You Make Me..crazy - Chapter 12

 

12. To Love Someone is the Same as To Protect Them

 

“We have tour dates without venues,” Harry said, holding out the list of venues they had planned to use for Rebellion’s national tour. “Most of them venues have canceled our reservation. I’m starting to think someone is interfering.”

Dan took the list with a sigh. Someone was interfering.

“We’re left with five venues, most of them are school gymnasiums, fields and halls.”

“What do you want to do? That’s a very small tour compared to the twenty stops we had planned.” Harry sank into the silver couch by the windows in Dan’s office. “I want to scream at these faceless people for doing this. We’re paying for space.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Dan said, with a shake of his head. “The venues you chose have scheduled shows with mainstream artists. Don’t push. Work with the venues you have, and increase the number of shows. If it was two days, make them three day shows until they’re twenty.”

Harry ran fingers through his graying hair and sighed.

“Was it like this out there?”

“No.” Dan shook his head. “But then, no one cared who Rebellion was out there. Here, they want to prove Rebellion doesn’t have a following.”

“Well, then we just have to prove them wrong,” Harry said. “The album’s pre-order sales are through the roof. We might have to increase the amount of physical albums.”

Dan calculated the costs in his head and decided it was better to work with their current projected sales.

“First, let’s work with the number we’ve planned. We’ll add as we go.”

“Alright,” Harry said standing up. “Want to come upstairs?”

“What’s upstairs?”

Harry grinned.

“They found a drummer. Jae insisted they get started on rehearsals, so they’re in the practice hall on the sixth floor. The hairs on the back of my neck rise with excitement every time I listen to them.”

Dan smiled and glanced at the time. It was already six in the evening, he had a mountain of paperwork to get through, but it could keep. He missed seeing Jae. They hadn’t had enough time alone these past three weeks since Rebellion started preparing for their album’s release. The band kept odd hours working with Jade Entertainment’s marketing and PR teams, diligently creating Rebellion’s promotional material.

He spent his days navigating the bureaucracies, juggling expenses, and haggling with skittish distribution executives. Rebellion’s new album was a tough sell because Rebellion’s promotion avenues currently included magazines and newspapers, no radio or television time. They were lucky that there was an online culture.

Dan pushed his chair back and stretched his arms above his head. Tagging off his tie, he walked around his desk following Harry to the door.

“How’s Jae doing?” he asked, as they walked to the elevators.

“He’s hard to read,” Harry said, when they were inside the elevator heading to the sixth floor. “He works without complaint, very focused on the task at hand. He listens to suggestion, takes it if it suits the group. Work wise, we’re very in tune, but he won’t trust me with his personal life.”

Dan frowned.

“Why do you say that?”

“As you know, Jaesun is dropping an album two days before Rebellion, so the press is having a field day. For the first time in years, both sides have albums on the market. We might not acknowledge the competition, but you know it’s real. As a result, Jaesun keeps mentioning the members of Rebellion in his interviews. The latest one was hearsay, something about Jae assaulting Jaesun. Jae shrugged it off as rumors when I asked him. Since they haven’t met-”

“Did you say assault?” Dan asked with a frown, alarms went off in his head. “Is there an official claim?”

“No. Jaesun hasn’t made a statement but the press is pushing.”

The elevator doors opened and they almost ran into Len.

Harry steadied the younger man with a frown.

“What’s going on, Len? Why are you on this floor, and not at your studio?”

Len smiled.

“Hello, Mr. Suk.” When Dan nodded in response, Len turned to Harry. “Hyung-nim, why didn’t you tell me Rebellion was rehearsing? My manager just told me.”

Len followed them as they continued to the double doors that opened into the large practicing room Dan set aside for Rebellion.

His gaze immediately searched and found Jae.

His boyfriend was hooking up an electric guitar to an amp. When Jae finished, he tuned the guitar and played a few notes. Junghee was arguing about timing with their new drummer, a woman in her early thirties. Andre sat on the floor watching Jae.

“Are you sure about finishing the last set with Stronger?” Andre asked. “I mean Critical Mass has more power. The heavy riffs, merciless drums, it would make a grand finale. We want to leave the stage shaking.”

“Stronger packs a powerful punch,” Jae said, holding out the guitar to Andre.

“Yeah, I know you’re biased toward Stronger, but Critical Mass makes a better grand finale,” Andre insisted as he got to his feet.

Andre struck a few teasing chords as Junghee finished with the drummer.

Harry moved to announce their presence, but Dan stopped him and pressed a finger to his mouth. Len folded his arms against his chest, vibrating with anticipation.

“Junghee, settle this,” Jae said, pushing the long sleeves of his white cotton t-shirt to his elbows.

He bent to move the guitar chords so that he wouldn’t trip and Dan bit back an appreciative moan. Jae’s black jeans hugged his tight butt to perfection, he looked so sexy and intimate thanks to his bare feet.

