You Make Me..crazy - Chapter 5

5. No! I won’t watch you mope

Dan helped Jae into the bathroom in the master bedroom. He settled him on the toilet seat and turned on the shower in the huge glass stall. Making sure to regulate the water until it was lukewarm.

He turned back to find Jae bent over the toilet bowl,heaving. Dan held back his own urge to puke when Jae let out the contents of his stomach. He always ended up puking in such situations. His mother had called him a sympathetic puker when was alive. Jae hugged the toilet bowl and heaved again, his dark hair falling over his face. Controlling his sense of smell, Dan moved to push Jae’s hair away from his face.

“Why did you drink so much?” he complained.

Jae scowled at him and gave another dry heave. Two more times and the puking ended. Dan gratefully hit the flush button on the toilet.

“You need to clear your head. Take a shower,” Dan said, when Jae sat on the floor.

“No.”

Jae pressed his forehead into his knees.

“Go away, leave me-”

“Shower,” Dan insisted, tagging on Jae’s black t-shirt. “I’ll let you argue with me later. Right now, get in the shower.”

“When you’re here?” Jae protested when Dan pulled his t-shirt off and dumped it on the floor. “No way-”

“Yes way,” Dan said. “There is nothing to be shy about.”

He pulled Jae up to his feet. Thankfully, the combination of booze and stomach upset made Jae easy to manipulate. In minutes, Dan had stripped the younger man and was pushing him into the shower. Dan didn’t miss the red marks along Jae’s shoulder and his neck. He wondered who Jae had spent the day with and a stab of jealousy lashed through him.

Jae groaned when the water splashed on his face and snarled.

“I can handle it from here.”

“Five minutes,” Dan told him before he closed the shower door.

Dan figured the person Jae spent the day with was probably the reason for the drinking. Collecting Jae’s clothes from the floor, he sighed and headed into the bedroom.

His phone buzzed and he answered without glancing at the caller ID.

“Did you find him?” Junghee asked.

“Yeah, don’t worry I’ll-”

“Turn on the television. You’re going to need help getting out of there,” Junghee cut in, his tone heavy with worry. “Someone saw Jaesun leaving the building. Reporters have swarmed the place. They believe Jae is upstairs. I should warn you that last time this happened a few reporters got into the building.”

Dumping Jae’s dirty clothes on the bed, Dan reached for the remote on the bedside table and turned on the flat screen on the wall across the bed. Sure enough, a clip of Jaesun rushing into a van kept replaying, the camera returning to the windows on the top floor of the building.

“I’ll handle it,” he said to Junghee. “You two don’t leave the house ’til this dies down.”

“Are you sure-?” Junghee started.

“This is my job now,” he said.

Junghee made an impatient sound on his end.

“Fine, keep me updated.”

Junghee ended the call and Dan watched the reporters waiting outside Jae’s building.

“Damn it,” he cursed under his breath.

The stubborn mule in the bathroom should have stayed at Junghee’s with them instead of coming here.

Why would Jae see Jaesun?

The marks on Jae’s neck filled his head. Dan cursed again and scrolled through the names on his phone. He paused, thinking about those marks, love bites really, could they be from Jaesun?

“Kim Jaehan you idiot,” he shook his head and dialed his lawyer, Mr. Chang. “I need you.”

“What’s up?”

“Reporters, I need to get Kim Jaehan out of his old apartment.”

“Alright, I’m on the way.”

Dan muted the television and glanced at his watch.

“Fifteen minutes, we need to leave before they start entering the building.”

Ending the call, Dan hurried to the closet to get clothes for Jaehan and Mr. Chang. He was going to use his lawyer as a decoy.

Ten minutes later, he had Jae reasonably sober, and dressed. Mr. Chang knocked on the door just as Jae was pulling on a black jacket.

“Wear this,” Dan handed Chang a shiny black hoody he had gotten from Jae’s closet. It drew enough attention to fool the reporters that Mr. Chang was Jae. Handing over dark glasses, keys and a cap, he continued, “There is a motorcycle in the back, use it. Where did you park?”

“Underground parking,” Chang replied.

