Without Me - Chapter 39 Chapter 38

Yao Xi gave the nurse the phone with a polite nod and returned to her ward.

She was alone again. Never before had loneliness bothered her, on the contrary, loneliness was like her second nature, but today she felt uncomfortable.

Yao Xi’s wounds were healing properly and although they still hurt a bit, she felt pretty good. She could have been discharged home, but where could she go? Return to the villa Li Ye Han’s ? She was not ready for it yet. She decided to be assertive and self-confident, but when the moment came Yao Xi came to fear. She was afraid she would not stand it and her strong resolve would fall when she was back in front of the devil again. And she wanted nothing more than to free herself from his claws.

Yao Xi quite unknowingly grabbed the card and the pen. Driven by some mysterious, mystical and unknown force that guided her hand, she began to write.

Her thoughts were somewhere else, not even realizing that her hand, as if she were a completely separate organism, worked uninterruptedly.

When, after some time, she returned to her senses, Yao Xi’s right hand was numb and sore. Massaging her fingers and wrist, Yao Xi’s eyes focused on a piece of paper in front of her, on which many words swarmed. Some were deleted, others seemed to be underlined, as if someone wanted to put a special emphasis on them. Despite the fact that the writing seemed completely chaotic, the general meaning of the words was so stupefying that Yao Xi was speechless.

Who could write it? Yao Xi looked around the room. Did I fall asleep, and someone tossed me this piece of paper?

However, judging by the sore hand and stains of ink on the fingers, Yao Xi had the impression that she herself had written all this. Even the character of the writing was similar. Only why does she not remember anything?

With trembling breath, Yao Xi raised the page, as if it were some ancient parchment, on which an extremely important script was written. Her heart galloped in Yao Xi’s chest like a galloping wild horse as she read the next lines of text.

Every word she read stimulated dormant emotions, making her throat tighten, depriving her of oxygen. She felt as though she was about to lose consciousness, but she stubbornly could not bring herself to take her eyes off.

The words were so familiar, as if they had been torn out from the depths of her soul and engraved on this thin piece of paper. It was as if they waited for a moment to get to the surface to see the sun’s rays:

I’ve lost my wings

And I can’t fly in the air.

Even in my dreams I’m not safe.

Closed in a cage, without a soul.

I’ve lost my key

To the gates of your heart.

It disappeared somewhere, without a trace.

And I want to fly to the ends of Earth,

Driven by distant stars.

But I can’t fly in the air,

because I’ve lost my wings.

And even in my dreams I’m not safe.

A cruel illusion,

Created only for me,

Nobody can save me ‘

Cause I can’t escape my destiny.

Enveloping heart with darkness,

Soulless voices herald my end

Absorbed by my own fear,

I can not even scream.

Nobody will save me.

Destiny got me.

Because I’ve lost my wings,

You can live without me,

Because I’ve lost my wings,

I can’t even say goodbye …

To my dreams …

To my love …

My fake love …

Fake love …

Love …

Yao Xi felt as if some ghost had possess her. She did not remember the moment of writing, but she had a strange deep feeling that she did it. Every word, every line reflected exactly what she felt, though she could never put it into words. She did not think that she would be able to express so bluntly what was hidden somewhere deep.

She did not know why, but suddenly a memory occurred to Yao Xi. She went deeper into the fleeting, foggy memory, and suddenly she saw the woman’s blurred image. She sat at the piano, with the grace and elegance of a Roman goddess.

The woman brushed keys with the fingers as if they were made of fragile crystal, and the melody coming out of the instrument was delicate, like a snowflake that would melt as soon as the key was pressed a little tighter. Sounds, although extremely delicate, were loaded with ancient magic, making you can not stop listening, wanting to taste more.

Although the memories were blurred, they completely took control of the mind of Yao Xi.

The image of an unknown woman appeared in Yao Xi’s head like an element that can not be tame.

Yao Xi was only able to make a vague outline of the figure. Only fiery red hair was distinguished by the bright and foggy space, and her face was unreadable, as if someone had computerized it, blurring the view. Nevertheless, Yao Xi had an irresistible impression of intimacy and attachment, as if she had met a long-lost friend.

With every sound coming out from under these nimble fingers, Yao Xi felt somewhere in the depths of her soul vibrations, as if something wanted to break free from her breasts.

The feeling was so amazing that Yao Xi was terrified, understanding nothing.

This was the first time that Yao Xi had experienced this mysterious phenomenon, and suddenly the thought flashed through her mind that it might have something to do with her mysterious rebirth.

Yao Xi wondered if, after rebirth, she gained some secret power to look into the past? The idea seemed absurd, but she did not rule it out. Rebirth was also not a frequent phenomenon, and somehow it happened to her.

She also wondered if this could have anything to do with the fact that many things had changed in this life differently than before. Maybe because she hit her head at Ruo Yan’s birthday party, she regained some lost memory? She could not be sure. Especially since she did not remember anything that happened in her life before she went to the orphanage.

She did not go to the party in her previous life, so she did not get any injury. By the way, Yao Xi just realized that everything began to change precisely because she decided to go there. It was there she was slapped, she met Cheng Yazhe, she went to the hospital and went through another operation. Yao Xi more and more believed that it was this day that was her control point, from which she began anew.

The mere thought that she could have flashes of memories of her childhood made Yao Xi’s heart beat off the rhythm, and her excitement accelerated the flow of blood in her veins. If that was the case, then this woman could have been …

Yao Xi was even afraid to finish this thought.

If everything turned out to be true, she could finally find out who she is …
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