Your Eternal Lies - Chapter 82

After Epilogue: Their Summer (4)

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After pretending to have a wedding with the kids in the neighborhood, Rosen got curious. She asked Ian while eating a snack when they got home.

“Ian, don’t you want to have a baby?”

Watching her eat, Ian, who was drinking water, coughed. He stared at Rosen with a puzzled expression. It seemed that he was taken aback by the words that casually fell out of her mouth. Either way, she asked him what she was curious about.

“We have done many things to make children.”

“Please don’t speak too loud. Emily listens.”

Ian tried to stop Rosen by using Emily, who was peacefully watering the flower beds in the garden, but to no avail.

“What? We kissed in front of the kids.”

“…”

“And Emily doesn’t care. People are asking if I have any good news these days. Emily likes babies!”

“Henry is out there, too.”

“Henry asks often, too.”

“If he asks, just tell him to shut up and kick him in the leg.”

“Why are you so embarrassed? People in the world think that if we sleep together, we will have children soon. It’s usually like that. Everyone is curious, but I don’t think you really want it.”

“It’s you who chooses it, not me.”

That said, he was more obsessed with contraception than she was. In the early days when it was difficult to come to Primrose, she didn’t want to make a child in an unstable situation, but when she thought about it carefully, it was weird not to do so. She could stay for months now if she wanted to, so it was something worth asking, no matter what she thought.

“So it doesn’t matter.”

“You are lying.”

He was too obvious when he lied. Rosen thought he could be a good pilot but not a good spy. He avoided her eyes as she interrogated him, and eventually confessed.

“To be honest, I don’t want one.”

“Why?”

“Once upon a time, my mother almost passed away while giving birth to me. Emily, too, I heard, had a hard time.”

“…”

“I don’t want to take any risks anymore. No matter how small the odds. I’ve had enough of that.”

A long time ago, Rosen thought he was the bravest man in the world. As depicted in propaganda, he seemed to have nothing to fear. He was the one who survived through the low odds many times. He drove fighter jets that could be shot down by the enemy at any time, and commanded dangerous operations very many times.

He survived. In other words, he lost so many people in the process.

After the war he became timid. Not because he was afraid of getting hurt, but because he was afraid of hurting the people around him. He was always anxious. The same anxiety applied to Rosen, perhaps even worse.

“All I need is you.”

“…”

“Really.”

Rosen felt sorry for him as he struggled to answer the light question. She quickly informed him that she had no strong feelings about it. To lighten his heart a little.

“Actually, I have no idea. I was just asking out of curiosity.”

“Then let’s just play together for the time being. Think about that a long time in the future.”

His choice of words was so uncharacteristic that Rosen burst out laughing. He was a person who really didn’t fit the word ‘play’.

“What are you going to play with?”

Mischievous words poured out of her mouth. Ian cut off her words like a knife, as if he had foreseen what she was going to say.

“I don’t necessarily want to play with you like that.”

“You don’t do that in your dreams.”

Rosen mumbled involuntarily, then swallowed her breath and shut her mouth. She tried to cover things up, but Ian wasn’t an idiot. He looked at her with astonished eyes as if he had grasped the whole situation with just a few words.

He discovered that his dreams contained the real her.

“You…”

“I kept trying to hide it because I was afraid your reaction would be like this.”

He couldn’t say anything for a long time.

Of course, he showed an unexpected side in his dreams, but Rosen didn’t care much.

It is said that dreams are a reflection of the unconscious, but are we absolutely not acting in reality as we do in dreams?

Dreams were originally an unstable medium that could not be controlled according to the owner’s will.

Rosen smiled awkwardly at Ian.

She never had a bad intention. There were several reasons. She needed someone to practice her magic on, and she wanted to see Ian before she went on vacation, or wanted to make sure he was doing well. Her biggest desire was to save him from nightmares, even for a moment.

It was like that the first few times. However, the honest words he spoke to her in his dreams reassured her, so even after she was able to meet him in real life, she often visited his dreams. Even though she knew it was rude.

“I missed you.” 

“I love you.”

“I am afraid that you will forget me.”

It wasn’t that he wouldn’t say that in real life. However, in the dreams, he was much more honest than in reality. It was nice to see his expression like that. Of course, sometimes he got too honest with himself, and ran away in a fit of shame…

Ian stood up from his seat and went outside. Rosen hurriedly followed him. He didn’t want to meet her gaze.

“I thought it was a dream.”

“You don’t have to make excuses.”

“…I really thought it was a dream. And in a dream, I cannot act according to my will.”

“I’m sorry. You’re not at fault. I’m wrong.”

“Never come into my dreams from now on.”

“…Even if I want to see you?”

Rosen asked back with the most pitiful face. She couldn’t be by his side every day. Periodically, she had to return to Walpurgis Island. There were times when she wanted to see him when she was far away, and there were times when she wanted to make sure he was okay.

“Are you sure I can’t?”

He couldn’t help but say no. He was silent for a moment, then looked at her and said.

“I can’t control my dreams.”

“…”

“So, come in only when you feel confident enough that you can escape.”

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