“Good man. Give me your keys. We’ll just have to get my car tomorrow.”

Dan sighed and went back into the apartment to get Jae.

When they returned, Jae nodded to Chang and Dan said, “We’ll leave the moment you get their attention. Please drive carefully.”

Chang flashed them a smile.

“I’ve always wanted to be mistaken for a superstar.”

“Well, here’s your wish, hurry it up,” Dan said, glancing at Jae.

Jae looked ready to pass out soon, the faster they got in the car to safety the better. Locking the apartment door behind them, they headed for the stairwell while Chang took the elevator. Dan clutched Jae’s arm as they went down the stairs, keeping him steady.

“From now on call me first when you want to drink until you can’t think,” he said.

“Why?” Jae asked.

“Just do it, Jae,” Dan insisted.

They paused just inside the stairwell on the ground floor. Peering through the glass, Dan watched a wild group of reporters following Chang out the back entrance. They snapped pictures as they called out questions.

Dan wrapped an arm around Jae’s shoulders and led him downstairs to the underground parking. Chang had parked his car right by the elevators. Bundling Jae into the back seat of the town car, he got into the driver’s side and drove out of the building at a sedate pace. He paused at the parking lot entrance long enough to see Chang speed off in the opposite direction.

Joining traffic, Dan glanced at the rear view mirror to find Jae watching him. Shifting gears on the car, he met Jae’s gaze again and ordered.

“Don’t meet Jaesun again. You and him are history now, do you understand, Jae?”

Jae held his gaze for a moment before he responded with a slight nod.

***

“Why did you go to see Jaesun?” Junghee demanded the next morning.

Jae sat on his bed, his back against the headboard while Junghee paced the foot of the bed.

“When are you going to stop punishing yourself?”

“I needed to clear something with him,” Jae said quietly.

Not that it mattered, he’d just felt dirty after Jaesun left. Even the shower Dan forced him to take had not taken away the disgust.

“Please just let it go.”

“You got drunk. Dan had to get you. You have no idea what kind of problems you caused last night.”

“I apologized already,” Jae said with a sigh. “I’ve even promised to follow what he says. Jeez, stop yelling, my head is throbbing.”

“You’re such a pain,” Junghee said, glaring at him. “Jaesun, always Jaesun, did you stop to think what you two being seen together would do to the rest of us?”

Jae gritted his teeth and brought his knees up to his chin. He didn’t know what else to say to stop Junghee’s anger.

“That’s enough,” Andre said, coming into the bedroom. “We can’t keep fighting over someone who’s not here. Junghee, stop yelling at Hyung, he has a lot on his mind.”

Jae glanced at Andre.

“Things aren’t going to be the same anymore. You two need to stop thinking of me as hyung from now on. I’m having a hard time just as you are. Please just call me Jae from now on.”

“Hyung,” Andre started to say.

Jae shook his head, ready to beg that they stop calling him older brother. He was so lost. He couldn’t tell where they were heading anymore. He just didn’t know.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you,” Junghee said then, sitting down on the edge of the bed. “I was just so worried. The last time reporters camped at your house, you had a rough time. Please don’t do that again.”

“I’m going to give up that place,” Jae announced, his gaze on the covers. “There is nothing for me there anymore.”

Andre came to sit next to him on the bed and wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

“Alright, Jae,” Andre said gently. “We’ll start from scratch.”

“I’m tired,” Jae said after a few minutes. “Can you guys let me sleep for two hours? Please?”

Andre sighed and stood.

“Sure,” Andre said.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Junghee asked, watching him keenly.

“I’m fine,” Jae lied as he stretched out on his bed.

The truth was he had no idea how he felt. Everything was swirling in a big dark cloud and he didn’t know what to hold on to anymore. Maybe leaving and going back to Gong was best. What were they even fighting for, when they couldn’t perform anymore?

“No sleeping,” Dan interrupted his thoughts from the doorway. “Wake up, Jae. We have a lot of work to do.”

“What work?” Jae asked, hugging a pillow.

“Get out of bed, and let’s go to the living room. Junghee, Andre, let’s go.”

