Your Love For Mine - 59 Epilogue
Maybe I can get used to this after all.
In stark contrast to my initial impression of high school, I find myself feeling surprisingly confident about the next few years.
Sure, high school feels like an intimidating experience at first.
Getting tossed into an unfamiliar place while dealing with the new, surreal experiences that come with puberty isn’t something a lot of kids can deal with.
It’s kind of a sink-or-swim social environment.
With all the sudden changes going through a teenager’s body at that age, it’s almost certainly going to be uncomfortable.
We all have the desire to become our own person.
To acquire social status.
To make romantic advances toward the person we’re interested in.
But really, because of how new and challenging all these things are, only the strong-willed and the confident can stand tall in that kind of environment.
For everyone else, it’s a battle against yourself.
Against your pride, your anxiety.
And even against your own hormones.
“Your pot roast really is the best, Chase. Gotta admit, this is one of the main reasons I keep coming over to your place.”
“Thanks. I’m glad everyone seems to enjoy it so much.”
Rachael, the woman sitting at the dining table munching down on the dinner I prepared, is proof of that.
She’s been something like a mentor for me these past few years ever since I was thrown into this predicament of a living situation. In fact, you could call her the only adult who’s truly cared for me ever since then.
At my age, it’s hard to not look up to someone like her as a role model or a hero.
Having her around to help me deal with the sudden weight of my responsibilities has been comforting in ways that I can’t even begin to explain.
But as I started experiencing the changes of puberty, her attractive figure made that seemingly innocent relationship into something else.
Yeah, I did have a crush on her.
I couldn’t admit it to myself let alone Chloe or Scarlet, but I really did like her a lot.
In fact, I’ve probably fantasized about her during our usual conversations more times than I could ever care to admit out loud.
It’s the same kind of depraved mindset that the boys in my class probably had whenever they saw Jennifer Swift.
That insatiable teenage lust that bubbled beneath our still-childish exteriors.
Was I really in the place to judge them for looking at her that way? Even I couldn’t help but ogle Jennifer whenever she came into view.
But now, all of that is over.
I don’t care about Jennifer or Rachael anymore.
Not like that, anyway.
Chase Masters is now a man with a girlfriend.
My eyes are only meant to ogle one person.
Wait, uh… that came out wrong.
My eyes are only meant for one person.
It’s the girl I love, Scarlet Sterling.
The fears I once had coming into high school are now all gone.
Because now, I have a place I can call home.
Once I finished washing the dishes, I slumped into one of the chairs at the dining table right next to Rachael with a cup of water in hand.
The scent of the pot roast is drowning out the usual smell of rotting wood that normally pervades the living room.
Really, I never remember how much of a dump this place truly is until she comes over to visit.
The dining room, the kitchen and the living room are all cramped into this tiny 10 square-meter room.
“…”
It’s been two weeks since the elections.
Rachael decided that since both of us had today off from work, she’d stop by early for a bite.
Well, that was her excuse anyway.
“Hey Chase, why don’t you open that package?”
“Package?”
Sure enough, there’s a small rectangular box just sitting on the table.
“What is it?”
“Don’t be so cautious. You have my permission.”
“…”
Well, when you put it like that…
There’s no reason not to, right?
I plow through the packaging and open the box.
“…”
“Wait, what is this?”
“It’s yours.”
“Mine, but it’s…”
A cell phone.
An expensive-looking one too.
“Why?”
This is way too much for me.
You shouldn’t have…
“Eh, I got in on sale. You deserve it for the work you put in during the elections.”
“No way Rach’, I can’t accept this.”
Even if it was on sale, I can’t even begin to imagine how expensive this must have been.
“Don’t worry. More importantly, you’re going out with Scarlet now, right? You’ll need it to keep in contact with her.”
“…”
I can’t deny that.
She did seem a bit disappointed that we couldn’t exchange text messages.
“I don’t know how to thank you. Really…”
“Dummy, I don’t need your thanks. I’m only doing this because I care.”
“It’s just that… I don’t think I deserve it. You’re giving this to me for doing well in the elections, right? Well if you think about it, Nick and I were kind of the bad guys back there. We resorted to things like violence and sexualizing Jennifer…”
Why would you reward us for such a cheap victory? If anything I deserve to be scolded for it.
“True, that was pretty dirty of you two. But let me ask you this: do you think you would have won if you did things normally?”
“… No. We couldn’t win normally the moment those rumors got out of hand.”
“Mhm, you’re right. You couldn’t. She came at your throat with those rumors and you had to respond in kind. And that, my dear Chase, is the essence of politics. If both candidates play fair, then it’s fine. You two can enjoy an honest race to see who can win the most votes. However, the moment your opponent plays dirty, you really have no choice but to resort to more underhanded tactics to catch up in the race.”
“…”
She’s right.
