Your Love For Mine - 38 Drafted

“Chase… what the hell have you done to your reputation? Pffhahahahahaha!”

W-what… Just what is this…?

Why does she seem so… happy?

“I can’t believe you’ve already messed it up this badly! Oh my god, you’re such a loser!”

“Wha…”

“Hahahahahahahaha! That’s so rich!!”

“S-shut the hell up already! You don’t know how hard this has been on me!”

“Hahaha… It’s only been a week and everyone hates you! Ahhh, and I thought I was bad at this, look at you! You make Jim Parsons look like the Terminator or something! I guess being the center of attention is too much for a nerd like you to handle, huh?

What the hell, Scarlet!

Aren’t you upset that I dragged your reputation down?

Didn’t you act like you were completely done with me these past two days?

If that’s all true, then why does it feel like you’re watching your best friend trip and fall in mud?!

“Hahaha! Oh my gosh, I can’t breathe!”

I sigh.

“You’re way too happy about this…”

“Hahahaha… huh? Oh yeah, I guess.”

She wipes a tear from her eye. Apparently it was just that funny to her.

“I dunno…. I’ve been trying not to take things as seriously anymore, so I guess the whole thing just seemed funny to me.”

Great. Glad I could lighten up your mood.

“Besides, I don’t care all that much about being popular anymore.”

After uttering those words, Scarlet turns and slowly walks over to one of the benches.

“You don’t… care?”

“Yup. Don’t care.”

Really.

After all the things she put me through, she’s just gonna change her mind like that?

“…”

I feel so conflicted.

“Why though? Why wouldn’t you care anymore? Weren’t you obsessed with your popularity just two days ago? Didn’t you really want Jennifer to approve of me as your boyfriend last week?”

Once she arrives, she takes a seat and places her textbooks on her lap.

And afterwards, just like last week, she taps the bench as if to signal that I should take a seat next to her.

“…”

I follow in her steps and sit down at her side.

Just like before, it’s much too nerve-wracking for me to be this close to her.

It’s not like with Jen or Momo where there’s a concerting physical attraction for her body or anything. This girl just genuinely makes me nervous.

She clears her throat.

“The thing is, following you on Monday was kinda eye opening for me. After we ‘broke up’, I thought long and hard about everything I’ve done since I came to this school. Like, I’ve been thinking since that night and for most of yesterday. I thought and thought and thought, and after a while I decided that this would be best for me. Popularity really just isn’t for me.”

Huh….

“What made you think so hard about it? Is there something in particular that made you hate it?”

“Umm, the truth is I spoke to your friend Nicholas about a few things.”

“Nick?”

Strange, I didn’t think he’d open up to a girl at all.

“When we were following you around he kept talking about how I’m such a thot or whatever, and it got on my nerves so we got into a fight. Not with our hands or anything, we were just really upset with each other. After we spoke for a bit though, he came around and told me why he acts like that. He poured his heart out to me, Chase. He told me about all the bad feelings he’s got hidden inside of his heart and, honestly, it kinda changed the way I see a lot of things now.”

“Like, he’s still an idiot for thinking like that. Me being a girl shouldn’t make me the black plague or anything like that, but I never stopped to think about what could have made him like this at all, you know? In fact, I never stopped to consider his feelings at all. It made me think that like, sure some people can be huge weirdos and all, but that’s only because something they went through made them that way. It made me think that, judging people on who’s more popular or, whose tastes are “in” is a dumb scale to go off of. Someone being popular doesn’t just make them a good person. And someone not being liked doesn’t make them bad either. I mean in the first place, what is a good person or a bad person anyway? We all do a little bit of good and a little bit of bad in our lives, right? So who’s to judge how much good or how much bad makes us any of those things? Ourselves? God? If so, then why do we care so much about what other people think about us?”

Huh…

I guess she’s been thinking about this one for a while.

“I’m just confused, Chase. I don’t get why someone like Nicholas, who just wants to have fun with his friends is some big loser, when someone like Jen who walks all over other people’s feelings is an angel to everyone.”

“I dunno Scarlet. I get that Nick’s a good person. I mean, I’ve hung out with him every day since I came to this school so I know that better than anyone. But you can’t expect people to look past what you put on display for them all the time. He’s got a pretty bad attitude, you’ve got to admit. And Jennifer, well… you should know better than anyone that she’s pretty good at sweet talking to people.”

I know that all too well.

“So what, we should all just be fake like Jen?”

“Extremes are bad in any situation. You need to bring it down somewhere near the middle. Be truthful, like Nick, but ice your words and your attitude like Jen. You can’t expect people to like you just because you’re a nice person. That’s just entitlement.”

“Entitle… why do you guys always use such big words…? This isn’t a movie review.”

“I don’t know about Nick and Sig, but… I guess in my case, I just want to seem better than my background.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I feel like if I spoke more casually everyone would just make fun of me. Especially now that all the rumors are out.”

It’s kind of embarrassing to admit but, since she’s talking about her feelings I think the situation kind of calls for the truth on my end too.

Scarlet looks down at her feet for a moment as if contemplating something.

“… I used to talk that way too, you know.”

“Really? You?”

“What, did I say something funny?”

“N-no, it’s just uh, surprising, that’s all. What changed?”

Her grip on the textbooks tighten.

“Because… Jennifer didn’t like it.”

“This again…?”

“I know I know… And you were right, she really is a bad friend. I was stupid for going along with her for even a second. She’s just really good at that kind of stuff. Getting you to feel like you need her then taking advantage of you.”

“…”

“Chase, I owe you an apology.”

“Why’s that?”

She pauses for a second.

“The truth is… I think Jennifer is behind those rumors about you.”

“I know.”

