Your Love For Mine - 3 Desire

After a long day, it’s finally time for our lunch break.

I lean back in my chair and heave a hefty sigh. I was ignoring it for a while now, but it looks like I’m really going to be spending my lunch break in the cafeteria with those three.

How am I going to explain this to Nick and Sig? Maybe I should just lie and tell them she’s my cousin or something?

But the reality is that such a convenient lie probably won’t work.

Not with guys like them.

They’re already on my tail, I can’t just toss something that half-assed their way…

And yet, I can’t find it in myself to just throw in the towel yet. As little as we have in common, I still don’t feel like I want to lose them. Which means I’ll have to try to lie, even if it won’t work. It’s better than just accepting defeat!

As I come to this conclusion in my head, the usual two had already approached me without me even noticing.

Nick places his palm on my shoulder and smiles.

“Hey Chase, ready to go grab a bite? Chris is waiting at the usual spot.”

“A-ah, um, about that…”

“Do you wanna watch us duel while you eat? It’s really fun.”

“Duel?”

“Yeah, we brought our Yu-Gi-Oh! cards to school today. I don’t know why Nick said it’d be fun though, all he does is run try-hard meta decks that suck all the fun out of it.”

“What’s wrong with you, man? If you’re playing something then play to win. Don’t intentionally buy bad cards then cry about try-harding.”

“Yeah, don’t buy bad cards, haha. I’m totally not complaining because I literally lose before I even get to draw from my deck! Haha FUCK you dude. You’ll see what I’m talking about Chase, it’s really stupid. Let’s head over to the Cafeteria.”

I shift my eyes nervously, looking away from both of my friends.

“Uhh…”

“Hm? What’s wrong Chase? You look worried.”

“W-well, I am a little…”

“Do you want to talk about it? You can tell us anything.”

Anything? We both know that’s not true, Nick.

The only thing I can do here is lie.

“Well the thing is…”

As I was about to offer up my fake story, the door to the classroom slams open as if on queue. The three of us, as well as the other students in the class, turn our heads toward the sound in surprise.

In the doorway stands Scarlet Sterling, who looks rather indifferent to the commotion she’s caused.

“That girl? What’s she doing here?’

Nick asks this while looking directly down at me with a suspicious gaze.

“Ehehehe, I wonder?”

Feigning ignorance doesn’t seem to do much though. Scarlet’s eyes immediately fixate on me and she begins heading towards us. I barely even had the opportunity to formulate a plan before she could stop before my face.

“You.”

She grabs me by me by the wrist.

“Uh, yes?”

She stares into my eyes for a moment.

It’s eerie how little emotion I can see in her face while she looks down at me.

Am I really that much of a lesser being to her? That kind of judgemental attitude is kind of rude, isn’t it? All this because you’re a little popular?

But eventually, she loosens up and smiles.

“Let’s have lunch together.”

Oh god, my heart’s bpm may or may not have just skyrocketed.

Why does she have to be so cute? Furthermore s-she’s touching me… I’ve never been touched like this by a girl this cute before. I might have been upset with her earlier, but now? Who cares? I’m just happy to be alive in this moment!

“S-sure…”

“HOLD ON A MINUTE!”

Nick looks on at Scarlet with distrusting, almost resentful eyes.

“What may I ask, is your relationship to my friend Chase?”

Scarlet turns to face Nick for a split second with a look of extreme disgust, one you’d probably only cast while looking down at a cockroach.

But after that second passes, her usual smile returns.

“Ah, that? He’s…”

And then, she utters the forbidden word.

“My boyfriend, of course.”

“…”

This heart of mine that was pumping warm blood through my body just moments ago suddenly goes cold.

You’re… You’re joking, right…?

Nick’s face goes blank.

He clearly hadn’t expected that kind of answer from her.

“D-don’t misunderstand Nick. This is…”

This is what, exactly?

Explaining isn’t something that can fix this situation, is it? In his mind, those words from Scarlet were everything he needed to brand me as a traitor. There’s nothing more that can be said at this point.

I look towards Sig, who also can’t seem to find the words to say.

“Anyywayyy, the two of us will be on our way now!”

She tugs at my wrist and begins leading me to the cafeteria.

“Tch.”

As we exit the class, that cheerful demeanor of hers, or I suppose it should be called a façade at this point, crumbles before my eyes.

“Why’re you hanging out with geeks like those? I felt gross just being within arm’s length of them.”

I stop walking.

Is she actually insulting my friends to my face right now?

“… Really? What gives you the right to act like that?”

I can’t quite believe this girl. Even people like her should have limits to how oblivious they are.

“No, what gives them the right to treat you like that? Let’s be real for a second. What exactly is wrong with having a girlfriend? That geek with the glasses looked at you like you were some kind of criminal for talking to me.”

Oh, is that why you acted like that then? For my own good?

You could’ve had this conversation with me without belittling my friends as if they’re lost causes.

“It might seem strange from the outside, but that doesn’t give you the right to insult them that way, does it? I mean I could ask you the same question: What’s wrong with not having a boyfriend? Why go through all of this just to keep up appearances with Jennifer?”

“T-that’s different!”

“No, it isn’t. You have your circumstances and I have mine. It’s exactly the same thing.”