Dan’s glare didn’t leave much room for protest. Junghee and Andre stood for a moment in surprise, when Dan pointed to the living room, they both rushed out.

The little traitors, Jae thought as he sat up on the bed.

“Why are you ordering them around?” Jae demanded. “Is this your house?”

“It’s Junghee’s, not yours. Get out of bed.”

“No,” Jae stated annoyed by Dan’s entitlement.

“Don’t make me come over there,” Dan warned.

“What are you going to do? Beat me?” Jae chuckled. “I’d like to see you try.”

Dan narrowed his gaze and left the bedroom.

Jae lay down in satisfaction, happy to have won that small battle and hugged his pillow. He was too depressed to deal with Dan today. It would take at least a week before he could listen to Dan. Closing his eyes, he was getting ready to drift into sleep when cold water hit his face, drenching his clothes, hair, and his pillow. Jumping out of bed, wiping his face, he stared in shock at Dan who stood a few feet away holding an empty jar.

“Good, you’re out of bed, come into the living room, now,” Dan said with a small grin. As he left, Dan glanced at him. “If I come back, I’m bringing bigger ice cubes.”

Removing his t-shirt, he used it to wipe his face and cursed.

***

Jae walked into the living room five minutes later in a fresh t-shirt, his hair damp from Dan’s impromptu wash. His band mates carefully refused to meet his gaze until he took a seat.

Andre passed him a folder from the coffee table.

“So what is your plan?” Junghee asked, turning to Dan who sat in an armchair ignoring Jae’s entrance.

“The current attitude in this city won’t allow Rebellion on stage,” Dan said. “N-sang has too much power over the music industry. Even if you won the lawsuit against them and had their objections rejected, they have pressured everyone that matters. You can’t sell your music. A friend of mine sent me a memo N-sang shared with all their business associates. Song writers, vocal training coaches, music program producers, online digital music distributors, album distributors, they’ve all received this memo and your albums were removed from the shelves.”

Andre gave a little sigh. Jae hated the forlorn expression that fell over Andre’s face; he turned to Dan hoping that this man had good news for them.

“I have thought about this situation hard and the only solution is for Rebellion to release an album overseas. Somewhere without N-sang’s influence, that’s the only choice left.”

Overseas, Jae thought thinking of this new challenge. They’d have to learn foreign languages to survive. He shuddered at the thought. His English was weak. Andre had some English, so only Junghee was the strongest in that respect.

“We have to be realistic,” Dan said noting their stricken expressions. “You’re faced with a situation I can’t describe. There is no easy solution in this country.”

“There’s no way to fight what’s happening to us?” Junghee asked with a sigh.

Dan placed the folder on his lap on the coffee table.

“When you’re a worm, you have to crawl first, turn into a cocoon and recuperate before you reach the stage where you turn into a butterfly. Do you understand?”

Dan picked up a picture of Rebellion on the table and tore it into pieces. He dumped the pieces on top of the table and declared.

“You have to forget you ever were Black Shade or Rebellion,” Dan insisted in a quiet firm tone. “Jaehan, Junghee and Andre, you’re ordinary young men starting from zero. Nothing is easy, and you don’t know fame. You’re starting over.”

Jae let out a deep breath and looked at Dan.

He should have realized this was where they’d end up the moment they’d decided to walk out on N-sang Entertainment. The starting line, again, his gaze hardened with determination.

“How far have you reached with Rand Agency?” he asked quietly.

“My lawyer is working with your lawyers. Japan is out of the question. You can’t promote your music there. Besides, the reason why the press was so interested in Jaesun’s whereabouts yesterday has to do with Rand Agency.”

“What does that mean?” Junghee asked confused.

“N-sang and Rand have joined hands as of yesterday. Jaesun and all other N-sang artists will work in Japan using Rand Agency.”

Andre threw the folder Dan had given them on the coffee table in anger. “So, they interfered with our music and joined with our old agency to make more profits.”

All Jae could think was this was the reason why Jaesun had called him yesterday. Had he wanted to tell him, and then they’d ended doing other things-, he shook his head feeling sick.

“Why are we doing this?” Jae asked, looking at Dan. “What’s the point? N-sang will find a way to interfere even if we leave.”

