WTF I Am In The Marvel Universe! - Chapter 66

Ray just sat there in Asgard’s gardens dumbfounded by Odin and Freya’s reply. While Odin and Freya genuinely was dumbfounded by Ray’s question of where is Jane Foster, Clara was snickering all the while. Clara had to run out of Asgard’s gardens to laugh when she couldn’t hold it in.

The next day, Ray had seen that his blessings had repaired the rainbow bridge. Hence the space stone or the Tesseract was no longer needed and was kept in Odin’s treasury. When Ray was allowed to visit Odin’s treasury he could see the space stone being kept there. Ray knew that if he picked the space stone, it would be inviting calamity or basically calling out to the entity that ate Dormammu. Ray decided to ignore the space stone and look at other treasures that were less dangerous and that could benefit him.

There were two things that caught Ray’s eyes, they were the Uru metal as well as the fire of life. Ray decided to ask Odin for these two treasures which Odin easily agreed. In fact Odin told Ray to take as much Uru metal as he wants. Which surprised Ray to no end. Once everything was ready and packed to be taken back to Earth, Ray looked around to see who will accompany him back.

There in the throne room chasing after muscular Male Asgardian gods to kiss was Butch his gay bodyguard. Butch was drooling and had such a perverted look on him that it would even scare his own mother. While Thor oblivious to all this was still doing the kissing contest with Butch. Ray wondered if Thor spent too much time with Butch, would Thor turn gay ?

Running after Loki while Loki was running and screaming, “My ears ! My ears are burning !”, was Oswald. Oswald was saying, “Loki let’s talk about this. Loki…”. While Loki was still using both his hands to cover both his ears while screaming, “My ears ! My ears hurt !”, while running away from Oswald. While Oswald was chasing Loki and trying to talk to him. Ray wondered if he could leave what the Ancient One called the plague of sounds behind ? Probably not thought Ray, Odin and Freya would probably kill themselves if they spent too much time with Oswald.

Sending Ray off was Odin and Freya the two leaders of Asgard that had used car salesmen looks on their faces while giving fake smiles that would creep out a baby.

While next to Ray was creepy Clara who sniggered every time Ray asked,”Where is Jane Foster ?”, or “Do you know Jane Foster ?”, to which all the Asgardian gods said who ? And Clara would snicker every time Jane Foster’s name was mentioned. It creeped Ray out every time creepy Clara sniggered. Ray felt he missed something.

Yes, Ray thought to himself, he was bringing these three disaster bodyguards back with him. Ray said a prayer for himself and wished he could leave his three bodyguards with Odin and Freya but both of them insist that they bring them back with him. Sigh. So much for leaving the three bodyguards here.

“Do you think we should have told him ?”, Freya asked Odin.

“You know we can’t.”, Odin said as he put his arms around his wife Freya and led her away from the rainbow bridge.

Ray was back in New York, Earth.

While Ray was back, Prince TChalla the Black Panther was doing his movie promotion of the female Black Panther in drag together with his blue haired plump female intern Ms. Lisa. They also had the female director of the female Black Panther movie aptly titled She Black Panther together with them. The female director of the female Black Panther movie was a black female with purple hair by the name of Jaquan. They were all in New York to promote the movie She Black Panther.

“Ms. Jacuan, thank you for letting me work on the she Black Panther movie.”, Prince TChalla said in his drag get up.

“I am truly insulted. My name is Jaquan not Jacuan. Don’t you know an African name ! No wonder you are an inferior Male !”, Ms. Jaquan shouted at Prince TChalla.

“But, but Jaquan is not an African name. Nowhere in Africa is there such a name as Jaquan. And the name is extremely difficult to pronounce correctly.”, Prince TChalla in drag said solemnly.

“What did you say inferior Male ? Did you just insult my African heritage again !”, Ms. Jaquan shouted out.

“Yes, inferior males like you TChalla should know his place. Or do you not want to work on She Black Panther 2 the movie !”, Ms. Lisa shouted out.

“I am sorry. I do not know anything. I am not African.”, Prince TChalla in drag said sadly.

“But the movie She Black Panther has not opened yet. How do you know She Black Panther will do well in the movie theatres ?”, Prince TChalla in drag asked in confusion.

“It’s doesn’t matter if She Black Panther does well in the movie theatre or not ! We have bought plenty of movie tickets to She Black Panther to increase its box office takings. And even if She Black Panther does badly, we will do a She Black Panther 2. It’s not about a good story, it’s not about the movie She Black Panther, it’s not about truth, for us Social Justice Warriors, it’s all about the agenda. Yes, whatever furthers the agenda we will do ! Even if a movie is crap, we will make it to further the Social Justice Warriors agenda !”, Ms. Jaquan, the female director said proudly.

“Uh…..”, Prince TChalla in drag said with a sad face.

“TChalla ! Is that you ? I did not recognise you in drag !”, Ray shouted out as he approached Prince TChalla in drag.

“Ray ! Ray ! You are here. I am so glad to see you.”, Prince TChalla in drag said happily as he saw Ray or the Wizard.

“What are you doing here ?”, Ray asked in a girlish voice.

“I am here to promote the movie She Black Panther.”, Prince TChalla in drag said proudly.

“Why are you in drag ?”, Ray asked in a girlish voice.

“Uh. I have no choice. Some times men have to humiliate themselves to make money. It’s all for the money.”, Prince TChalla in drag said sadly.

“Why do you need so much money ? I thought you were working for the Avengers. Aren’t they paying you well ?”, Ray asked in a girlish voice.

“Uh. The Avengers are paying me well. But when Wakanda became a hole in the ground and all the Vibranium disappeared. The hundreds of billions of debt that was Wakanda became my debt.”, Prince TChalla in drag said sadly.

“Why don’t you declare bankruptcy ? I thought you had changed your citizenships to become an American ?”, Ray asked in a girlish voice.

“Yes I am an American. What is this bankruptcy ?”, Prince TChalla asked in confusion.

“You don’t know what bankruptcy is ? Bankruptcy is a legal process through which people or other entities who cannot repay debts to creditors may seek relief from all of their debts.”, Ray said in a girlish voice.

“What ? You don’t have to pay back any of your debt if you declare bankruptcy !”, Prince TChalla in drag shouted in happiness.

“Don’t tell me you don’t know that.”, Ray said in a girlish voice.

Suddenly, Ms. Lisa buŧŧed in and said, “TChalla who is that beautiful young girl you are talking to ? Introduce her to me, you inferior Male !”.

“Fuck you ! And your bitchy Black Femi Nazi Director !”, Prince TChalla in drag shouted out as he put both his middle fingers out to Ms. Lisa and Ms. Jaquan.

Ray just looked at Ms. Lisa and Ms. Jaquan and whispered, “Pain….”.

“Thank you Ray. Thank you for everything. I will get everything ready then I will declare bankruptcy. You have given me my life back Ray. I owe you one and on my honour I will repay you back.”, Prince TChalla in drag said proudly.

“You are welcome.”, Ray said in a girlish voice as he smiled sweetly.