The new Rebellion stylist had cut Jae’s hair. She had cut it short on the sides and the back. Leaving the top long, and dyed a rich brown that brought out Jae’s honeyed eyes. He smiled when Jae caught up the soft long strands and tied them in a top knot with a rubber band.

“Come on, Junghee,” Jae insisted, when Junghee picked up his own guitar. “Don’t you think Stronger should finish the last set?”

“Andre is right,” Junghee said, “but let’s play Critical Mass. You can decide when you hear it.”

Jae nodded and turned to the microphone stand. The drummer rapped her sticks, starting the beat. Junghee and Andre played the intro, joined by the drummer soon after.

Jae closed his eyes and his voice filled the room, a smoky baritone that reminded Dan of nights spent between black silk sheets and burning kisses. The feel of Jae’s heated skin rubbing against his, slender fingers digging into his back, legs locked around his hips, Jae’s passionate moans, head arched back in the throes of passion. His cock buried deep, heat searing through his brain, as they drove each other into mindless ecstasy.

Dan shifted where he stood when Jae grabbed a third guitar and joined Andre and Junghee. Their music was intense, driving, and moody; it had Len banging his head as he stood beside Harry, the trio of guitars driving the song into an intense climax when Jae’s voice joined in again. Dan could see Andre’s reasoning for wanting to make this song the finale. It would have their fans on their feet jumping and wanting more.

“Critical Mass is the last song,” Junghee said when they finished.

Jae laughed.

“I agree, that just means Stronger comes in second last.”

“That was incredible,” Len rushed forward, “insanely awesome, I have to come to your concert.”

Jae grinned when he saw Len.

“Of course you have to come.”

“When is your first performance?” Len asked, moving to stand next to Junghee who was tuning his guitar.

“In a few days,” Andre said.

Dan smiled when Jae met his gaze. He watched Jae jump over a bunch of cables running toward them.

“Hey,” Jae said coming to stand in front of Dan.

“Good practice?” Harry asked.

“Yeah,” Jae said, although he didn’t look at Harry. “We’re ready for the tour.”

“Great, get some rest. Tomorrow the band has back-to-back appointments with journalists and an official album release interview.”

Jae nodded without comment and Harry went to talk to Junghee and Andre.

“Miss me?” Dan asked Jae.

Jae nodded.

He lowered his gaze to Jae’s lips. Taking Jae’s right hand, Dan dragged him out of the rehearsal room. He led the way down the hall to a small room used as a temporary office. Locking the door, Dan pulled Jae into his arms, crushed his mouth to Jae’s in a feverish, greedy kiss. He dragged Jae’s shirt off as a strangled moan escaped Jae’s lips. He captured them in another delicious kiss, his tongue exploring Jae’s mouth, savoring his taste. He cupped Jae’s ass, tugging him closer, but it wasn’t enough, it was never enough.

Jae’s fingers worked on his shirt, opening the buttons, and he moaned when Jae ran fingers over his chest. Heat followed Jae’s caresses, his fingers tightened on Jae’s ass when Jae tugged his nipples.

Dan unfastened Jae’s pants, then shoved them and Jae’s underwear down together, freeing Jae’s cock. It was hard, and sprang up against Jae’s stomach. He rubbed his thumb over the slit, spreading pre-cum over the sensitive head, making Jae moan.

They stumbled to a table set against the wall, kissing hungrily. Jae kicked off his trousers and Dan helped him up on to the table. He stroked Jae’s cock, taking Jae’s moans into his mouth in deep kisses that had Jae clinging to his open shirt. He kept stroking Jae’s cock until he came in passionate moans inside his mouth.

****

Jae closed his eyes, his body tingling, sharp little jabs of ecstasy running through him. The pad of Dan’s thumb swept over the tip of his cock and he moaned, wanting more. Dan broke their kiss, his hot lips trailing along Jae’s naked shoulder to his chest. Jae’s fingers sunk into Dan’s hair.

“More,” he begged, needing to feel Dan inside him. “Please.”

“I don’t have protection,” Dan said, kissing him hungrily. “We’ll just have to-”

“I trust you.” Jae dropped his hands to Dan’s trousers. “Please, Dan, don’t make me beg again.”

“Are you sure?” Dan asked, lifting his head to meet Jae’s gaze.

“I’m sure,” Jae said, kissing him.

Dan dropped his trousers, revealing his heavy swollen cock. Dan cupped his hips and pulled him to the edge of the table, Jae braced his feet on the table, keeping his legs open. He held Dan’s gaze as Dan coated his cock with Jae’s release. He watched Dan slip a finger into him, biting his lip with a soft moan at the feel of Dan inside him. When Dan slipped another finger in, his eyes slid closed.

“Don’t tease me,” Jae begged, when Dan withdrew his fingers.

Dan grinned and moved closer, pressing the tip of his cock into Jae.

