Yumemiru Danshi wa Genjitsushugisha (LN) - Volume 1

Our uniforms finally switched to our summer versions, and it felt like the amount of hot sunlight had gone up as well. Although I started to leave the house a bit later since I didn’t have to chase after Natsukawa again, now that the sun had risen like this, it was quite hot. Then again, getting up early is not exactly in my best interest either. I really don’t need any summer after all.

“…Shit.”

Arriving at a later time period, students were filling the area near the school gate. But, because of the heat sizzling down onto them, they looked more like zombies than anything. I’m sure that my expression must be about similar right now. I wouldn’t be too surprised if a sniper was aiming for my head right now.

“Oh…Ah~ha.”

Entering the school next to the shoe lockers, I was hit with a comfortable breeze. What is this refreshing feeling? I subconsciously took a deep breath like that. The zombies around me had turned into humans again as well. Hey, you two lovebirds over there! Just because it’s more cool in here doesn’t mean you can start flirting.

By the time I made it to the classroom, I already forgot about the whole summer thing. Instead, the air around me felt comfortable, and I don’t think I ever had such a pleasant Monday for quite some time. This might be the first time I got to spend a summer day this relaxing at school.

This refreshing atmosphere grew even stronger when I entered the classroom. Ahh, so comfortable…Today, I might actually feel motivated to study. What was the first period again? Modern Japanese? Alright, time to take a nap.

All the sweat that had built up on my body on the way to school was gone, like a squirrel that woke up after its hibernation. Wiping it away once had it disappear forever. Have a good sleep, my sweat glands.

Shortly after making it inside, the chime rang, informing us that morning homeroom was about to begin. Did I make it that close…?

“Ah! Morning, Sajocchi!”

“……Oh…”

“Huh?”

When Ashida approached me, I was showered with admiration. She wore the girls’ summer uniform. The thick fabric and variation of colors had been replaced by white equipment just as the boys were wearing…Ahh, this is heaven…Even Ashida looks so dazzling to me…This is weird, Big Sis didn’t give off that feeling at all.

“Morning. This is actually pretty bad for my heart, so could you not appear in front of me so lightly-clothed?”

“Can you not call the girls’ uniform ‘lightly-clothed’, you pervert?”

I mean, your DEF value went down from 95 to like…20. Compared to that, your ATK damage towards boys went up like 70-fold. Look at that, all the other boys can only look outside the window, or they’d get chastised.

“B-But…I understand what you’re trying to say…It looks good on me, right?”

“Ah!? Where’s Natsukawa!? I need to see her summer uniform!”

“Ah, you bastard!”

Hey, don’t kick my shin! It was my fault okay, just stop it! That hurts! So, where’s Natsukawa? Looking behind Ashida, I could see Natsukawa talking with a few other girls. Is this a flock of fairies? Did I always get this much stimulation from a uniform change? Man, now I might just look forward to summer.

You damn bastards, you’re covering my view on Natsukawa. Get out of the way, and flirt with someone else.

“Why’d you need to get that desperate? You can see it for yourself later~”

“I would feel bad for separating Natsukawa-sama from the other ladies she’s talking to.”

“Mind explaining how I’m different from the other girls?”

“If I approach her any further, I won’t be able to watch the entire panorama.”

“Listen to me. Also, panorama…”

It’s definitely not like I’m scared of Natsukawa giving me a gaze like ‘Don’t get any closer to me or you’ll get hurt’, or anything like that. I’m not lying, I only wish to observe her beauty from afar. Oh right, talking about that.

“Ashida, you went to Natsukawa’s palace, right?”

“Ah…Hehe…!”

“Hmm?”

This time, Ashida’s expression turned into a grin, and I could tell she’d become noisy any second. Even her face just said ‘Wanna hear? Wanna hear?’, and she started doing something on her phone…Eh, you took pictures? Wait a second. Only Airi-chan? Show it to me, I’m a good boi, I deserve it.

“Wanna seeeee?”

“Shut up…!”

Who cares! Just take this secret picture I took of Big Sis as she was sleeping in the living room…! Why did I even take that picture? Aren’t I a bit too suicidal? If she finds out, I’m dead for sure. And, 4K even…K4…I might be able to get some good money if I sold this to the student council Senpais.

“Big Sis…I’m sorry.”

“I don’t really get it, but can’t you just delete it?”

“I’m going to use that whenever I have to lie about having a girlfriend.”

“The hell is wrong with you…”

Nobody can break my 5-layer lock. Eh? Why am I doing this far for a picture of my Big Sis? That’s not all, Barou1, huehuehue.

“Good morning. It sure is fresh today.”

