Your Love For Mine - 5 Desire

Outside of the Cafeteria’s front doors are many outdoor tables the school has set up for lunch. They’re mostly empty due to the intense heat, but there are a few tables we can snatch under the shadow of the school building now that it’s later into the lunch hour.

The two of us silently walk along as I scan the area for a place to sit down.

The entire time, I can feel Scarlet’s gaze intently focused on my back.

“Chase…”

“…”

“Why?”

I ignore her as we finally approach a decent table, then I put my tray down.

She sets her tray down to sit on the opposite side of the table from me. It seems as if she isn’t able to look at me directly.

“Why…? I told you not to say anything.”

Yep, I’m right on the money. She almost completely refuses to look at me for more than a full second. She’s keeps shifting her eyes back down at her food with a pained expression.

“… Are you saying I was supposed to just sit there and listen to that?”

I clench my fists.

“You ignored my rules, Chase.”

“Rules? That was bullshit and you know it. Had I known things would’ve gotten that bad then I’d never have agreed to help you.”

“…”

I rest my cheek in the palm of my propped up hand.

“Scarlet, don’t think I don’t understand what you’re trying to do, but you won’t reach that goal by blindly going along with whatever Jennifer wants.”

“Haha, what are you even saying, Chase? Are you telling me to make her my enemy like you did?”

“No, I’m saying to stand up for yourself. You won’t stay popular by just going along with whatever she says and does. If that’s all you have to offer, then what happens when she starts disliking you for some reason and you end up splitting?”

“She’s not like that! Don’t talk as if you know her!”

For the first time, her eyes focused not on the tray of food before her, but on me.

“She promised me that we’d be BFFs! She wouldn’t do something as petty suddenly disliking me!”

“… Then you’re okay with being BFFs with someone who would say those kinds of things to you?”

“That’s… fine.”

“Just, what part of having to deal with that is fine?”

“You wouldn’t understand. All that matters is that this is between me and her.”

I sigh.

This isn’t going anywhere. She’s convinced herself that this is a necessary part of her popularity. She’s already been completely taken in and we’re only two weeks in. I’m not sure if I should applaud Jennifer or feel plain disappointed in Scarlet.

She twiddles her thumbs, not bothering to take another bite of her lunch.

“It was all going so well until you did that, Chase.”

“…”

“We aren’t even really dating, so why did you have to step in like that?”

“Whether we’re dating or not doesn’t matter. Seeing someone you know get teased like that is painful. Especially since it was partly because you chose me as your fake boyfriend.”

“Partly, huh?”

“Geh…”

I reel back out of guilt.

I know it was more than just partly. If she chose a more popular guy then she wouldn’t have had to sit through those terrible jokes. But that’s exactly why I felt bad not doing anything.

How could I be okay with it? I wasn’t the one being ridiculed but the guilt pained me almost as much as the insults probably pained her.

“I’m sorry.”

I can’t think of any better words to offer. At the end of the day, I messed up. Apologizing is the least I can do for her.

“No, it’s fine. I know it’s unfair to blame you for that. You did your part well and she was okay with you.”

She looks off somewhere distant.

“… She just decided that she needed to tease me for some reason.”

“If I weren’t part of Nick’s circle she wouldn’t have felt the need to say those things, though. I don’t think Momoka was too keen on me either.”

“Mmm, maybe so. But if you were a bit more popular then I wouldn’t have been brave enough to talk to you either.”

She smiles bitterly while down.

“I… guess so…”

I take the break in the conversation as an opportunity to take a bite of my lunch before continuing.

“A-anyway, you don’t have to worry about that ruining everything. You could use my tantrum as an excuse to tell Jennifer that we broke up and everything should go back to normal.”

She shoots me a distrusting glare.

“W-what? Wouldn’t that work out fine for both of us?”

“I noticed it while we were heading to the cafeteria but… You’re kind of smart aren’t you?”

She glares at me with squinted eyes.

“Umm… Scarlet?”

But after a while, she just sighs.

“So you freaking out like that wasn’t as careless as it looked, huh?”

“Haha, if it were careless I would’ve lost it way earlier than that.”

She seems to ponder my words for a moment.

“Okay, I’ve made up my mind.”

“Hmm? About what?”

“I’ll… ah.”

Her gaze shifts and focuses on something behind me.

I turn to follow it and find that back where we came from, a familiar figure is walking along the shadow of the school building. And that sole figure, shamelessly carrying itself with pride despite what had just occurred moments ago, belongs to…

“…”

“What the hell does she want now?”