He trembled on the fine edge between pleasure and pain when Dan fully entered him. The feel of Dan’s cock inside him, hot naked skin against his, dragging through his tight hole was exquisite. Jae reached for Dan’s shoulders holding him close, his legs wrapping around Dan’s waist. Dan thrust into him, slow, deep thrusts, so deep. A needy moan escaped him, his brow coated with sweat, his fingers dug into Dan’s shoulders as pleasure tipped the scale. Delightful, electric thrills burst inside him when Dan increased his pace. Their lips met in a wanton kiss, their passion raw, wild, and desperate. He forgot where they were, losing himself in the raging passion Dan ignited inside him.

He cried out when Dan came inside him, the feel of Dan’s hot cum coating his walls sent him over the edge. Dan held himself inside him as they kissed, lying back on the table. Jae sighed when Dan held him close.

“I’m crazy for you,” Jae whispered into Dan’s shoulder when they’d both caught their breath and Dan slipped out of him.

Dan shivered when Jae licked a bead of sweat from his neck.

“I don’t want to move,” Dan said, his hands sliding over Jae’s naked hips as he straightened up, bringing Jae to sit up with him. “I wish we could stay right here.”

“That’s kinky but I think I’ll get splinters on my ass,” Jae teased with a laugh. He leaned back to look into Dan’s eyes.

“You’re not smiling. What’s wrong?” Jae asked.

“You’re leaving on tour next week. It won’t be so easy for me to see you.”

“You can always meet us, it’s not like we’re leaving the country,” Jae soothed.

“I know,” Dan said. He rubbed a finger over Jae’s smooth jaw, and shrugged. “Still, I prefer it when you’re close to me.”

Jae grinned.

“You’ll finally have time to yourself. Do you know we haven’t had time apart in four years?”

“You ignored me for most of those years,” Dan pointed out. “It’s amazing that we’ve known each other four years and only dated for four months. I’m not ready to have you so far away just yet.”

Jae brushed fingers through Dan’s hair.

“I’m just glad you were there with me through that mess abroad,” Jae said quietly.

“Glad you noticed,” Dan said, playfully biting the soft skin on Jae’s bare shoulder. He chuckled when Jae’s stomach rumbled. “And now, I have to feed you.”

Jae laughed.

Dan smiled, loving the sound of Jae’s laugh. He kissed Jae once more before he moved away. Grabbing Jae’s t-shirt from the floor, he held it out to him.

“I’ll take you out,” he said, when Jae took the t-shirt.

“I’m craving noodles,” Jae said, jumping off the table. He picked up his jeans and pulled them on. “Think we can go to a store around here and get some?”

“Do you want to torture your bodyguard?”

“Bodyguard?” Jae asked with a frown as he buttoned his jeans. “When did I get one of those?”

“Today,” Dan said, tucking in his shirt, before he zipped up and buttoned his slacks. He ran fingers through his hair, hoping to make it neat.

“Come on, Dan,” Jae started to complain.

“You don’t get a say in the matter,” Dan said, giving up on his hair. “Besides, he’ll police you for me. You’re keeping things from me, Jae.”

Jae chuckled.

“How could I when we practically live in the same house?”

Dan studied him for a moment.

“When did you meet Jaesun?”

“What?”

“What?” Dan mimicked. “Don’t play that game with me. The alleged assault on Jaesun the press is peddling, when did it happen?”

Jae sighed and looked away.

“It’s alleged.”

“I know you better than that, Jae.” Dan moved closer to study him. “Tell me the truth.”

“The truth,” Jae scoffed.

“Yes, Jae, the truth,” Dan said.

Jae rubbed his eyes.

“Fine, I might have tapped him softly with my fist that first week when we got back to Seoul.”

“Tapped him softly,” Dan said, then bit back a laugh. “What is that code for? Did you punch him?”

Jae shrugged.

“Why?” Dan asked at a loss. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because,” Jae looked away running fingers through his hair. “He pissed me off.”

“What does that mean? You don’t punch everyone who pisses you off,” Dan said in irritation. “Was he alone? Who else was there, Jae?”

“I don’t know, my mother? I was at home and he was intruding. He can’t claim assault, Dan.”

“I don’t care what Jaesun can claim,” Dan said. “I care about you, and your family. Jaesun might not make an assault charge stick but he can cause trouble for you and Rebellion. I need to know the whole story.”

Jae wiped a hand down his face. “I don’t want to spoil a good day talking about that guy. I really don’t.”

“Harry is fielding requests for a statement. Jaesun’s side hasn’t made one yet, but you know what happens if they do. He must have told someone about this. We need to take steps to protect you.”

“Don’t you get tired of always trying to save me?” Jae demanded. “Sorting out my problems and figuring out how to deflect bad press. Aren’t you tired of it yet?”

“Yes,” Dan said, making Jae look up in surprise. “Are you shocked?”

Jae blinked and turned away from him.

“No. It was bound to happen.”

Dan watched him head to the door.

“Jae-”

“We should go now,” Jae said as he pulled the door open. “I’m hungry and tired, tomorrow is a busy day. Why don’t we talk about this some other time?”

Dan watched him leave with a sigh.