“Good morning~”

In the end, the homeroom started without me talking to Natsukawa. I don’t know why, but Ashida seemed to be angry at me, as she constantly kicked the back of my chair. But, I ignored her, as I am a diligent student. Teacheeeer, there’s bullying going on in this school!

*

Isn’t summer a bit too comfortable? Around the third period, I realized. It’s not like I was making big progress in Math A, but it really didn’t feel like summer at all. Maybe this is because of this being a high-level school, their care for the students is incomparable. Summer is the best, thank you very much, Natsukawa. Cheers to Natsukawa…Huh? Why am I thinking about that?

“Alright, that’ll be all for today.”

The teacher who moved here from Kansai let out a listless voice, and finished the class. That’s great. I didn’t pay any attention in class, but this is fine. As long as the boredom is gone, time passes more quickly. That’s why I like Math A (*But I’m bad at it).

“H-Hey, Sajocchi…!”

“Hm? What’s wrong?”

After the class ended, I was busy preparing for the next one, when Ashida frantically tapped me on the shoulder. What is she panicking for?

“What happened to you!? You haven’t talked once with Aichi yet, have you!?”

“Um…Well, we’re at this distance right now, so…”

One is in the corner of the classroom, the other is in the middle, but in the back. I feel like the day might just pass without us talking a single word. But, that won’t happen right? After all, my eyes already burned the sight of Natsukawa with her summer uniform in her eyes for about 67 times.

Not to mention that, from how I judge things, Natsukawa is often talking with someone else. Even right now, she’s occupied with Sasaki—Sasaki, don’t you dare touch Natsukawa with a finger of yours. I’ll make holes all over your body with the soccer club’s ball.

At the same time, Natsukawa showed a normal smile after being talked to. So cute. That’s an expression she definitely wouldn’t show towards me. I’m special towards her in the bad sense, so just talking to her like that might be difficult.

“…Yep, it’s normal, right.”

Eventually, more and more people will fill Natsukawa’s surroundings, and the annoyance that I delivered all these years will be gone. Then, with Shirai-san and Yamazaki as the leaders, I might be able to get myself a position in that group somewhere on the far rear. However, now is not the time just yet.

“I’d feel bad to be a bother, so I’m good.”

“Bother…A bother, you say?” Ashida blinked at me in confusion.

I can feel a disturbing atmosphere fill the place. However, if I were to approach Natsukawa like this, I might destroy the comfortable mood they built up. As long as my image of being her little finger doesn’t disappear in this school year, I feel like any needless approach would just hurt her.

“That’s not true…I think.” Ashida muttered, and made her way towards Natsukawa.

…That is true, Ashida. Just look at them. It’s not just about me and Natsukawa. You need to consider what everyone else is thinking. At the very least, for right now, I shouldn’t join in, because that’ll play in Natsukawa’s favor, right?

*

“I wanna eat Häagen…”

“That abbreviation sure sounds cool…”

In rough times, even cheap things can cheer you up, right? Is cheap ice cream not enough for you? Why do you always have to go two ranks higher than normal…The karma of Häagen is deep. Despite that, watermelon bars give you this nostalgic taste, and fill you with warmth instead. Though, I haven’t eaten some in years.

Ashida was leaning on the desk, and despite us being in class, she constantly kicked my ass while complaining how hot it was. Now my own ass has gone hot. Also, at least use your hands so I can feel some kind of pleasure in this…Well, she’d probably lose her normie status at that…Teacher, there’s still bullying going on in this school…Sniff sniff.

After that, when I came with Ashida to buy some ice, I slipped some ice packs down her back, to which she landed a magnificent spike of that pack right into my face. That’s the power of a volleyball club member for you. Now it melted on the floor.

Before the next period started, I was busy doing some stuff on my phone, when a shadow fell on my hands. I just faintly directed my attention to my side, and immediately understood who I was dealing with.

“——Hey.”

Ohh, Goddess. Have you descended again. This is the first time you got this close to me in your new summer uniform. Damn it, I really want to turn over and stare at her. But, she’ll crush my eyes if I do! (*No she won’t).

“Hey, listen to me!”

“No, she wo—Eh, me?”

“…Y-Yes, you.”

I realized that she put her hands on my desk. Since this is Natsukawa we’re talking about, I figured she was actually talking with Ashida behind me. Leaving aside that misunderstanding, Natsukawa actually had her body turned towards me. This…is quite the stimulation…!

“Y-Yeah…? What do you want?”

“Sajocchi, you’re acting really suspicious.”

“Natsukawa, what do you want? My body won’t hold out like this.”

“I’m not a pesticide.”

