You Won’t Understand Me - Chapter 77

It was rare enough for Subin to call Yul. After his solo debut, the Korean guy had been bound to strict rules on his interactive activities as an idol.

“What do you want?” Yul did not bite back the edge in his tone.

“Nothing,” the idol deadpanned. “I am going crazy today with the greetings cards and bouquets. I was waiting for a call from you but the day is almost over and you didn’t even wish me!”

He pouted on the other side.

Yul sighed. It was Subin’s birthday and of course, he would be celebrating it just like every other happy person on the planet. Just because one person’s world is collapsing didn’t mean everyone was going to mourn. So what if Yul’s birthday this year was the worst birthday ever. So what if that day he had drowned himself in alcohol and wallowed in self-pity, the world would not be stopping for him. It would keep moving.

“Happy birthday,” he said, annoyed because this cruel world was not understanding his pain.

“Oye oye, you gotta be happy while saying happy birthday. You sound so dull. What happened?”

Not many people knew about their relationship and he also did not want to disclose their failed relationship but Subin had been a close companion even from hundreds of miles away.

“Zeng ge broke up with me.”

There was silence on the other side. When Subin spoke his voice was full of disbelief.

“You are kidding, right?”

“Even I would want this to be a joke. But it’s true. He left me.”

“Dude, how? What did you do?”

“How do you all always assume it’s my fault?”

“Duh because you are mostly at fault. I mean you are the reckless one between the two of you. So it’s safe to assume you were at fault.”

“I wasn’t this time,” Yul asserted.

“Okay okay. Then what exactly happened?”

Yul asked himself. What exactly happened? Whose fault was it that their years long relations had come to an end? His or Zeng’s? Did it even matter now? The more he pondered the more jumbled it became.

“Yul, you still there?”

“Yes, I am here.”

“So are you gonna tell?”

“I guess not.” Yul was not ready to talk about it over again and Subin respected his boundaries. “Alright.”

“How are you?” He asked instead.

Yul wanted to laugh at the mess that his life was. He was not fine at all. “I am okay.”

“Are you?” His friend pressed.

“Does it even matter, Bin?”

“It does,” Subin said aggressively, “Look, no shade on Zeng ge but I was there in your life even before he came. Just because one person who loved you left doesn’t mean everyone is leaving. It doesn’t mean that all the love in this big ass world has quit. We are still here for you. I don’t know how you two ended things but all I can feel is that you are torturing yourself with it every single day and it, in turn, is hurting those who care for you. Your parents care for you. I care for you, Yul. So stop doing that to yourself. I don’t want to see you like this, okay. I care because I love you!” He was breathless as he finished, “No homo.” He added quickly.

Yul shook his head, smiling. Though the world changed, this idiot didn’t. He felt fortunate to have something constant in his life. “Thank you,” he said, grateful to have Subin as his friend.

“What about you?” Yul asked, “You said you met someone. How’s it going?”

Subin groaned, “The situation is a bit tight, man. You know how it is here. I even got my phone just now, for the live birthday stream. I am allowed to use it only for a limited time. The agency is being lenient on my style and is allowing me to make the music that I want. But it’s still strict about the dating policy. They even warned me when we went for lunch together and the fans spotted us. It was fucking mess.” He mumbled,” Falling in love is career suicide.”

“But…” Yul said the unspoken word and urged him to continue.

“But my heart is refusing to look away. They are amazing, Yul.”

“They?” Yul raised an eyebrow.

Subin chuckled, “No offence to polys but ‘they’ is singular here. Jinsol prefers to use gender-neutral pronouns.”

Yul nodded in understanding. This was interesting. At least somebody was finding love. “Jinsol, huh? What do they do?”

“Theatre,” Subin answered shyly, something Yul had never expected from the shameless gremlin, “I met them in a play screening for which I was the music composer. We have the same thoughts on life, art and music. The more time we spent, the more I liked them. Long story short, I have fallen… deep.”

Yul smirked. Though it had taken quite some time but ultimately his friend had met the one. “So, are you gonna pursue or let go?” He winced saying the last words.

“I don’t know. But to be honest, if it were in my hands, I don’t want to let go. I think they feel the same about me. They are special, Yul. I know it from my heart, they are the one. I don’t want to lose them. But I can’t leave my music either. I will have to wait to make it work. If it’s okay with them, they gotta wait too. If it’s not, then we go separate ways. The struggle is real, man!”

“Sounds tough,” Yul commented.

“It is!” Subin asserted, “I want them both. But I can’t, at least not now. Life is such a bitch!”

“Yeah,” Yul agreed, his jaw locking, “It’s such a bloody bitch.”

Subin snorted, “You know, life wasn’t this hard a few years back. We had big dreams, we strived for it. But now it feels different. It’s like we have all grown up too fast.”

Yul couldn’t agree more. Every word spoken was true.

Subin spoke after a while, “There has to be a way.”

Yul nodded, “I pray that there is. You deserve it.”

“So do you,” Subin threw back, “Don’t put yourself down, Yul. You have to keep going.”

Subin was right. Even when he had lost the one he loved, the world didn’t quit. And so he won’t.

He had nothing left to go back to, except his work. And so he would turn to the only thing left for him. His job. He went to his bureau with a new vigour.

They had successfully tracked down another drug supplier. The division from another province had transferred the case to them since the drug lord would be coming to their area. Yul was more than ready.

This man was a big name in the underworld and also had other crimes against him. Capturing him would be a big blow to the underworld and its crime circles.

Yul had his squads ready. They were four in number, each consisting of about eight members. Each unit was supervised by a vice-captain while Yul led them all.

“We have been trying to track him down for months and he is finally within our grasp. This time we are putting them behind bars.” He spoke with determination as he addressed his squads.

“They use heavy weaponry, advanced arms and explosives. While we have our own weaponry, we lack advancement. We have about equal numbers. It will ultimately come down to how we combat. The target is experienced and skilled. Be careful with every step you take. Am I understood?”

The squad replied in unison, “Yes, Sir!”

“Any questions?”

“No, Sir!

“Alright, team!” Captain Wang Yul gave a final boost, “Let’s get them!”