*****

Jae walked back to the rehearsal room. He was disappointed when he found that Junghee and Andre had left. Getting his phone from a table laden with tools and guitar strings, he checked the messages. He sighed when he found one from Junghee. They’d decided to go watch a soccer game at Andre’s house.

“Let’s go get you food,” Dan said from the door.

Jae slid his phone into his pocket and found his sandals. Grabbing a leather jacket he’d left on the floor, he pulled it on and followed Dan out of the rehearsal room.

“You really won’t talk to me?” Dan asked, when they took the elevator in silence. The doors opened in the basement and Jae got out without talking. “Jae, come on.”

A tall burly man joined them and Jae slowed down staring at him with suspicion.

“This is Ken,” Dan said, touching Jae’s shoulder to reassure him. “He’ll watch out for you. Ken, this is Kim Jaehan. Please look after him.”

Ken nodded to Jae.

“Where are we headed, Mr. Kim?”

“To get noodles,” Jae answered with a small grin. “Do you know a good place?”

Ten minutes later, they sat in a crowded roadside tent, turned into a makeshift restaurant, bottles of Soju on the table along with hot bowls of food. Jae picked up his bowl, finishing the last of his soup. The food was very good; his new bodyguard had good taste. Putting the empty bowl on the table, he let out a satisfied sigh and burped. It reminded him of his days struggling to make ends meet. They seemed a lifetime away, but this tent, he’d had many dinners in places like this. Jae scowled when Dan pulled his cap lower over his face.

“Stop that,” he said and tossed back his glass of Soju with a harsh sigh. “Mmm.this isn’t as good as that day in your apartment. Should I drink more?”

“No.” Dan took the Soju bottle and handed it to the woman serving them.

“Mr. Ken,” Jae said turning to his new bodyguard. “This guy doesn’t like it when I drink. Are you going to stop me when we’re on the road?”

“I’ll make sure you’re safe, sir,” Ken said politely.

Jae chuckled. “No one calls me sir.”

“They should, sir,” Ken said.

Jae studied the stoic man seated beside him and sighed.

“I can see you’re going to follow all of Dan’s instructions. Did Dan tell you to watch me like a hawk, maybe guard whom I talk to, and everything I do? Now that he’s tired of doing that job-”

“Ken,” Dan interrupted him. “Would you give us a moment alone?”

Ken got up and moved away.

“Stop ordering my bodyguard,” Jae said, leaning his elbows on the table.

Dan studied him. “Tell me what happened with Jaesun.”

Jae shrugged.

“I already told you. He pissed me off.”

“I need more than that, Jae.”

Jae grumbled looking to the busy street a few feet away.

“He found my mum and me making kimchi at home and he wanted to join us. I couldn’t handle it, so I walked off. He followed me, said stuff about my mum I didn’t like, so I punched him.”

“That’s why you came back so early,” Dan said with a frown. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“What is there to say? My mother thinks I should forgive Jaesun. She thinks I’m going to die full of regret if I don’t.” Jae wiped a hand down his face. “It scares me when she says things like that. She knows me too well.”

Dan sat back in his seat. “She scares you because she’s right.”

Jae avoided meeting Dan’s gaze. “I’m never going to forgive him, Dan. I can’t do it.”

“Excuse me,” a hesitant female voice interrupted and Jae looked up to find two high school students standing a few feet away. He sighed when they squealed, and then whipped out their phones and he groaned.

“Jaehan-oppa,” they both said excitedly. “It’s you! Please, can we get an autograph?”

Dan stood just as they shoved notebooks under Jae’s nose. Jae took one of the pens they held out and quickly scribbled his name. Ken had his hand on his left arm, and they got curious glances from the other customers.

Jae pressed a finger to his lips urging the girls to hold their excitement. They smiled wide, snapped more photos of him before Ken dragged him out of the tent. They walked briskly for the next two blocks. Jae loved the evening air.

“We should get you home,” Ken suggested.

“No.” Jae shook his head unwilling to give up the night. He turned to Dan and smiled. “Please Dan, after tomorrow there won’t be time for this. Can we just walk?”

“Are you sure?” Dan asked worried.

“We have Ken,” Jae cajoled. “Please Dan?”

***

Dan agreed because he couldn’t say no to Jae when those brown eyes begged him. Besides, it was fun exploring the streets with Jae.

“Look, fish sticks,” Jae said pointing to a vendor across the street. “Let’s go.”

“You’ve already eaten noodles, dumplings, and fried chicken.” Dan frowned. “Now fish sticks?”

“I used to eat them for dinner when I was training.” Jae took his hand and dragged him across the busy street. Jae reached into his pocket and pulled out money for the vendor. “It’s been so long! Ken, you want some?”

“I’m fine, sir.”

Jae held out a stick to Dan. “You know you want to.”

“I’m concerned for that pit you call a stomach.” Dan took the fish stick as they continued down the street. “Happy?”

Jae grinned.

“Better than most,” he answered.

