You Won’t Understand Me - Chapter 93

The pair was in each other’s embrace for the longest time. Both whispering words of apologies, of promises and of love. By the time they broke apart, Yul had calmed down but Zeng kept crying.

Yul kept rubbing his back as he held him by his side, drawing soothing circles, asking him to calm down but Zeng simply could not. He had pent up everything and it needed a release.

“You should stop crying, Zeng ge.” Yul requested him as they sat on the couch. Seeing Zeng cry physically pained him. This was probably the longest his boyfriend had cried among all the times.

Zeng had a small frown on his face as he rubbed away the tears from his face which kept coming in new streaks. “The tears are involuntarily coming out. I can’t stop them,” he said, after a hiccup.

Yul smiled. At times like this, the older guy appeared so small to him. Who would think a reputed surgeon, a six-foot-tall man in his thirties could cry like a baby? However, to Yul, it was not a new thing. It all came in a package with Zeng, it was a part of him. If Yul had to witness his gorgeous smile, he would also have to bear Zeng’s tears and lend him a shoulder to cry upon.

He cupped Zeng’s face and wiped tears. Zeng closed his eyes as he did that and Yul placed kisses on either of them. The doctor’s eyes fluttered open as he met Yul’s loving gaze.

“Zeng ge, what did you use to say when I had cried once in the past? … Oh, I remember now.” He snapped his fingers and pulled Zeng closer, pressing their foreheads together, “Baby ZengZeng, please stop crying or you will dehydrate yourself. Your beautiful eyes will turn puffy.”

Zeng pouted, wriggling in his hug, “Are you using my lines on me, piggy? Mind you, I will press copyright charges.”

Yul laughed. “Yes, I am using your lines, Dr Xiao.” He hugged his lover. “And no, I am not afraid of your threats. I am sure you are kind enough to not press any charges on your current boyfriend or should I say, your future husband.”

He felt Zeng sigh in his embrace. “You still want to marry me?” He asked.

Yul wondered, “Well… I never thought of any other possibility.”

That made Zeng look up at him. From the look on his face, Zeng could tell he was serious.

Yul wrapped his arms around Zeng’s neck and swayed them from side to side. “I am officially going to ask you someday and you are going to say yes.”

“Oh yeah? How are you so sure about that?” Zeng jutted his chin and raised an eyebrow. “Like what if I say no?”

“You will have to say yes,” Yul insisted, “That’s your punishment for breaking up with me.”

Zeng shook his head at the confidence. “Wang Yul, you are impossible!” He said marvelling at the police officer and lightly smacked him on the chest.

“Ouch!” Yul doubled over in pain.

“Oh shit, I am so sorry!” Zeng immediately went in to check his injuries but stopped when Yul caught his wrists and smirked at him.

“You cursed!” He noted with a smug smile.

Zeng gasped and covered his mouth, his face flushed in embarrassment. Yul laughed as much as he could without hurting himself.

Seeing that gummy smile, Zeng laughed alongside him. How much he missed such times! His world was complete now with he was with Yul. Yul too relished in the sight of the most beautiful smile of his most beautiful angel. He wished time could stop here. Yul closed his eyes, enjoyed the company of his most beloved person.

“Yul?”

Zeng looked down to face Yul as the other rested his head on Zeng’s shoulder, “Did you ever think of leaving me for good during the time we spent apart?”

Yul leaned and dropped a quick peck on the older guy’s lips, going back to rest his head on his shoulder, “To be honest, I thought about it every single day… but couldn’t do so.” He mumbled the last part as he played with the fabric of his shirt.

Zeng caressed Yul’s cheek with his thumb as he resumed.

“That day when you walked out of the door, I cried for the whole night. I had hoped that you would come back running to me and say that it was all a joke or some stupid prank. But you didn’t. You didn’t return. I waited there, kneeling for hours but you never came back.”

“I am sorry.” Zeng apologized sincerely. If possible, he could go back to the past and take all of Yul’s pain away.

“It’s all right now.” Yul reassured, “You are here with me, so nothing else matters.”

The two stayed in silence before Yul spoke, taking Zeng’s hand in his own. “You want me to leave the fields work, right? I will leave it. Just say the word and I will do it. I will never make you worry. As I have already promised you, I will do everything you say.”

“No, you don’t need to change anything.” Zeng hurriedly denied. He looked at his hand which was clasped with Yul’s. “It was my fault that I couldn’t understand you. Your job means a lot to you. I should have known better to not meddle with it and worry every single second. No matter what, I shouldn’t have imposed something on you that you didn’t want to do.”

He pursued his lips and resumed after a while, “See, I am still not sure. Your job is dangerous, there’s no denying that and it stresses me beyond anything. But it’s also true that to keep you from dying, it’s not right to take away one of your reasons for living. I am scared… even now and this thing will keep scaring me for a long, long time. But I will have to deal with it. This is something that’s dear to you and as much as I am afraid to hurt myself because of it, I also don’t want you to hold back on your life choices. I will somehow bear it. Just… just don’t die, okay? I won’t be able to bear with that.” Zeng caressed the unwounded cheek with his warm trembling hand. Yul placed his larger palm on Zeng’s hand and brought it to his lips to press a firm kiss on it.

“I promise, I won’t.”