I just, didn’t think that you did. I mean, I only came here to explain that to you in the first place.

“Why is that your fault, though? It’s not like you helped her out or anything, right?”

“I-I know that! But… it’s still true that if I’d never gotten wrapped up with you then none of this would’ve happened, right? I mean, everyone hates you, and I even heard that Sigmund and Nicholas stopped talking to you. I really just can’t help but…”

“Scarlet.”

“A-ah, I’m sorry…”

She’s taking this pretty badly, huh?

“I-I wanted to get you through this, but… I’m really bad at talking to guys so it’s not like I can just tell everyone that the rumors are fake… plus Jen owns most of the girls so I can’t talk to them either.”

Seems like she’s being blocked at all sides.

There’s her anxiety with men, and also Jennifer’s control.

She has a lot to deal with too. Even with her status, it wouldn’t be as easy as snapping her fingers and fixing everything.

“It’s okay. You don’t have to do anything. I understand.”

I couldn’t ask for more from her. It’s enough that she was willing enough to go out of her way to open up like this.

But Scarlet merely pouts.

“You can’t decide that for me.”

“What?”

“I said I wouldn’t get you through this, but that doesn’t mean I can’t at least help you.”

“Help me…?”

“Uh, duh. As far as I see it there’s only one thing left for you to do. You’re gonna take down Jen.”

Take down… Jennifer?

“…”

What the hell is this woman talking about?

“I don’t expect you to really forgive me for ruining everything, so I came up with a plan. A plan to take Jen down and clear your name at the same time.”

“Huh…”

No, I mean, I kind of already forgave you for it, but…

“Is that even possible…? I think it’s pretty obvious that everyone hates me, and if even someone like you can’t change their minds then it’s pretty much impossible for me to stop her.”

“Well, it’s not as impossible as you think. You’ve just gotta stop thinking about things normally.”

“Okay then. How do you propose I do it?”

“We’re gonna use the class president elections on Monday.”

“The elections…? Wait, you don’t mean…”

“Yup! You’re gonna run against Jen.”

Run… against her?

“If you beat someone as popular as Jen in the class elections then people will HAVE to respect you! They’ve got not choice!”

“Wait wait, back up. Beat Jennifer? Let’s get serious here. You and I both know how impossible that is.”

I mean, even if my reputation weren’t already in the gutter it’d still be impossible. How is someone like me even supposed to compete against her popularity..?

“Don’t be such a loser, Chase.”

My body tenses up.

Unlike before, I can tell that she’s calling me that from the heart.

“You’re scared of it, aren’t you? This whole popularity thing. Are you scared of everyone watching you? Or of being made fun of for how you live? I mean, it’s not that I blame you for it, most people are like that. Public speaking is the number one phobia in America. If you think about it that way, you’re pretty normal.”

I don’t respond.

“But that doesn’t mean that you should just let these rumors eat you up inside! Who cares if you live in that kind of neighborhood?! Chase is still Chase, no matter where he lives or who he lives with! You’re gentler, kinder, and more thoughtful than anyone I’ve met at this school! Why should you of all people have to apologize for being who you are? Isn’t that just messed up…?!”

…

Scarlet…

“I kinda get how it feels, you know. Better than you think. I’ve been hiding my Androphobia for the past fourteen years and it’s only gotten worse the older I’ve become. You can kinda hide it as a kid by acting like boys are gross and stuff, but after middle school it only becomes that much harder. And if a weakness like that gets out, it’s easy for people like Jen to ruin you. It’s depressing. I can’t exchange words with half of the population without my heart banging against my chest. That’s just too messed up of a problem for me to overcome…”

“…”

“But that’s also why I know you’ll be able to beat this. Unlike mine, your weakness isn’t something that can be taken advantage of so easily. Now that your secret’s out, you have nothing left to lose. You can play the game the way it’s supposed to be played.”

“The game…? I don’t…”

Want to play any games.

Not with Jennifer, or anyone else.

I just want to go through high school messing around with Nick and Sig.

“Sorry, Chase. Like it or not, you’re already caught up in Sunchester High’s circle of nonsense. The only way out is to make a comeback that’ll make Jen regret messing with you. You have to beat her at her own game.”

At her own… game.

“Do you think it’s possible? Do you really think I can beat her?”

“Hell no. A loser like you couldn’t beat Jen in a million years, even if you tried your butt off.”

Wow, way to get my hopes up, Scarlet.

“But… if I play both teams, I think we just might be able to trip her up while she isn’t looking.”

Seriously? She’d do that for me?

If I can get the details of her campaign and actively try to challenge her then it might just be possible…

But the question is, will it even work out?

I mean, even with all of those variables I feel like Jen might just still come out on top.

“That’s why I said you’re a chicken. The game hasn’t even begun and yet you’ve already accepted defeat. You’ve already acknowledged me as the untouchable, superior player.”

“And as a result your play suffers for it. You don’t want to lose after trying your heart out. Because it hurts to want something and lose it right before your eyes. It hurts to fail, doesn’t it? It feels like the whole world will laugh at you if you fail.”

Momo’s words…

“…”

Right. I already came to a decision yesterday, didn’t I?

I shake my head.

“Okay, I’ll take you up on that then.”

I’ve already vowed to distance myself from that cowardice. I decided to be the kind of guy that faces his problems head on. So if there’s even a chance in hell that I can fix this awful situation, you can bet some serious money that I’ll be taking it.

Like she just said, I have nothing left to lose anymore.

“Thanks Scarlet. Seriously, you’re a lifesaver.”

At my words, she flips her hair off to the side and looks away.

“Don’t misunderstand, loser. I’m not doing this for you or anything.”

“…”

“I just… kinda owe you one… Okay?”

I can’t find the words to respond.

That was too damn cute.