WTF I Am In The Marvel Universe! - Chapter 22

The story of Iron Man 2 had started but Ray didn’t care about that, he knew it would work out like the Marvel movies. Ray did not want to interfere with the Iron Man 2 plot lines. Ray only hoped that Nick Fury was not too much of bastard and would give Tony Stark his father’s legacy sooner rather than later so he could be saved.

Meanwhile Clint Barton also known as Hawkeye had just finished his ȧssignment with Shield. Clint Barton knew he was always a target of ȧssassination, whether it was remnants of Hydra, the Russian government, an angry mobster or even a foreign government. Clint was already used to disposing of the ȧssassins targeting him and then reporting it to Shield. Due to the volume of ȧssassins that Clint Barton had killed over the years, Shield had stopped caring or checking who these ȧssassins were. One of the latest ȧssassin was a mercenary by the name of Bullseye which they ȧssumed was hired by an angry drug cartel in Mexico when Clint Barton killed their leader. Bullseye to Clint Barton was probably one of the better ȧssassins he had ever met but still in the end Bullseye died with an arrow through his heart. No investigation was ever made because the Mexico cartel rescinded the kill order on Clint Barton after Bullseye died.

It had been weeks after Bullseye died but Clint Barton still could not stop the feeling that Bullseye was still alive. But that was impossible since Clint Barton himself checked to make sure the ȧssassin Bullseye was dead. Clint Barton scratched the fuzz of hair under his chin as he looked out at his apartment window in New York.

Suddenly appearing out of shadows in a black ninja outfit that covered his whole body except his eyes was a tall muscular man. Before Clint Barton even had a chance to grab his weapon, he was hit by a heavy fist. Clint Barton fell down on the floor, then he felt the strong leg of the man in black kicking him while laughing. Clint Barton thought he was going to die that day as he lost his consciousness. But the next morning came, Clint Barton woke up battered and bruised with a broken arm and a note attached to him saying, “I had fun, we should do this again. Ha. Ha. Ha.”.

Clint Barton felt a cold shiver run up his spine. He had never been this afraid before in his life, of course Clint Barton has never been on the verge of death before until today. Clint Barton wondered which psychopath he had offended before he recorded this incident with Shield.

The man in the black ninja outfit was of course Fire Eyes or he used to be known as Bullseye. He came back to take revenge on Clint Barton for killing him. Fire Eyes had never felt so good before, his body, his strength had reached superhuman levels. Even Clint Barton the master ȧssassin had fallen before him. And as he promised Ray before, he had spared Clint Barton’s life while doing considerable psychological damage to Clint Barton. Ha ! Ha ! Ha ! Fire Eyes thought to himself, he could get used to this new body and his new life inside the Hand.

(Side Story – A day in the life of a pizza delivery guy)

There were a group of pizza delivery guys in New York and they were welcoming their new hire, a young man with brown hair and green eyes by the name of Mark.

“Welcome Mark. Welcome to the Pizza Palace. We deliver to almost all of New York.”, one of the pizza delivery guys said with a friendly smile.

At the same time the announcement came over the loudspeaker asking for Mark to deliver a pizza to a penthouse in New York.

“Oh crap ! That place again, Mark you are either one of the unluckiest person alive or one of the luckiest person alive.”, another pizza delivery guy said to Mark.

“What do you mean ? Please tell me.”, Mark asked curiously.

“That place is cursed. If you are lucky, you would deliver the pizza to a beautiful young blonde haired blue eyed girl by the name of Ray. She will pay you a big tip if you keep your mouth shut. But if you call her a girl or say you love her, you will be writhing in pain. You can ask Chris over there, he said he loved her.”, an older pizza delivery guy said as he pointed to Chris.

“Ha ! Ha ! Well when she appeared to me after a shower with her wet long blonde hair and sparkling blue eyes, I just fell in love with her. I told her I loved her. And the next moment I knew, I fell to the ground in excruciating pain and lost my consciousness. When I woke up, I found the money for the pizza on me but no big tip. Next thing I know I was blacklisted from bringing pizza to that place again. I really loved that beautiful girl, I wasn’t joking.”, Chris said with a bit of sadness.

“If that is all, no worries. I know what to do.”, Mark said with a happy smile.

“Wait, if you see a muscular guy by the name of Butch taking the pizza, run for the hill. Ned one of our pizza delivery guy who is muscular and over 6 feet tall delivered a pizza there. He met Butch, I heard rumours of after being captured by Butch he became gay. Ned resigned and we have never heard from him again. However we have seen his photos in gay pride parades all over the country. Before that Ned was a totally straight man, I don’t know what Butch did to him.”, one of the older pizza delivery guy said.

“Okay, so if I see a muscular guy by the name of Butch, I should run for the hills.”, Mark said as he was prepared to leave.

“Wait, if you see someone by the name of Oswald taking the pizza, run, run as fast as you can while covering your ears.”, another of the pizza delivery guy said.

“Why ?”, Mark asked looking confused.

“Here, look at Phil, he is deaf in one ear and almost deaf in the other because he failed to get away from Oswald.”, the pizza delivery guy continued.

“Eh ! What did you say ?!”, Phil shouted out while looking around him.

Mark had a terrified look on his face as he asked, “Anything else I should know about ?”.

“Ah, yes if you deliver the pizza and see a Female by the name of Clara, never say you are delivering pizza to Ray. She will go crazy and start swinging some type of ninja sword at you and try to kill you.”, a pizza delivery guy said seriously.

“You are kidding right ?”, Mark asked seriously.

“You can ask Marcos.”, a pizza delivery guy said.

As he said that Marcos showed Mark his scars from delivering pizzas to Clara.

“Can I resign now…..”, Mark said as he gulped down his saliva.

Meanwhile in a penthouse apartment in New York, Ray and his three bodyguards were sneezing while waiting for their pizzas from Pizza Palace.