“They might,” Dan replied holding his gaze. “But unless you try, Jae, you’re never going to find out if you can win against them.”

“Where would we go?”

“The world is pretty big out there.” Dan teased. “For now, you need to enroll in school in order to understand music better. We’ll assess your strengths and find out what we can do from there.”

“What will you do while we’re in school?” Jae asked with a frown.

This had to be a mutual arrangement and without any income coming from their activities. He needed to understand why Dan was sticking around.

“If you’ll open your folders, you’ll find an agreement. All your troubles in the past year have come from having exclusive contracts. Therefore, we’re not going to sign any contract. Suk Dan is not signing on Rebellion or former Black Shade to his company. I’m forming an entertainment and management company and you’re going to be my partners.”

Jae gave Dan a skeptical glance. No one would start a company and invite partners who couldn’t even perform. “You’re out of your mind.”

“Have your lawyer look over those documents. We’re partners, from now on,” Dan repeated solemnly. “Whatever profits our company gains, we’re going to share them. This is the best way for all of you to protect yourselves.”

Jae sobered and skimmed over the paperwork in his folder. “We’re going into business together? Is that what you really want, Suk Dan?”

Dan nodded. “Yes it is. I’m going to give my best, and so should you. We’ve nothing to lose if it doesn’t work out. We’ve everything to gain if it does. What do you say?”

Jae met Andre and Junghee’s gazes before he nodded. “We’ll have Kang Sang, our lawyer, go through these documents. If they’re good, then we’ll do it. As for schooling and all that, I’ll leave it to you. We’ll follow your lead.”

****

Can you see the Real me?

Having trained musically from the age of sixteen, admission into a university wasn’t hard. Their problems came with language. In Paris, classes were in French, none of them felt confident to start learning the language. The same applied for Germany and Italy, which left the U.S. as the only option. They could get by with the English they’d all learned during training.

To strengthen their confidence, Dan enrolled them in a comprehensive English course while they auditioned for admission in schools in the U.S. For six months, they studied English, ignoring the music industry around them. Jae found it soothing to have a goal. When their admission letters arrived, they celebrated at a small restaurant with Dan. Berklee had admitted them for a comprehensive two-year artist diploma course based on their accomplishments so far.

Before he left, Jae spent three hours on the phone explaining to his mother the reasons why he had to leave the country. She cried, and he did his best to comfort her, but in the end, he couldn’t stay. Rebellion didn’t have a place in Seoul anymore.

***

 

Two Years later

 

Dan drove up to the loft they’d rented for Rebellion’s stay in Boston. Parking his car, he stepped out in the cool April weather; the snow was gone, flowers blooming in the surrounding gardens. He took three bags of grocery shopping from the back seat and locked the car. There was promise in the air he thought as he entered the building and went upstairs to the loft. Using the key they’d given him to unlock the door, he paused to remove his shoes and wear sandals.

“Junghee, Andre,” he called out looking around the wide-open living area.

Mismatched couches filled the space, over-sized cushions scattered on every inch of the hardwood floors, in one corner of the living room he could tell a video game marathon had taken place.

“Jae?”

When there was no answer, he headed to the kitchen where he stowed away the grocery shopping he’d brought. Fruits and vegetables filled the bottom part of the fridge, Dan was happy to see they were at least keeping healthy. Making his way back to the living room, he decided to check the bedrooms.

Junghee and Andre’s rooms were empty. Stopping at the room at the end of the corridor, he paused at the door when he saw Jae sprawled on a silver gray bedspread. The room was clean, despite the dirty laundry in a pile by the closet. There was a neat desk stacked with music sheets and a laptop. There was a piano beside the desk and recording equipment on a short table. Jae had taken to writing music like water.

Jae shifted on the bed, drawing his gaze back to his sleeping figure.

Dan moved closer to the bed and stood watching Jae sleep. He looked peaceful, like an innocent child. Although, that innocence was only present when Jae was like this. In the past two years, Jae had changed. No longer trusting, he lived, breathed and ate music. He’d immersed himself so deep in the craft, he rarely discussed anything else, if they weren’t talking music, then they discussed business.

