You Have Everything I Dislike - Chapter 10

I’m not sure when it exactly started, but Third Master suddenly became very choking in speech. It was as if his rebellious teenage phase had arrived late. All of his tenderness toward me had been thrown into the sea to feed the fish, leaving me with only the stubbornness of a cheap-mouthed young man.

The most frequently mentioned topic was the matter of dinner.

Me: “Dear, what are we going to eat at night?”

Third Master looked like a good man. “Whatever. I don’t really care. We’ll eat whatever you want.”

I scanned the multitude of stores on the street and pointed a finger. “Let’s go eat pig’s feet at West Street, okay? It sounds good, and I’ve always wanted to try it.”

The third master let out an audible “oh” before frowning at me. “But I don’t like eating pig’s feet.”

I continued to look around. “Then… let’s go to Yoshino’s1T/N: a Japanese fast-food chain instead. Don’t you like the double platter there?”

The third master shook his head. “I don’t really want to eat rice right now.”

At this point, I was already getting a little upset. “Why don’t we go to McDonald’s…?”

Third Master replied, without even blinking his eyes, “I hate fast food, and I don’t want to eat hamburgers.”

I was speechless. “…Then tell me, what should we eat?”

Even so, the third master began to put on his spoiled boyfriend face. “Whatever. I’ll listen to you.”

I was so angry that a table was flipped over in minutes. Glaring at him, I responded, “Eat your fart!”

Third Master looked frightened. “Honey, is that really what you want to eat?”

Then, he put his hand on his butt shyly, clenched a fist on it, and placed said fist in front of my face. “Are you ready?!”

Me: “…”

The third master spent the whole day talking about how he liked my plumpness the most.

He even said that the reason he did not dare to pursue me in high school was that I was “as thin as a monkey back then and not as good-looking as I am now” and that if I had gained ten pounds, he would have probably made a move “a long time ago.”

On one hand, I had been able to convince myself that all men were liars and we should just not believe them, and that I could never get fat. On the other hand, I could not stop myself from wagging my tail whenever it came to accepting the third master’s food…

It’s just that the third master could not, at all, keep his heart and mouth in sync. If I did not pay attention, he would often say something hurtful in return (usually, if he ended up hurting my self-esteem, I would retaliate by hurting his health!).

It was a cold and windy day. I watched the little girls on the street shivering from the cold.

I turned to him and proudly said, “Although I gained weight, my ability to keep the cold out has obviously improved. Others wear more clothes and look bloated, but I can wear very little and still look good!”

The third master sneered, “Don’t lie to yourself. They don’t look at how much or how little you wear – they only look at your face.”

I’m seriously gonna roundhouse kick him.

When I weighed myself, I looked at the number on the LCD screen and was immediately depressed. The third master passed by and took a look, patting me on the shoulder. “Very round – I like it.”

I tilted my head and asked, “What if I lose weight and become thin in the future? You won’t like me anymore?”

The third master replied seriously, “Don’t talk nonsense.”

Before I had time to be moved, he added, “Is it even possible for you to be thin?”

I jumped up, performing a roundhouse kick.

One night the two of us were discussing what we ate for lunch when he said, “I spent a total of $14 on lunch.”

Proudly, I said, “I only spent 7.”

The corners of the third master’s mouth dropped. “This is bad. I actually spent twice as much as you.”

“Don’t be sad.” I consoled him with a smirk. “You’re twice my weight anyway, so it costs about the same per meat.”

After a few seconds of silence, the third master said with a serious face, “Stop deceiving yourself.”

I walked over, jumped up, and gave him a beautiful roundhouse kick.

Because I registered on Taobao with my mobile number, I received a message saying that the number was requisitioned. So, I had to change to the third master’s number to register it.

Later, for convenience’s sake, I basically used Third Master’s account for online shopping. Additionally, the two of us shared our accounts with each other.

The great advantage was that whenever I had no money to pay for stuff, I would directly use his for quick payment. The only drawback was – there was no way you could hide these secret transactions from one another.

One day, the third master called me and said that there was new shipping information, so he clicked it to take a look.

I said, “Oh, I bought a new skirt.”

He sneered, “I saw your conversation with the Taobao boss. ‘Height – confidential. Weight – confidential,’ huh?”

I did not respond. “Yeah.”

The Third Master laughed scornfully. “You’ve been lying to me about losing ten pounds of weight using ‘real’ data. You’re truly a woman of great heart.”

The villain in my head jumped up and did a roundhouse kick…

I got up at noon one day, and within a few minutes, I received a call from the third master.

The third master asked, “What are you doing right now?”

As I had not fully woken up yet, my voice was a little soft. “I just got up. I’m going to the library in a bit.”

Third Master: “Oh, I was about to get some sleep.”

Me: “Set your alarm clock, in case I forget to call you. You still have things to do in the afternoon, right?”

Third Master: “Yeah, okay. But why is your tone so gentle? It’s giving me goosebumps…”

Being praised for being gentle, I asked dumbly, ” Is it? Maybe because I just woke up, my mind’s still a bit foggy.”

The third master’s voice was suspiciously coquettish. “Oh, I know~ You don’t have to get up~”

I activated my anti-cute skills. “That’s right~ You’re the only one who’s getting up~ Don’t you like it when I’m being so gentle?”

The third master was silent for a while. “You’re not getting up, but your feet’s so stinky!”

All my skills froze up, and I opened my mouth. The voice I let out frightened the dog downstairs. “You big man! Get lost!”

The third master cheerfully sang, “Ah, this feels much better.”

I once went to IKEA with the third master’s family.

After walking around all morning, it was finally time to leave. His parents went to the restroom. We were waiting for them at the door with a bunch of our things.

As I was standing there, bored out of my mind, the third master suddenly turned his head to the left and right before looking at me with a sad expression. “There are a lot of people here.”

I did not know what he was up to. Before I could ask, he looked at the direction of the restroom and said in a firm tone, “Nevermind, it’s too late now. They’re coming out soon.”

I suddenly realized that he must have wanted to kiss me. After hesitating for a second or two, I closed my eyes.

The result was that after waiting for a long time with closed eyes, I did not see any other movements from the third master. Only when I opened my eyes did I realize that he actually said, “No! Wait a minute, see!”

Holding the huge vase in my arms, I craned my neck to look for him. Finally, I saw him queued up behind a long line in the food section.

While licking his ice cream cone, he walked toward me with another cone in his hand, asking for credit.

I thought silently to myself, “If it were in a serious romance novel, Third Master! You won’t survive three episodes, you know that?

The author has something to say: Why did the third master make it all the way to the tenth chapter? Of course, it’s because I love the third master so much…