Your Greatest Regret Has Returned - Chapter 0
To my wife, Elizabeth
Are you alive?
Not knowing where you are, I stay up all night.
Elizabeth, I earnestly ask you.
Are you alive?
It’s already been ten days since you left. So far, no news whatsoever.
I don’t have a heart to burn anymore, and I don’t have the nerve to ask for anything…
Elizabeth, I won’t dare ask you to come back.
Because my sin is bottomless. Please stay alive. To apologize to you, to devote the rest of my life.
I am leaving Antmarne soon. It seems there is an end to these dreadful ruins.
The destination must be Moern Palace, where I was born and raised.
Henry Philippe de Zalbert is no longer the King. Everything is seeing its place back.
He is said to be confined to a monastery. Just like you and I were imprisoned in Öretique.
However, I am not happy. Pain is the only thing I’m allowed to do without you, so it’s only natural.
The promise to take you to the throne still stands. It would be of no use if you have forgotten about it.
I have emptied several bottles of alcohol.
It’s because I was tormented by a dream of hanging around your grave all night.
All I have is a drink to forget, and this really is all I have left. You keep drifting above the swaying view.
You who are crying,
You who sit down,
Your bitten lips,
Your tears form a river,
And you are drowning in it.
It must have been me who pushed you into tears.
I know. That I can never ask for forgiveness.
After meeting the Archbishop, I immediately went to the battlefield. A place where shells and guns and knives fly.
Even the Gods turned away from me.
Do you feel like you want sympathy? You are right.
I hope you offend me.
I hope you hate me.
I hope you hate me with all your might, as I have always done. Because that is also allowed only to the living.
So please live.
So that I can ask for an apology, so that you can be frustrated in front of me many times.
In fact, I feel like I’m going crazy because I miss you.
Now I can’t go crazy on my own, but if it’s punishment, is it really a worthy punishment?
A golden emblem hangs next to the mirror. The ministers call me majesty, and the reins of a million horses are all tied to me.
Even though it is full of the things I wanted so much, even though I could have it all…
It’s like living with a bullet in the heart.
Elizabeth, you’re the only one I don’t have.
To be myself, who has always been reckless, I want you to come back.
Could it be too late?
If this is also a punishment, is it really a punishment?
I miss you. I want to keep you in my eyes only once. I feel like I’m going to die without you.
No, I’d rather die.
I couldn’t stand up at all because of my longing for you.
Elizabeth, I miss you.
Please.
Please, I miss you so much.
I think I’m going crazy…
In Antmarne without you,
Arnold Alexandre de Zalbert
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