“And I’m not an insect…”

I was expecting some light-hearted retort, not a full blown slash of a sharp knife. Never change, Natsukawa. How can you treat people as insects this easily? You must be joking about this right…You’re not? Okay, then I’m just going to stare at you then.

“…560 points.”

“Then you get 49.”

“Um…can’t I get at least one point…?”

She’s really grinding me to death here…Then again, life is always about barely scraping by. Even if she suddenly stepped on the brakes, I’d still fall down the cliff in the end. Also, why are you snickering like that, you’re so damn cute…600 points.

“Well, whatever. What did you want, Natsukawa?”

“Huh…!?”

“…?”

My Goddess’ smile vanished immediately. She suddenly looked flustered, almost panicking. Um…? Did she miss her timing or something? If I stayed silent, maybe she would have kept laughing instead.

“Um, Natsukawa?”

“Um…Well…Y-You know…”

“Yup.”

She seemed restless. I was watching her like that, which made me feel even more like a suspicious person. Just what…Ah!? Isn’t Natsukawa blushing!? What’s this!? What’s going on!?

“So…after this…my place…Um…”

“……”

“Uuuu…”

“…???”

Now I’m completely lost. I found myself tilting my head in confusion. No, think about this, me. Natsukawa is trying to tell me something. If it’s me, I should be able to figure it out, I’ve known Natsukawa for years…! There’s nothing I don’t know about her…I will figure out this truth!

“—G-Gross.”

“Gah…!”

“Aichi!?”

“Ah, no…!”

“Sajocchi!? Breathe! Don’t you die on me!”

I could feel my consciousness drifting away. It was a short life, huh…If there was one regret I have, then it’s the PC in my room. Maybe it could explode with my own body. Then I could go on a one-time trip down to hell. Eh, heaven? Can I really go there, God!?

“H-Hold on, Aichi…! Sajocchi is somewhat of a human being, you know!?”

“Somewhat!? Somewhat!?”

Hearing a word I could not ignore, I came back to life. What is she? A genius who can save people about to die? And why do you look so proud, you’re only hurting me more! Put away that shit-faced grin.

“Natsukawa, forgive me…I won’t bother you anymore…”

“W-Who said you were a bother…”

Eh, am I wrong? I thought she came towards me and get revenge for everything I’ve done so far…Eh? Was that ‘Gross’ just now meant as a reward? Then, I might just lose all my will to live. I can’t take that…

“W-Well…”

“……”

The best I can do here is bear with it, and wait for Natsukawa’s words, I guess. I’m used to not listening to her words after all. As I made up my mind, Natsukawa silently took one step, and then another backwards.

“…Do I just have to die then?”

“What are you saying!? Hey, Aichi!?”

“Wah, eh!? Wait, Kei…!?”

Ashida suddenly stood up, grabbing both of Natsukawa’s shoulders, and pulled her out to the hallway. I could hear Ashida say something in a loud voice, Natsukawa trying to argue back, but I couldn’t make out exactly what they said. Just what is going on here?

“What happened over here?”

“…Eh, Sasaki…? It’s Sasaki!”

“Why do you make it sound like we haven’t met for years…”

Not even limited to Sasaki, since I’ve been trying to keep it more docile as of late, I didn’t really fool around with the boys anymore. Especially Yamazaki, I feel like I’ve gotten more clever since I stopped hanging around with him. His negative influence is no joke…

“You must be busy with soccer practice as of late, right? How are you and Yamazaki doing?”

“Don’t lump me in together with that guy. I don’t like that.”

“Yamazaki-kyun…”

I feel bad for that guy. To think Sasaki, someone he was fairly close with, would say such a thing about him. How pitiful…Or so I thought, but be it Big Sis, Natsukawa, or even Ashida, they aren’t treating me much better. Sometimes I wonder if I’m even worth anything as a human…I am a primate. Return to monke.

“Sajou.”

“Hm…?”

“Airi-chan was really cute, you know.”

“What…did you say…?

…Ah, Natsukawa’s little sister. I was wondering who he was talking about for a second. Figured he might have been bragging about some girlfriend of his. Also, does he really not have one? He’s in the soccer club, and fairly handsome. It’s kind of a waste, even from my point of view.

As I was overreacting, my smartphone vibrated, telling me of a new message. Who is it now…Wait, Sasaki? He sent me a selfie with him and Natsukawa’s little sister. Ohh, she’s pretty close with him. That’s what you’d expect from someone who’s an actual older brother. Not to mention that Airi-chan is really cute. I’m sure she’ll grow up to become a beauty like Natsukawa herself.