I’m kind of pissed off, but I can’t fault her for feeling like that. I felt the same when I saw the way she tried to keep those airs up for her friends. They don’t seem like the kind of people she should be associating with.

But if we’re both okay with our friend circles regardless of the appearances we need to keep up, then maybe neither of us is truly wrong. We’re just different people.

Perhaps I should just accept that some people live their lives that way, just as I’ve accepted my current life.

“Look, just… Please don’t look down on my friends that way again, and I’m being serious. It was insulting.”

“…”

She goes quiet for a moment to ponder my request.

“Fine. But can we start walking again? We’re already totally late…”

“A-ah, sorry.”

I quickly walk up to her so that we can continue on our way to the cafeteria.

“But all that aside, it really is different, isn’t it?”

“Yeah? How come?”

“I mean… Just think about it. You do want a girlfriend, don’t you?”

I scratch the back of my neck as we continue walking through the hall. We’re getting a few gazes, so I feel a bit uncomfortable answering a question like that so publicly.

“… I do.”

“See? It’s not the same at all. I also want a boyfriend, I just…”

Her voice trails off. It’s about her complex, I suppose.

“Okay okay I get it. It’s different. But that doesn’t mean I’m the kinda guy who would rush into a relationship with any cute girl I see. She has to be my type, y’know?”

“Uhuh? And just out of curiosity, what exactly is your type?”

“Well…”

I scratch my chin.

I haven’t exactly put any thought into what my ideal girl would be like. How exactly am I supposed to answer this kind of question?

“Uh… Probably… A girl who makes me feel alive?”

“How corny.”

What the hell?! Things like that always sound cool until they come out of my mouth! Why am I like this?!

“S-shut up! What about you then? What’s your ideal guy like?”

Scarlet looks up at the ceiling as she walks to ponder her answer.

“Mmmmm, let’s see… He’d have to be tall for sure. There’s no way I’d date someone who isn’t taller than I am.”

Ah…

“I guess he has to be athletic too, I mean, what girl doesn’t love guys with toned bods, right?”

Oh…

“Annnnd, he should totally be someone well off. Having to pay for things on our dates would be a real turn off. Nothing worse than a prince who won’t spoil his princess, y’know?”

…

I-I see…

“Well, what about his personality?”

“Personality? Who cares? Guys are just arm accessories.”

Yeah, I had completely forgotten for a moment. She’s basic as all hell.

“That’s the same way of thinking as Nick.”

“Nick? Who’s that?”

“My friend. The one you spoke to before we left.”

“Oh, the incel. I don’t think I’m anything like him.”

“No, you and Jennifer are exactly like him. You treat the opposite gender as something less than yourself. You guys might express it differently, but it’s exactly the same.”

“… If you talk with fancy words like that I’m not gonna know what to say.”

“Sorry, but it’s the truth.”

At my words, she suddenly goes quiet.

Uwahhh, is she sulking? Did I mess up already? God damn I am SO BAD with girls!

After a moment of silence, we stop just before the cafeteria doors. Scarlet decides to take this moment to speak up again.

“You know he’s only like that because girls don’t like him, right?”

“Urk…”

I tried to deny it with Sig but… Thinking about it more carefully, it’s probably true isn’t it?

“And anyway, if I’m not allowed to be rude to your friends, then at least do the same for Jennifer and Momoka. I don’t care about how they look to you, but they’re my close friends so don’t say anything funny around them.”

“… Okay, okay. I’m sorry.”

“Ugh, and one more thing. Why the hell did you go and embarrass yourself in Algebra 1 like that?! Jen’s gonna laugh at me for bringing in a loser like you.”

“… You are aware that it was a joke, right?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. No one’s gonna think a joke like that is funny. Haaaa… I wish I could talk to actual boys… Then I wouldn’t have to put myself through this mess.”

Alright, just how many condescending jabs does she plan on making? At the rate she’s going, I’ll be tempted to tell Jennifer some kind of embarrassing story just to get back at her.

But god knows how that would turn out for me in the long run. If there’s one thing I know about high school, it’s that you don’t want to make an enemy of the popular kids.

“Yeah yeah, come on we’re here already.”

At my words, she takes her eyes off of the ground and looks up at the door a few feet in front of us. Once we arrive before it, she takes a moment to put on her fake smile.

“Well, nothing we can do about it now. We’re here now so be on your best behavior, loser.”

I gulp nervously.

I’m going to be pretending to be Scarlet’s boyfriend. Scarlet Sterling’s boyfriend. Scarlet Sterling is going to be my girlfriend. Scarlet is my lover. Scarlet is…

Wait, what the hell am I thinking? It’s only pretend isn’t it?!

“You’ve got a dirty look on your face right now. What are you thinking of?”

“Just of how popular I’ll be when people start seeing me as Scarlet’s ex-boyfriend.”‘

“You’re really just going to ride my coat tails for a free trip to popularity huh? Kind of lazy isn’t it?”

Huh? Was that a joke or are you just that oblivious?

The caf is already crowded enough thanks to the amount of time it took for her to pick me up, so we’ll probably be in line for a while. Through the crowd, I find that Jennifer waving at us from one of the middle tables right next to Momoka.

“Ah, that’s them. Let’s hurry and get our lunches.”

I take a deep breath to prepare myself as I nod my head.

This can only go so well.