If we were to do things fairly, it’d probably take weeks to restore my reputation to the point where I could confidently match her fairly. And even then, I don’t know if I’d get even a third of the votes that she would.
And all it would take to destroy those weeks of effort is one more rumor.
It’s unfair.
Politics really is just bunch of horse shit.
“You were both wrong, and I wouldn’t let either of you off by saying you aren’t. But you did what had to be done for the sake of what you believe in. And most of all, you condemned his actions in front of everyone else for the sake of being a positive role model. As a public figure, one of the hardest things you can do is to swallow your pride and denounce an action that you believed in. I’m proud of you for it, truly.”
Saying those words, she stretches her arm out to gently strokes my hair.
If I was the same person from two weeks ago, this simple act would make me feel some other, more depraved emotion.
But now, all I feel is the pride of being praised by the woman I look up to, and the joy of being accepted by her as I am.
Though, for the first time, I can’t help but doubt her words deep down.
Rachael is still just another human being.
And just as my feelings for her were beginning to fade away, so was my unfounded confidence that she was always right.
Maybe, maybe I shouldn’t be this proud about our victory.
There’s usually some kind of downside when you win like this, right?
Like, I might have made an enemy of some feminists in our school.
“…”
No, that’s too scary to think about. I’ll pass.
“So, what happened after? How are things with your girlfriend?”
“Uh… yeah, about that. How did you know she, uh…”
“Felt that way about you?”
“Yeah. I’ve known her way longer than you have, but you could figure something like that out after only one glance…”
She giggles.
“Well, that’s because she told me silly.”
“W-what? When?!”
“When she came into work looking for you. That was when I heard about how she’d been following you from the train through the city. Your friends were there too.”
So that’s how they knew…
They made it seem like they were such geniuses for figuring it out before I did!
Rachael grins as she takes another bite from her food.
“Well, to begin with, judging by your story I think she probably liked you way before then though.”
“Huh? She did?”
“Yep yep. Hmm, I’d say… Even before you and her decided to pretend-date.”
Wait, huh?
“No, but… She said she hated me back then. She only did that because she was miserable and hated how happy I looked.”
“So she hated how happy you looked because it made her feel more lonely and miserable with herself, right?”
“Yeah, I think.”
“Then what makes you think that she didn’t start talking to you so that you could share some of that happiness with her?”
“Uh, the part where she kept calling me names all the time.”
“Haaa… Chase, listen. I’m not saying she lied to you. It’s just… she probably felt lonely.”
Lonely, huh?
“Of course she’d see you three having fun all the time and want to join in. It doesn’t matter that Jennifer made her think that you guys were uncool. It wouldn’t be surprising if she wanted to be a part of all the unfiltered fun you three were having. She probably just didn’t want to admit it to herself. In fact, the real reason she brought you to Jennifer was probably so that you could save her.”
“…”
Is that true?
Did she really do that?
“The human mind is amazing. You can convince yourself that you want something for one reason, but there could always be some underlying motive that you yourself aren’t even aware of. It’s difficult to truly understand who you are as a person at that age.”
She’s right.
I hadn’t even realized that I wanted Scarlet to think I was cool until she told us those things in the nurse’s office.
But eventually, I realized that it was the reason I kept saving her.
I didn’t want to be a loser in her eyes.
I wanted to be someone she could praise.
“… You were really cool today, Chase.”
That was all I wanted to hear.
The election day will probably be one of the happiest moments of my life.
She finally complimented me…
Ehehe…
“…”
Rachael swallows another bite of her meal and turns back to face me.
“So? How are things?”
“Huh?”
“Your relationship with her, dummy. I wanna know how it’s going.”
“Oh. Uhh. It’s good, I guess.”
“You guess? That’s all? Sounds like you aren’t having too much fun. Guess she isn’t putting out yet huh?”
“Of course she isn’t!”
It’s our first relationship! You think we’re gonna go at it like rabbits the moment we start dating?!
“Haaa, really… It’s only been two weeks so we haven’t done as much as you’d think. Her mom has been picking Chloe, Chad and me up for school ever since we started dating, but other than that Nick and Sig are usually around…”
“Hmmm.”
I feel like I’m forgetting something though…
“Ah, right. The two of us did watch that Lion King movie last Friday on the projector Jennifer set up. Scarlet said she wants me to watch more movies with her so we kinda gave ourselves permission to use the classroom on Fridays.”
“Haven’t done as much as I’d think, huh? Well, I think that’s plenty for a new couple!”
“Y-yeah, I guess so.”
Yesterday was the first time we did that movie thing, though. To be honest, I was more than a little nervous, but I ended up enjoying myself in the end.
What a good afternoon that was. There’s nothing quite like spending time alone with the person you love.
“She really is a sweet thing, isn’t she? Well, it isn’t just her. Your friends… The ‘Fated Ones’, I think? I’m glad that you all found each other.”
“You’re glad?”