I see, so that’s what this is about…

“I’ll tell Yuki-chan about this.”

“Ah! You bastard, don’t you dare! Don’t go save that picture!”

“You underestimated the brocon tendencies of your little sister! If it’s for you, she’d be willing to even text me or Yamazaki!”

“Ah…ahhhhhh…!”

Hey now, is that really such a big deal? I was only joking around…Also, is it that bad to have a brocon little sister? I wouldn’t mind having a little sis like Yuki-chan. I want her to snuggle up to me in my bed. Ah, I got a response.

‘Thank you very much for the picture. I will become a young girl myself.’

Huh, she sure is determined to…Wait, young girl? What might she be talking about? Is she going to swallow some of that apotoxin? She should be in middle school right now, isn’t she…I feel like she’d turn into a toddler…Imagine her talking normally while in that body, haha.

Nevermind that, I feel like Sasaki will be called to a severe family meeting once he gets home. The dangerous one, I bet. That’s just what kind of girl his little sister is.

*

Just like Sasaki’s flag of his societal dag was hoisted, mine to get slaughtered by Big Sis was hoisted all the same (*Unconditional and unrelated). Natsukawa and Ashida went off somewhere, so I went to get up from my seat, only to be interrupted by my phone buzzing.

‘No need today.’

Eh, you sure? Are you telling me not to come to the student council office, or for me to even go home? I pray that it’s the former. That reminds me, I didn’t really talk too much with Big Sis for the past few days. We don’t have many connections in our lifestyle after all…I do think she’s attending cram school after all, since I barely see her at home. But, it’s rare…

“Yo, Sajou! We didn’t talk much after the seat change, right!”

“Yamazaki.”

A wild Yamazaki appeared! He’s as energetic as always, huh. Before, I felt this odd resistance towards him since our characters practically overlapped. Not to mention that he had this weird resistance as well, almost like he hated losing or something like that. Sasaki might be a handsome guy, but going by face alone, Yamazaki isn’t half bad either. However, he really shows that looks isn’t everything to get you popular. In fact, I feel my IQ dropping just by talking to him.

“Got shoved in the corner, didn’t you. Guess you really can only stay quiet with nobody around you know~”

“So who’d bother with you?”

“Don’t go underestimating me, alright. I have the girls around me actually care. As of late I’ve been talking with this and that with Koga…”

“Huh? Dude, Koga is…”

Koga is the name of a girl in this class, more specifically the type you can’t go against. She might be a bit on the smaller end, but as she’s part of the tennis club, she’s fairly tanned, behaves recklessly, and doesn’t really know how to read the mood. I guess that he’s talking with her in connection with Murata, who’s in the girls basketball club.

This isn’t just related to this class alone, but there’s always these yankee girls who go around announcing ‘Next time, I’ll do it with that guy from XX High!’. In order to approach them and their pink high school life in their heads, you need to either be a yankee like them, or a sports-type. Yamazaki might actually fit into that.

Now that I think about it, his looks and athletic abilities are much greater than mine, what’s this about?

“—Hm? Murata’s there as well, you know? Wanna eat together with us, Sajou?”

“Huh?”

Yamazaki put his arm on my shoulder, forcefully dragging me and my sweet bread along to the corner of the classroom where Koga’s group was making noise. Wow, the way she’s sitting cross-legged almost let’s me see something…

“Yo, I got this guy with me.”

“Ohh!? It’s Sajou! What’s up, wanna mix in with us?”

“He’s calmed down a lot. Got a change of character? Loner now?”

From the very beginning? Really? Just watching them makes me lose all respect for girls, you know. Just thinking that Ashida and Natsukawa might have something like that in them as well, I suddenly feel all cold inside. Well, that’s how reality works. Yamato Nadeshiko2? What’s that?

“I am, so what? You saw my seat, right?”

“Kyahaha! First one in the front! Not to mention in the corner! That’s so funny!”

And, I’m an idiot myself for playing along with that girl’s idiocy. Oddly enough, this is how you get the biggest voice in class. I don’t get it. Basically, Yamazaki has his way of doing things, and I have my own.

“So, what’s been going on as of late? How are things with Natsukawa-chan?”

“Don’t see your lovers quarrel too much as of late.”

“Yamazaki, you sold me out.”

“I didn’t though!?”

Playing dumb, moving the conversation in their favor at a thin line, just because the mood changes a bit, they think they’re good at talking. In the end though, they’ll laugh at everything.

“So, how far did you go?”

“That’s right, you were like that even in middle school, right? Did you do it? Must have done it, right?”

What, that thin line didn’t hold for long, huh. These guys like dirty jokes a bit too much. Not even boys break this easily. I can’t even see them as girls anymore.