“Looking forward to your tour?”

Jae swallowed the food in his mouth hard. “I’m excited but sad that you won’t be there.”

“Same here,” Dan said quietly. He threw the stick in the trash and turned to Jae. “Don’t give Harry a hard time. Concentrate on the music, and not the news, I’ll handle it all.”

“Even though you’re tired of fixing things for me,” Jae asked quietly.

“I won’t stop.”

Jae threw his empty sticks into the trashcan too, “Promise?”

“I promise,” Dan said truthfully.

Jae nodded and held out his hand. “Want to get ice cream?”

Dan laughed. “You’re an endless pit.”

****

Thursday afternoon Dan watched with trepidation as Jae, Junghee, and Andre bowed before a crowd of reporters and straightened up with slight smiles as cameras flashed wildly. Harry stood at a podium off to the side. Harry waited for the guys to sit on the chairs set out beside Dan, microphones arranged on the table for them.

“Thank you for coming to our press conference this afternoon,” Harry said. “We’re going to start with an official statement from Jade Entertainment’s C.E.O. And then the members of Rebellion will answer any questions you might have afterward. Please welcome C.E.O. Suk Dan.”

Dan, who sat beside Junghee, moved the microphone stand on the table closer and greeted the room.

“We’ve called you here this afternoon to announce the release of Rebellion’s second album, which will be on the fifth of August. That is next Monday. The album title is Breaking Free, released under the JE Record Label. Our company, acting as a managerial agency, will handle Rebellion’s following national tour. The ticketing information and tour dates are available on our website as well as the Rebellion website. Please look forward to their new album and thank you for your continued support.”

“Mr. Suk, has Rebellion signed an exclusive contract with Jade Entertainment? If that’s so, why did they leave N-sang Entertainment and the Rand Agency if they were going to turn around and sign another exclusive contract?”

Dan held his cool.

“Rebellion has not signed any exclusive contract with Jade Entertainment. Jade Entertainment is acting as the band’s record label and managing their promotional activities as needed. We are simply promoting their album and helping them to plan their tour in the coming months.”

Harry stopped the next volley of questions by interrupting the reporters.

“And now, Rebellion will read a short statement,” Harry said.

Dan clenched his hands under the table to fight off his nerves. He was more nervous than Jae looked. It was hard to keep his gaze away from Jae as he shifted his chair closer to the table.

“I’m Rebellion’s Kim Jaehan,” Jae started in a cool tone. “I’d like to take this opportunity to thank Mr. Suk for his belief in our band and his continuous dedication to get us where we are today. Without him, we wouldn’t be here.”

Dan swallowed hard as the three young men who’d become his family turned to him and bowed in respect. He smiled wide and gave Jae a small nod.

“Today,” Jae continued. “We sit here both excited and nervous to announce the release of a second album named Breaking Free. This album is a labor of love for our fans. They have stood beside us through thick and thin. Without them, we’d not be here. To show how thankful we are for your support, we’ve worked day and night to release this album.”

“Who composed the music?”

Jae turned to Junghee who answered, “We all composed the music but the lyrics were written by Jaehan-hyung.”

“Rebellion has chosen to pursue the rock genre. Does this have something to do with JP’s popularity on the pop charts?”

“The decision to record rock music was a professional decision,” Andre answered quietly. “Rock music best displays our strengths as artists, and we’re happy doing the best we can on stage for our fans.”

“Since the dispute between Rebellion and the Rand Agency is not over, are you going to release your album in Japan?”

“We have many obstacles ahead and we hope to face them with all the strength we can muster,” Jae answered with confidence. “For now, we’re going to do the best we can for our fans.”

“Your first album, Rough Terrain had a successful run worldwide, but did poorly in the local market. Rough Terrain did not make it on any music chart within the country. Are you prepared in case you have the same poor reception with your new album?”

Dan clenched his jaw in anger. That question was unwarranted, clearly meant to unsettle the band members. Everyone in the room was well aware of the reasons why Rough Terrain had not shown up on local music charts. Jae answered the question with a disarming smile.

“Rough Terrain was a success in all the ways that count. We had the privilege of standing before thousands of fans who sang with us as we played those songs. That in itself was an achievement and we’re grateful for it. Thanks go out to our fans. They supported us when we were in a different country and in a tough situation. As we drop this second album, I look forward to getting on stage, and listening to our fans singing with us once again.”

Dan fought the urge to clap with pride. Meeting Harry’s gaze, he nodded urging Harry to end the press conference.

“Rebellion will have a showcase at Su-Am Center on Friday night. The tickets are available through Rebellion’s official website, and at the Jade Entertainment online store. Thank you to the members of the press for coming to this short conference, until next time.”

The room exploded with questions as the band stood to leave the conference room. Jae, Junghee, and Andre bowed and turned to the exit.

“Is it true that Park Jaesun visits your family, Kim Jaehan?” someone shouted. “Have you warned him to leave your parents alone?”

“Did you two have a close relationship? Are you hiding it now?”

