she said as she smiled bitterly, holding Devon’s gaze and sighed. “Ghost Lin, I mean, Lin Devon, I think I finally figured out why I was thrust into your body.”

“Hmm?”

The princess smiled, closed-lipped. “That is for you to see life the way I saw it.” She had been watching Devon and Lewis as a wandering ghost. She was there, witnessing their pain, struggles, and everything. And the more she saw it from a watcher’s point, the more she was convinced of this theory.

“Lin Devon, there are people who love you even at your worst. You just have to look closely to see it.” She smiled kindly. “I am one of them, Lin Devon. I love you, for I am you and you are me.”

The Princess bent over and kissed her forehead.. For a second, Devon felt the softness of her lips.