“As if, I don’t even know where she lives.”

“Eh, no way!? Aren’t you a failure as a husband!?”

“So you haven’t made any progress at all? Is she not charming enough for you?”

These guys really don’t hold back at all. Are you saying that I’m charming instead? I mean, look at these bowlegs of yours, you’re over as a woman. If you knew how you looked, you’d understand how you never get a boyfriend. To whoever happens to accidentally fall in love with them, I’m so sorry.

“Well, look at Sajou’s face~”

“Yeah, I don’t think I could put up with that.”

Huh? Yamazaki, you wanna fight? Aren’t you quite arrogant just because we haven’t talked for a while? I know that you can brag about that if you got confessed to by someone, but…No, he might not say it, but it could have happened already. A handsome guy and member of the basketball club is pretty much a good catch for any girl, and a status symbol. Leaving aside popularity or not, wanting to go out with that reasoning is pretty normal, no?

“What about you then, Yamazaki.”

“Of course, I’m popular. I was even confessed to!”

“So? Who? Spit it out, bastard.”

“Sajou’s angry! That’s so funny!”

“But seriously, who? Now I’m curious.”

See? Out with it. We’re with these members right now, so don’t you think you can just walk away without saying anything. Depending on your answer, Koga’s group here will make fun of you for the rest of the day. I’ll fill my cup full of your tears as well.

“Don’t be shocked, but it’s actually class A’s Okumura.”

“Okumura…Murata, what kind of girl is she?”

“Eh? XXXX.”

“Well, I doubt she was serious~”

Wow…You know that this is a high-level school, right? Excuse me, Shinomiya-senpai? Public morals aren’t being protected at this school. No good, she doesn’t even care. Now it’s your turn, class rep! Do your best, Iihoshi-san!”

“……”

Ah, Yamazaki’s gotten all quiet now. Please, say something. I don’t wanna be the only one talking to them…I can only talk about Natsukawa myself. Well, I do, but I don’t wanna do any missionary work here…

“Anyway, what about you, Sajou?”

“Huh?”

“That girl from before. Brown hair, remember?”

…Is he talking about Aizawa? Come on, think about it. At first, I thought Aizawa was someone like Koga and the others of this group. But now, we are kindred souls…! Your cream puffs were great, Aizawa! Natsukawa was really happy about it! And, I can’t betray a fellow. Looking at their faces, they must think that Aizawa is someone similar to them. Not even close, she’s actually a fellow believer of the Natsukawa cult.

“Aizawa is—”

“Wataru!”

Eh, my follow-up for Aizawa was interrupted! What are you going to do about this! Now I’m not even satisfied! You know that Aizaw’s only got eyes for Arimura-senpai ever since she started attending this school! They were walking down the hallway with interlocked arms (*According to Ashida)…I wonder why, I feel like the more I say, the worse it’ll end for Aizawa’s evaluation.

Also, who interrupted me there? What if your interruption ends up with a bad rumour spreading about Aizawa? Only pure evil would try to ruin that wonderful relationship she has with Senpai!

“Hey, Wataru…!!!”

“What do you——Eh?”

I was about to complain as I turned around, only to be greeted by Natsukawa, practically glaring at me. I never saw her this angry before, so I could only swallow my words, letting out a terrified voice. W-Why is she so angry…?

“Come with me!”

“Eh, hey!? Don’t just suddenly pull on—”

I wasn’t allowed any backtalk, as my eyes could barely keep up with the rapid change of scenery in front of me. Justd pulled along, I bumped into the teacher’s desk, but I didn’t even have time to worry about the pain. My head was full of Natsukawa’s previous outburst. What is going on…?

“Wah—Ah, eh, gush!?”

Pulled out onto the hallway, we passed by the stairs leading upstairs, and I was thrown on the ground in front of the music room. I barely didn’t manage to avoid the approaching door, so with a loud manga-like ‘Bang!’ sound, I bumped right into it, with the door slamming shut. What is going on…? In front of me was the angry Natsukawa. What is going on here!? Why is this happening!?

“Haaa…Huff…”

Ehh, she’s gasping for air…! Am I going to die after all? What is she going to do to me? Please, treat me kindly…Wait no, this isn’t the time to joke around. C-Calm down, me…! Think about what you did! Why could Natsukawa be angry…It must be related to what I did so far…!

—Um, there’s much stuff that I can’t even tell which might be the biggest reason!?

1 Seems to be some kind of conan reference, but I don’t do Conan, so that’s about all I know

2 The ideal Japanese wife, devoted to her husband, and pure