“Do your parents treat Park Jaesun as one of their children?”

“Is it true that Kim Jaehan assaulted Park Jaesun for interfering with his family?”

Jae froze turning to the reporters. Junghee and Dan both grabbed his arms and led him out of the conference room as reporters followed behind them.

“It has been reported that Park Jaesun has tried to reconcile with you, are you stopping the rest of Rebellion’s members from talking to him?”

“Don’t react,” Dan said to Jae as they reached the exit. “Keep your cool, we’re almost there.”

“Why have you refused to release a statement regarding the assault on Park Jaesun?”

Dan was glad when security managed to push the reporters back and they could escape to his office.

Junghee and Andre both sighed in relief, but Jae went straight for the silver couch and dropped face down on it.

“That last part was brutal,” Junghee said with a sigh. “Shouldn’t we make a statement and refute this?”

“We can’t,” Dan said with a sigh. “The allegations are true; Jae punched Jaesun that first week after we arrived back in Seoul.”

“What?” Junghee turned to look at Jae. “You’re kidding me.”

“Nope,” Jae said his voice muffled into the couch cushions. “If I deny the accusation, Jaesun’s people will spin this into a circus.”

Junghee turned to Dan in question. “What do we do? Our tour starts next week. I know negative press is good too, but not right now, Dan. We need very positive press. Positive-”

“Stop panicking,” Andre touched Junghee’s shoulder. “I think Dan already has a solution. Don’t you?”

Dan sat behind his desk, his gaze on Jae. “You have to meet him, Jae.”

“What?” the three of them asked at the same time.

“Meet Jaesun and convince him not to pursue this, Jae,” Dan said.

Jae lifted his head to meet his gaze and Dan sighed when he read worry in his brown eyes.

***

This wasn’t how he’d wanted to visit his parents. Jae sat in the passenger seat in his black Jeep staring at his parents’ house. He’d missed seeing his family, and those days he’d spent here before Junghee found him.

That simple life with no worries, he thought.

“Ready?” Dan asked turning off the engine. “Your mum is going to be happy to see you.”

Jae dropped his gaze to his lap. “Too bad I’m not eager to see her guest.”

Dan dropped a hand on his knee. “This is the right thing to do.”

“There’s nothing right about this. I’m only doing this for Rebellion,” Jae said quietly.

“I know,” Dan said.

Gae In suddenly appeared at Dan’s open window. “What do you know, Manager Suk?”

Dan smiled. “Mrs. Kim.”

She smiled and looked at Jae, “if it isn’t my handsome son, Jae.”

Jae got out of the car and hurried around to Dan’s side to hug her. He lifted her and twirled her around.

“Our Jae,” Gae In said happily, when he put her down and she kissed his cheek. “Oh my, look how slender you are, you’re losing weight.”

Dan got out of the car. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Kim. I’ll take better care of him.”

Gae In let go of Jae and turned to Dan. “It’s good to see you too, Manager Suk. You look tired and hungry, come inside.”

Dan nodded and opened the back passenger door to get the shopping they’d done earlier for Gae In.

“Jae,” Gae In said as they walked toward the front door. “You’ve stayed away so long. Your sister told me how hard you worked in the studio. I wish you’d visit me more.”

Jae squeezed her fingers affectionately. “I’m sorry, mum. I’ll double my calls from now on.”

“What about visiting?” she asked.

Jae winced. “Next week I’ll be on tour.”

“Will it be within the country?” Gae In asked with a frown.

Jae glanced at Dan before he answered. “For the most part, we’ll see how it goes.”

Gae In kissed his knuckles. “Don’t overwork yourself, Jae. Your father and I are proud of you. I can always visit you.”

Gae In led them to the kitchen. “Your father went on a business trip with his colleagues. Your sisters visit tomorrow with their families. Are you staying?”

Jae watched Dan place the shopping bags he carried on the kitchen table. “I’m sorry; we have to get back to the city tonight.”

“Well,” Gae In said with a slight frown that showed her disappointment. “Alright, I’m happy you came today. I get you to myself then.”

Jae hugged her and pressed a kiss on her smooth cheek. “I miss your gimchi. Are you still growing cabbage?”

“Of course,” Gae In said with a smile. “They’re almost finished though. We won’t get another harvest until late October. Manager Suk, will you help me with the groceries?”

Jae slid onto a stool watching Gae In and Dan put away the shopping. His mother regaled them with stories of the neighbors for the next hour. She fed them mixed rice and fresh fruits urging them to eat until they couldn’t anymore.

“Manager Suk-,” Gae In said as she poured tea for Dan.

“Please, call me Dan,” Dan said with a small smile.

“Can I?” Gae In said returning his smile. “I should since I can see you and my son are very close. You have to call me Mum.”

Dan nodded and accepted her tea. “Thank you, Mum.”

Gae In settled in her seat. “I want to thank you, Dan. I’m sure our Jae causes you a lot of trouble.”

Jae scowled. “No I don’t.”

