You Won’t Understand Me - Chapter 82

“Hello!” The young lad bowed to them. “Don’t worry, your son is in good hands. My current supervisor, Dr Lee Kuan is operating on him. Mr Wang will surely make it. Please stay strong.” He said with all his sincerity as Zeng patted his head.

Soon after, Zeng took Mr And Mrs Wang to the canteen of the hospital.

“You both sit here. I’ll go order for you.” Zeng left for the counter and brought back two bowls of rice noodles.

“Sorry, this is the best we could have in the canteen.” He smiled apologetically placing them before Yul’s parents.

“It’s alright, son.” Mr Wang replied. “But where’s your bowl?” He asked, seeing only two bowls on the table.

“Um… I already ate.” Zeng lied. His appetite had died long ago.

Mr Wang made him sit on a chair with them.

“You sit here. I will get the order for you.”

Xiao Zeng, his son’s ex-boyfriend had already done a lot for them. They shouldn’t always keep bothering him. Mr Wang was the one who didn’t accept Yul’s relationship with Zeng initially. Over the years, he came to know how wrong he had been. Zeng had been the source of happiness for their only son for years. In their eyes, Zeng had become a reliable man whom Mr And Mrs Wang had entrusted their son to.

Everything was going well or so they thought until the news of their break-up reached the Wang couple. As Zeng was no more a part of their lives, not only Yul was devastated but so were his parents. However, even now, he was supporting them. Even though the foundation relationship has been long broken, he was still caring as ever.

Mr Wang got up from his chair to head towards the counter. Zeng tried protesting but couldn’t win against the older man. He also got up but Mrs Wang held Zeng’s hand in her frail, wrinkled ones, urging him to stay. Giving in, he took a seat. Seeing the sulk on his face, Mrs Wang warned in her soft voice,

“If Yul finds out that we had been starving you, he will scold us even more, you know.”

Zeng’s heart gave a pang thinking that Yul still cared for him even after everything.

‘That’s impossible. Don’t get your hopes high.’

His conscience spoke, making him immediately dismiss the thought as soon as it came to his mind. He looked away from the older women.

“Mom, I don’t think it matters to him anymore.” He didn’t want to be delusional.

Mrs Wang smiled, “Trust me, you still matter a lot to him… and always will.” She said, patting his head.

Zeng looked at her in disbelief. She wasn’t lying, he could tell. He suppressed a sob hearing her words, looking away to hide the pain.

Mr Wang came back with a bowl of noodles for Zeng and took his pre-meal tablet. The three finished their meals despite lacking appetite.

After they finished they walked back to the Emergency Ward. Zeng excused himself. “You guys please go ahead. I’ll quickly go to the washroom and come back.”

They parted ways and Zeng went to the washrooms for resident doctors. It was empty as everyone was on-duty.

Going over to the sink, he took water in the palms of his hands and splashed it over his face, again and again. Tears began to form in his eyes and started mixing with the droplets of water on his face. He tried holding back those tears but they kept pouring down. Finally, giving in, he clutched the sink and cried pathetically.

“Moved on. What bullshit!”

No matter how many times he convinced himself that he had moved on from his relationship with Yul but the truth was he clearly hadn’t. How could he even think about it? He loved Yul and he still did. There was no point in denying that anymore.

His determination of the past six months was all in vain. He couldn’t do it; he couldn’t forget about the other person. All it took was a single mention of Yul’s name and he crumbled down.

Nothing had changed. He was still the same pathetic fool. So useless! Yul was in a position that he had feared the most, his love was teetering with death and he… he couldn’t do a thing, like always.

He felt miserable beyond measure.

He tried not getting bothered, he tried forgetting; tried not associating himself with the other person so that no pain would come towards his way. Yet here he was… back on ground zero. Back to crying.

Wasn’t he insecure? Wasn’t he the one who ran fearing the pain? Wasn’t he egotistical to think that he had been doing a favour for the other person by walking out of his life? Wasn’t he guilty of hurting the other person?…

Well…

Fuck his insecurities! Fuck his ego! Fuck all the reasonings! Fuck everything!

None of that matters!

Only Wang Yul… He is all that matters.

Yul was the only one that mattered to him. Nothing else!

Xiao Zeng had never believed in God. It was against his logical way of thinking that there is any supernatural power. He had his own principles and he strictly abided by them. For him that the distance of God was negligent. However, today, he wanted to believe that there is some superior power above them who can hear his prayers. He wished that his prayers would be granted for the first and last time. He won’t ask for anything else ever again.

Wang Yul’s life.

He knew that no one would hear him. It was all in the surgeon’s hands and the severity of Yul’s medical condition. But he still prayed. He was willing to put down all his ethics and principles in life, even if there is the slightest hope.

Calming down after a while, he wiped his face with a handkerchief and looked in the mirror once more. His eyes were already swollen and red, as they were before, the light in them.had faded. He looked paler than usual; his hair ruffled in a mess.

Pathetic… that’s how he looked; that’s how he felt.

He decided to return back to the Emergency Ward. However, upon reaching there, he sensed the change in its atmosphere.

His feet refused to move as his world seemed to spin. A ward boy bumped into him while running towards Yul’s room. He also saw Fanxing rushing towards the concerned room and so did a few other ward-boys, one of which dragged along a stretcher. They all went inside Yul’s OT.

Zeng’s blood ran cold as he saw Yul’s parents standing, looking at the opened OT door from which a surgeon came out.

“Y- Yul… ”

Those were the only words he could utter as his throat went dry and he felt choked.