I turn my body back to face Scarlet.

She looks like she’s seen a ghost.

Come on, don’t be like that. You’re not in the wrong here.

I continue eating my food as if nothing’s going on.

But the entire time Jennifer approaches us, the fear in Scarlet’s eyes as she looked on at Jennifer almost made me feel sorry for her.

And once she finally arrives, it’s Scarlet who offers up the first words.

“J-Jen? Um, hey. What’s up?”

Jennifer seems to size me up for a while, then turns to face Scarlet.

“We need to talk.”

Scarlet freezes up as if completely lost about what she should do next, then glances back at me.

What, does she want me to answer for her?

I offer her a shrug.

“Umm, okay… Sure.”

“Okay. Let’s head back inside.”

Jennifer turns to head back to the cafeteria, but she notices almost immediately something’s off.

Scarlet isn’t following her.

“No, whatever you have to say can be said in front of the both of us.”

…

Uu..

Uuaaahhhh!

Oh my god, is this what having a girlfriend feels like?

Shut up, I’m not blushing you’re blushing.

Jennifer puts her palm to her face and sighs before flicking her bangs back. It seems she’s resigned herself to the situation she’s in.

“Listen Scarlet, I… may have gone a bit overboard with my teasing.”

Hah, may?

“I-it’s just…”

She fidgets for a moment as if she’s trying to find the right words to say. It’s obvious that she isn’t used to lowering her head to others like this. The trait of a bratty kid, I guess.

“I’m sorry, okay? It’s just that you never really say anything about those kinds of jokes before so I’ve been getting carried away recently…”

“I know I can be a bit of a jerk, but I only recently realized how strong words can be if you don’t pick them carefully. Like, I only wanted to tease you a little but I still have a bad habit of going overboard and it’s kind of hard for me to hold myself back.”

“I promise you that I didn’t mean any harm, I just… messed up.”

“…”

Scarlet is frozen for a moment, as if she can’t believe what she’s just heard.

“Really? You promise…?”

“Of course I do, silly. We’re BFFs aren’t we?”

Scarlet stands up for a moment, still looking visibly shaken.

“O-oh, Jenny…”

She wraps her arms around Jennifer and pulls her into a loving embrace.

“I’m sorry for treating you like that, I wish I could have seen how I was acting without all of this.”

“No, it’s okay. I knew you didn’t really mean any of it.”

She pulls herself away from Scarlet.

“That’s not okay! You have to tell me when I’m going overboard. I won’t get mad at you for speaking out.”

“Mm, you’re right. I guess I was at fault too.”

The two of them stare at each other for a moment before sharing a giggle.

Jennifer turns toward me.

“Thanks for standing up for her Chase, I probably wouldn’t have noticed how far I went if you hadn’t done what you did back there. I’ve got to admit I underestimated you. You’re a good guy for her.”

I smile nervously and look away.

“N-no, not at all.”

“Oh please, no need to be all humble.”

She turns back to Scarlet.

“Do you guys want to come back to our table? We’ve still got a few minutes to kill before lunch break’s over.”

“Well…”

Scarlet turns back toward me and awaits my answer.

“No, you guys head over without me. I’ll stay here alone.”

“Okay, I suppose.”

Seeming a tad confused about my choice, she picks up her tray then walks off. She seems to have regained a bit of the vigor she’d lost after the whole cafeteria incident.

“Bye Chase! Thanks for standing up for Scarlet!”

I wave at the two of them as they walk off.

That’s a relief, things ended up working out after all. It ended on a much more peaceful note than I’d expected too.

I think I may have had a misguided impression of Jennifer.

She might be a drama queen and a bit of a bully, but she’s at least mature enough to recognize her own wrongdoings. That’s definitely worth something, right?

There just might be a good person under that man-hating guise she puts up all the time.

But, as I was beginning to arrive at that conclusion, I just barely caught a glance of her staring back at me as she walked away with Scarlet.

It could only be described as a gaze of pure malice.

The sheer openness of her hostility had caught me completely off guard.

Never had I experienced a look of that much hatred in my life.

I must have barely caught it.

It must have lasted a single second.

But the moment she laid eyes on me, I was frozen in time for what felt like an eternity with nothing but my fear to accompany me.

I don’t think I will ever forget this feeling for the rest of my life.

And for the rest of the lunch period, I found myself repeating one simple question.

“Just what on earth have I done?”