“Just by that, I’m sure there is trouble,” Gae In said with a laugh turning to Dan.

Dan sipped his tea meeting Jae’s gaze. “I can handle his kind of trouble, although sometimes he worries me when he hides the truth from me.”

Jae made a face at him and turned to find his mother studying him. Her gaze narrowed and he feared she saw more than he dared say. Picking up his tea, he took a healthy sip and avoided Dan’s gaze.

“Why did you ask me to call Jaesun?” Gae In asked then.

Jae shrugged. “You wanted me to forgive him.”

“But why meet here?” Gae In asked. “You’re both in the city. Why not meet at your house or his?”

“That’s my fault,” Dan said. “This is best for the band and Jae.”

Jae stood then. “I’ll go check on the cabbage patch.”

Taking his cup to the sink, Jae escaped through the kitchen door and into the backyard. He was glad to see nothing much had changed. The platform under the tree beckoned and he went to it, dropping onto it with the ease of greeting a long lost friend. Removing his shoes and socks, he folded up the legs of his jeans and lay back on the platform to enjoy the sun.

***

Jaesun stood over Jae’s dozing figure and a pang of jealousy swept through him. Jae looked relaxed, healthy, and carefree. He’d never admit it but he envied Jae. His handsome, almost beautiful face and that perfect presence that demanded attention no matter what Jae did. Music, photo spreads, interviews, Jae’s ratings remained higher than his. A fact that had his management team at N-sang caught in a frenzy of competition.

He settled on the platform and took in Jae. He’d missed sex with Jae. They’d always been best in the bedroom. He dreamt of Jae’s hot talented mouth more nights than he cared to count. His gaze drifted over Jae’s red t-shirt, the fabric clinging to lean muscles. His fingers itched to scale Jae’s flat stomach, slide them to the black leather belt holding up the white ripped jeans.

Jae shifted slightly and he hoped Jae hadn’t caught him looking, as he met sleepy brown eyes. Jae blinked, wiped a hand down his face and sat up.

“You came,” Jae said clearing his throat.

“Your mother left me a message,” Jaesun said quietly.

Jae nodded and shifted again putting more space between them.

Jae bit back a yawn. “I’m sure you can guess why I called you.”

He’d watched Rebellion’s interview yesterday. “Do you want to apologize for hitting me?”

“No.” Jae shook his head, brown hair sweeping into his eyes. Jae pushed it back with impatience. “I want you to stop dragging me into your interviews.”

“I can’t,” Jaesun said.

“Why can’t you do it?” Jae demanded directing angry brown eyes at him.

“It’s not my call,” Jaesun said quietly.

Jae narrowed his gaze at him. “You want to tell me you’re a puppet? Do you have to do what your management team tells you? What happened to holding your ground?”

“You made that difficult for me,” Jaesun said quietly. “You’re not the only one facing problems, Jaehan.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Do you know how hard it is to see you, Jung, and Andre smiling?” Jaesun asked looking away. “Yesterday, at your press conference, I felt left out.”

“Don’t start that again,” Jae said. “I can’t take responsibility for your loneliness anymore, Jaesun. You made that choice.”

“You forced me into that choice when you wouldn’t listen to me.”

Jaesun felt old bitterness rise. He couldn’t help it. Without Rebellion, Black Shade would still exist; he knew it because Jae would have fought to keep the band alive. He resented Jae for not wanting to work things out with N-sang, if he had, they’d all be together now, working to preserve their legacy.

“I can’t let you forget me, Jae.”

“Haven’t you punished me enough? How many years will you hold this against me?” Jae asked quietly. “We even left so you could do what you want with N-sang. Can’t you let it go now?”

Jaesun studied Jae for a moment. He watched the wind ruffle Jae’s hair, wisps of hair falling over Jae’s smooth forehead. He wanted to reach out and trace the curve of Jae’s eyebrows. He’d spent hours lying next to Jae, watching him sleep.

“Business aside,” Jaesun said, his tone softening. “Do you miss me?”

Jae dropped his gaze to his lap. “I’m in love with someone, Jaesun.”

“You’re in love?” Jaesun narrowed his gaze hating the idea of someone else having what he’d had. He couldn’t imagine Jae hugging someone else, loving someone else, “Who?”

“Doesn’t matter,” Jae said. “Hating you, blaming you, it’s too tiring, Jaesun. I want to forget what we did to each other.”

Jaesun looked away. “You loved me.”

“You used my love,” Jae replied.

“I loved you in my own way,” Jaesun said bitterly.

Jae shook his head. “Don’t do this, Jaesun. I’m not that person, anymore.”

“Jae-,”

“Stop,” Jae snapped.

Jaesun blinked at the cold shiver that swept through him when he met Jae’s brown eyes.

“I’ve had it with you always blaming me, making me carry the burden of our past. I’ve made peace with my choice, and so should you. If you’re having trouble at N-sang Entertainment, deal with it, you’re the one who chose to stay. Stop using other people to sort your issues. I’m warning you, the next time you mention Rebellion in an interview, I’ll let them know the nature of our relationship down to the last detail.”