“Yeah. High School can be quite the experience. It’s not weird to get peer pressured into cringing at your old hobbies and picking up new ones just to fit in. New music, new movies, new television shows, new games, sports, hangout spots… the list goes on and on. If your tastes aren’t already mainstream then it kinda feels like your choices are either to fit in among the crowd or get isolated, right?”
I’d be lying if I said that wasn’t the case. The amount of nerd bashing that’s happened to me since I started hanging out with those two lines up with that way of thinking.
“But having a group of friends that you can be yourself around and share those things with, it makes high school a much better place for people who don’t fit in with the popular crowd.”
Nick and Sig are lucky to have one another. Don’t think I’ve ever seen two people that complement each other quite like that.
They’re not as bad as everyone says. I finished that game Nick lent me before he got suspended and I have to say, it’s easy to see how people could get absorbed in games like those. It’s so simple, but it’s amazing all the same.
“The ‘Fated Ones’ really is a good thing, isn’t it? Hard to believe that I was lucky enough to find them.”
“It’s not like you were the only lucky one.”
“Haha, guess not.”
I sip on my drink.
“Jennifer ended up joining the SF club, by the way.”
“Huh… and your friend Nicholas let it happen?”
“Well, he was suspended for a week so it’s not like he could do anything about it. The decision was ultimately Chris’s anyway.”
“Really… so how’s she fairing?”
“Ahaha…”
Rachael didn’t tell a joke, but I find myself laughing nervously while scratching my cheek.
“She managed to make up with Scarlet, but it looked surprisingly difficult for her. Her pride might have taken some serious damage there.”
“I’m surprised you were okay with it after all the things she did to her.”
“I’m still unsure of how I feel about it too, but… Scarlet still really likes her so I’ll keep my head out of it for now.”
“Hmmm.”
“She ended up leaving the room about an hour into her first day though. She got upset when Nick and Sig started arguing about whether Peach or Daisy give better head.”
“Pfft! Oh my god, that’s a riot. Miss feminist must have really enjoyed that one.”
“Yeah. She loved it so much that she couldn’t help but call them both incels for a minute straight. I’m not sure what she was expecting, though. Did she think she’d fit in with them or something? They’re pretty much everything she hates.”
“Well, I wouldn’t let my guard down if I were you four. She’s definitely up to something.”
“Yeah, we know. But it’s not like we can’t stop her, right?”
Somehow, the four of us managed to tie with her in the elections.
Through our combined efforts, we barely managed to keep up with Jennifer Swift.
This just makes me realize how much of a monster that girl really is.
But I think that if we put our heads together, we can stop her again if we need to.
“I think it’s a good thing that she’s doing, though. It’s not easy to be an activist.”
“Really? Could’ve fooled me.”
“Haha, I’m serious, Chase. The moment you throw your views out in the open like she is, you’re placing a big target on your back. Look at what happened to her when she told you why she was running for the seat. You felt like you couldn’t let her win, right? Everything you loved was at stake, no?”
“…”
“I’m not sure how much she’d be willing to listen to you, but if you could help her pursue her goals in a more positive way, then maybe you’d be able to make the school into a better place. For all genders.”
“Is that even possible…? That girl’s crazy.”
“Well she certainly sounds like it, but you never know until you try, right?”
“Guess not.”
Once she’s finished with her meal, she wipes her mouth with a paper towel.
“Ahh, that hit the spot!”
Rachael stretches her arms out with a satisfied moan.
Once again, the old me would have probably been taken in by such a sight.
But now, as a guy with a girlfriend…
Ehehehe…
If Nick and Sig knew how happy I was about this they’d probably tell me to drop dead.
“I’m disappointed in you, Chase-dono…”
“A guy like you with a girlfriend… tch.”
Haaa, those two…
Oh, speaking of girlfriends.
“Hey Rachael, I forgot to mention. It’s about Chloe and the boy she was interested in.”
“Right! I was wondering what happened with them. Did she strike out?”
“Haha, you’d think so, right? Nope, the two of them actually started dating yesterday.”
“What, seriously? How’d she pull that off? Even I didn’t start dating ’til high school.”
“Guess Scarlet’s advice came in handy. Honestly I have no idea either.”
“Scarlet’s advice, huh? I guess that’s why she’s the one who got to you first.”
“Huh? First?”
Rachael pauses, then shoots me a confused glare.
What? Did I say something wrong?
“Wait. You didn’t notice? The other girl who was into you?”
“Other… huh?”
“… You really didn’t notice, huh? Ah geez. You might have really messed up on this one.”
“Messed up? Noticed? Rachael, what on earth are you talking about?!”
“No way. You’re on your own on this one buddy. I’m heading home now. Say hi to Scarlet for me, though.”
I thought she was joking when she suddenly bid me farewell, but she really is heading outside right now.
Is this some kind of prank? What girl is she talking about?!
“Rachaeeeeel!!!! What did you meaaan?!”