You Won’t Understand Me - Chapter 103

Yul texted Zeng that he would have to cancel their plans because he would be taking his team out to celebrate the success of the case they had been working on.

Not long after, Zeng replied with a thumbs up. Yul knew that despite the cancellation of their plans, his boyfriend would be low-key proud of him that he had decided to socialize because Zeng had been worried that he was too aloof at work. That may be the case, but his team was already habitual of his strictness and aloofness and had adjusted well to it.

He was initially feared because of the way he interacted with them but soon the team came to know that it was just how their captain was, a man of few words. Case after case, they came to know that the cold senior was not so old but was responsible and somebody they could lean on and also somebody who treated them to dinner if they insisted. Captain Wang Yul was now respected, instead of feared.

They hit the local restaurant with an open bar. As expected, his team did not hesitate while ordering the most expensive dishes in the restaurant and asking for seconds.

While a few sensible ones knew their limits when it came to alcohol, the others held no restraint. The juniors were deep drunk, two of them already puking in the bathrooms.

JJ even hit his depressive phase of drunkenness. He was crying while downing his second bottle.

“My girlfriend dumped me. She said I was a dork and never paid attention to her,” he cried, telling Yul his sad life story who didn’t give a fuck. “Tell me, boss, is it my fault that I don’t find her that lovely? I mean, he’s pretty but not lovely.” He asked, clinging to Yul for answers, who didn’t bother giving any because he was too busy thinking about how happy officer Choi must be after seeing his children.

“Maybe she’s not the right girl for you,” another drunk junior, Tong, commented from the side in a slurred speech.

“Maybe,” JJ slurred, “Hell, sometimes I feel like no girl is right for me. Sometimes I think I am gay,” he blurted out. At once, the entire table went silent except for Tong who laughed rather loudly, slapping her hands on the table, “Ha, I think so too.”

Officer Peng, who was Yul’s immediate junior, was not happy about the topic of discussion. He snorted bitterly. “Why would you think that? You are not, okay? You don’t look gay.”

“How are gays supposed to look?” Yul asked out loud before he could stop himself. He had decided to not partake in this conversation because it would lead to nothing productive but the words left his mouth before he could do anything to stop them.

Peng smirked, “You know.” He said and then brought his hand up and limped it at the wrist.

Ah, the euphemism.

A few others snickered.

Yul felt sober all of a sudden. The harsh cold reality had slapped him in the face and opened his eyes. These people who labelled themselves normal laughed at people like him, made fun of them, ridiculed them. Though things were legalised, even if they were protected by the law, what really changed? Outside of offering human rights to people who were already human, what exactly changed? Yul failed to realise after everything that there would always be people who would choose to be bigots.

“I don’t think I could trust someone like that on my side,” Peng added and Yul froze, his eyes going wild. He looked up at the man who imparted his opinions when nobody asked for them.

“Imagine someone like that actually among us, he won’t be able to even pick up a gun,” Peng snickered and Yul so badly wanted to throw the drink on his face but he refrained because that would not do anything but cause problems for him and other people.

Yul pondered how Peng would feel if he came to know that his captain had been one of those that he abhorred. How would they all react when they come to know that he was a bisexual, that he had a boyfriend. Would they pay the same amount of respect to him? Would they look at him the same way? Would he still be their respected Captain Wang?

He wanted to find out. He wanted to slap the truth in Peng’s face and see how he would react. The desire was insane.

But what would he achieve once he did that?

A short sentence of satisfaction but he had much more to lose. He felt small, he felt cowardly. The table had gone back to some other nonsensical topic but Yul remained silent.

His thoughts were broken upon the feeling of vibration from his pocket. It was from the text messages that Zeng had sent.

“Sorry to disturb you when you are with your friends”

“But if you are going to drink a lot then drop your address”

“So that I can pick you up”

“Enjoy :)”

Yul smiled seeing the texts. He could tell Zeng was worried. But he would not be needing him to pick himself up since he was rendered sober.

He texted back telling the same.

Though Yul wanted to drown himself in alcohol to get rid of this nagging sensation at the back of his brain, he did not drink much since he had to look after his juniors.

He had to pick up JJ who had passed out and drag him out. The conscious drunk ones would be taking the unconscious ones to their houses to stay over. Yul called taxis for everyone, paid for it and sent them home safely and only then decided to leave.

He was suddenly missing Zeng. Things would have been merrier for him if he would have gone with his boyfriend.

Maybe this drinking party was a bad idea. He should not have done that. He should not have treated them. He should not have allowed himself to be so caring towards them.

He felt like it was his fault that he had opened up so that others had an easy access to hurt him.