“You wouldn’t,” Jaesun said in shock. He preferred to keep his preferences to himself, “Jae that would ruin you too.”

Jae chuckled. “I don’t know what you mean by that, Jaesun. I’ve seen bad days these past few years. Days I was beyond ruin while you lived a good life. I’ve sat right here and contemplated living as a married man, growing vegetables and raising kids. Giving up the stage, my music and who I really am,” Jae shook his head and smiled. “I guess you wouldn’t know about that kind of feeling, Jaesun. So, yeah, letting people know who I really am is not something I’m afraid of, Jaesun. I’m quite comfortable in my own skin.”

“So you called me here to give me a warning?” Jaesun shook his head. “Is this blackmail, Jae?”

Jae shrugged. “I’m telling you to find a way to deal with your marketing campaigns that don’t include Rebellion. If you want to compete and find out which one of us wins more fans or public sympathies, why don’t you compete in the old-fashioned way? Do your best, Jaesun.”

Jaesun got off the platform. “That’s so like you, acting like you’re so high and mighty.”

“Accuse me however you like, just know what happens if the circus continues, Jaesun.”

Jae leaned back on the platform, resting his elbows on the soft wood. Jaesun watched him take a deep breath, his stance relaxed; he was no longer the suffering man he’d known four years ago. It scared him a bit. This Jae was stronger, happier.

“You’re an asshole,” Jaesun said, suddenly angry that Jae seemed to have pushed him aside. He’d hoped that Jae still felt something for him, but this, he shook his head. Loneliness swept through him and he turned away from Jae and headed to the front of the house.

“Right back at you, Jaesun,” Jae called after him.

****

Dan watched Jae talking with Jaesun from the kitchen door. His arms crossed against his chest, a frown on his forehead and he wondered what they talked about sitting so close.

“He’s handsome, our Jae,” Gae In said coming to stand beside him. “Isn’t he?”

“He really is,” Dan agreed. His frown deepened because Jaesun was sitting too close to Jae.

“He’s also been lonely,” Gae In said speculatively. “The last time he was here, he and Jaesun had a hard time. Jae cared a lot for him.”

Dan dragged his gaze away from Jae to turn to Gae In. “Jaesun wasn’t good to Jae.”

“So Jun told me,” Gae In said quietly. “Jae hides a lot from me when it comes to his close relationships. I sometimes wish I could force him to tell me everything he’s feeling so I can help him.”

Dan smiled, happy to know he wasn’t the only who felt like shaking Jae into submission. “Was he always like this?”

“‘In a way,” Gae In said with a fond smile. “Once he puts a thought in his head, it’s hard to get him to change his mind. When he was sixteen and decided to go to Seoul, it was hard for me, but I couldn’t change his mind.”

Dan nodded in understanding and watched Jaesun walk away in a huff. Jae lay back on the platform, his stance relaxed. Dan found himself hoping that Jae hadn’t escalated the situation.

“As hard as him leaving was, when he came back after Rebellion couldn’t perform, that was the hardest time for Jae. Watching him dig out that patch where we now plant cabbages and listening to him talk about staying here for life broke my heart. I was happy to see him every day, but I was sad too that I couldn’t make him happy.”

“Now he is with me,” Dan said.

“Yes, he is,” Gae In said looking at him and just meeting her gaze made him realize that she knew he and Jae were a couple. “Don’t hurt him like Jaesun.”

“Mum,” Dan started.

“Love him better than I ever will,” she continued quietly. “I’ve always felt inadequate as his mother. Not being able to support him the way I support his sisters with their husbands and boyfriends. No matter how accepting I am, his father and most of his older sisters don’t know about him, and I’m unable to change that for him.”

Dan kissed her cheek. “You love him just fine. I never had a mother like you. Jae is lucky to have you.”

She patted his cheek and nodded to her son. “Go on then, find out what they told each other. Bring him in later for coffee and dessert.”

Dan waited until she went into the house before he went to join Jae.

“Everything okay?” he asked sitting beside Jae.

Jae nodded, “Just fine. Jaesun won’t bother us.”

“What did you tell him?”

“Told him it was time to let it go,” Jae said. “If he doesn’t stop I’ll deal with it.”

The look in Jae’s eyes spoke more than his words so he refrained from asking what Jae had told Jaesun.

“I like your garden,” Dan said nodding to the cabbage patch. “Your mother told me you dug it out. Imagine my shock.”

Jae grinned and shifted so that he lay with his head on Dan’s lap. “I like when she makes me gimchi. I figured fresh cabbages from her garden would taste even better. Can we stay out here for a while?”

Dan looked up at the tree providing shade in the cool August afternoon. Stroking his fingers through Jae’s hair, he settled on the platform and nodded.

“Sure,” he said. “We can drive to Seoul later-”

He broke off when he looked at Jae and found him asleep.