Dan feared Jae had turned the disappointments he’d faced at home into a hunger for knowledge. Not that it was a bad thing, noDan sighed. He just wished Jae would stop and notice other thingsother people.

Jae shifted and suddenly those light brown eyes were open.

Dan felt the impact of that sleepy stare so deep inside him he had to take a step back.

Jae yawned and rubbed his eyes. Sitting up, he pushed his hair back from his face.

“You’re here,” Jae said as though noting the weather. “You should have woken me up, what time is it?”

Dan glanced at his watch. “It’s almost eleven o’clock. Were you up all night again?”

Jae nodded. “Yeah, we had a performance at a local club last night. When I got home, I had to finish some work I need to turn in before graduation.”

Jae slid out of bed and stretched. He’d grown taller, by an inch, Dan thought in amusement. Still skinny, though he worked out like a maniac, forever running, or riding his bicycle.

Every time Dan thought about Jae’s body, he remembered the night he’d pushed him into the shower after the drinking binge. The dreams he’d endured over the last two years, he sighed and looked away from Jae.

“Where is everyone else?” Dan asked walking to the windows to stare out into the street.

“Ahprobably out for brunch. One of the professors invited us last night.”

Dan turned in time to see Jae pull off his white t-shirt and throw it to the growing pile in the corner. He paused when he noticed a tattoo on Jae’s left shoulder blade. He looked away when Jae turned afraid to betray his true feelings.

“Did you manage?” Jae asked as he went into his closet to dress for the day.

Dan cleared his throat and leaned on the wall beside the window as Jae rummaged in his closet.

“Yes, our company is officially registered. Jade Entertainment is currently running two actors and one musician in Seoul. All three have won awards this last year.”

“Will they find us if they check the registration?” Jae demanded. “I would hate for all three to suffer if N-sang found out we own Jade.”

“No, they won’t find you. The same way no one knows you own Kim Caf.” Dan promised.

Jae walked out of the closet in faded blue jeans and a gray V-neck shirt. He looked so handsome, Dan wanted to pull him into his arms and kiss him.

Dragging slender fingers through silky dark hair, Jae sat on the bed to wear socks.

“I’ve been having nightmares for weeks about that.” Jae confessed with a sigh. “Those bastards still want a fight, and we’re not ready. One misstep and we’ll be back to zero.”

“Don’t worry so much,” he soothed. “Concentrate on your music and getting ready for the next part of this.”

Jae finished with his socks and turned on the bed to give him a brilliant smile. “That’s the fun part, right? We’ll be back on stage.”

He couldn’t help but return that smile. “Of course, that’s where you belong. Jae, you’ve really changed you know.”

“What?” Jae looked at him with a raised eyebrow, making him laugh.

“That’s more like it. I was so happy when you started making sentences when you talked to me I forgot that was your favorite word.”

Jae stared at him blankly.

“When we first met,” Dan reminded him. “All you’d tell me was ‘what’ with this annoyed expression on your face. It made me feel worried you’d never trust me.”

Jae smiled and stood.

“Well, that was then, this is now. C.E.O Suk, I trust you most in my life now, next to Junghee, Andre and my mum.”

Dan felt a wave of happiness at that simple declaration. They had barely started on their battle; it was good to know he’d at least gained trust. They were going to need it by the time this ended.

“Are you hungry?” he asked Jae. “I’ll make you breakfast.”

“It’s almost eleven,” Jae pointed out as they headed out of his bedroom. “Shouldn’t you be making lunch?”

Dan placed an arm around Jae’s shoulders.

“Isn’t it more fun to eat breakfast at eleven? Come on, I’ll even make you your favorite, egg toast.”

“Since when is that my favorite,” Jae said with a faux scowl.

“Since I made it for you and all you could do was moan and eat it like a starved child.” Dan teased him. “After you eat, we can discuss business. I think I’ve found a way to get you back in to the South Korea market, but it’s a crazy plan and it’s going to need work.”

“Didn’t you know?” Jae asked as they entered the kitchen. “I’m in the business of overworking and crazy dreams.”

****